Body Image Issues

[KevinMao133]

Body image issues, or self esteem issues, has been a big issue for me for years

It is continue bothering me as it’s has been going on for a while

there are times when I feel like nothing is going right and nothing can go right, no matter how hard I try and how much I work

Combine this with social anxiety disorder, it’s causing problems for me

not sure how I can overcome this. I will continue to work, I will continue to get better and hopefully things get better as time goes on

 

[SimonSays]

Overcoming comes out of accepting. You are as you are.

When it seems like nothing goes right, and then you think nothing can go right, no matter how much you try and how much you work, the way to change this is to stop trying to change it.

By accepting things as they are, or if you can't accept things as they are in that moment, accept the way you feel about the way things are, you create a space around yourself, which in time you can expand into, where it's not so difficult anymore.

It takes some practice to overcome previous patterns of thinking, but with practice it gets easier, to the point where it's no longer affecting you any way like it used to.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

HI, @KevinMao133 . At your age I had profound self esteem issues due to severe social anxiety and a feeling of isolation. I wanted a relationship, yet could not read social signaling, so felt rejected. Only with 20/20 hindsight did I realize that there were women who noticed me and I wonder if they felt rejected when I did not respond to an interest that I could not see. Plus I was whipsawed by the expectations of others.

So, at 25 and lonely, I embraced my interests, studied social interaction, and learned to advocate for myself, including my happiness. I started liking myself and got involved with activity groups I enjoyed. So, knowing that life would not deliver me a relationship, I started asking out women, yet was still a virgin until 28 when I met my spouse on a trail maintenance trip. I ascribe that meeting to the Red String of Fate and I developed past that earlier dysfunction.

I wish you well and would recommend social counseling.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Here is an interesting article on how to be social and embrace your neurodiversity. I think that others here besides me explored social situations to see what we liked and managed to meet accepting people. The most recent "aquisition" is the bike clubs I belong to. I have grown to enjoy many of these people tremendously. There is one person on here who is trying so avidly and whose setbacks make me feel very sad.

An Autistic Social Butterfly’s Guide to Making Friends

 

[Suzette]

Every now again I get these flashes of inspiration that impart wisdom that seems to come from a higher power.

One of these flashes is this: Do not judge others because you will also judge yourself and you can not live up to your own expectations for yourself. All judgment is fantasy. You think you are being objective but you aren't. You are juding yourself and others against false measures. Do not judge.

I hope this helps!

 

[Magna]

Body image issues can be debilitating. I hope you can grow to a point of accepting yourself, your good points, etc. There are body issues that can sometimes be changed (e.g. weight) and then issues about one's body that can't be changed (e.g. height, foot size, head size, penis size for a man, etc). In either case I don't think people who don't have body image issues can understand how encompassing the issue can be for those who do.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Do not judge others because you will also judge yourself and you can not live up to your own expectations for yourself.

True. I ended up hurting myself when I judged myself harshly for the lack of social aptitude that I saw that so many possessed.

 

[KevinMao133]

Body image issues can be debilitating. I hope you can grow to a point of accepting yourself, your good points, etc. There are body issues that can sometimes be changed (e.g. weight) and then issues about one's body that can't be changed (e.g. height, foot size, head size, penis size for a man, etc). In either case I don't think people who don't have body image issues can understand how encompassing the issue can be for those who do.

I agree with everything, especially the part about penis size (things that can’t be changed). People don’t understand how much of an issue this is, especially for man. Having the perfect body is everything, especially during dating

 

[OkRad]

What is a big body part or big wallet next to a big mind? Cute bodies last a few years. A big mind? Forever.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I agree with everything, especially the part about penis size (things that can’t be changed). People don’t understand how much of an issue this is, especially for man. Having the perfect body is everything, especially during dating

I hope you learn that "size" isn't the Alpha and Omega of a vibrant sex life. There are many paths to learning your lover's body that will allow you to enjoy experiencing her excitement and pleasure.

 

[Suzette]

I hope you learn that "size" isn't the Alpha and Omega of a vibrant sex life. There are many paths to learning your lover's body that will allow you to enjoy experiencing her excitement and pleasure.

Just taking the time to try is amazingly rare and wonderfully loving. Sexual selfishness is all too common.

 

[Slim Jim]

I Look like my avatar. People tell me I'm handsome. Woman smile at me all the time, flirt with me. I'm 6 foot. Not obese. Normal sized 'parts'. Every male wishes he was a Porn star.

But I do have acne flare ups. I always had skin problems all my life. I have perfectionist tendencies, So I absolute hate this about my appearance. I think it has made me shy. Plus I was diagnoses with Asperger. Naturally introverted. Just awkwardness. Compounded.

But I never let anybody see that I have insecurities, When I interact. I act 100% confident where ever I go. You would never know.

 

[Darkkin]

I don't have a bone that isn't visible. I have monkey toes, knobby knees, and a malformed rib cage, which ironically gives me my hour glass shape. What people don't see are the scars on my left leg and the access port in my rib cage.

My subcutaneous fat percentage is also nearly 20% below where it should be for my gender. And you can see every muscle and vein. I have no heat retention either.

People ask me how I stay as small as I do and it bothers me because my size is directly related to chronic illness, not because of lifestyle choices. I've struggled with failure to thrive my entire life. When I'm around the rest of my family, my siblings in particular you can tell there is something wrong.

I've long since learned that if you wear things that fit well, people notice what you're wearing instead of bony fingers and hollow cheeks. Is it another layer of masking. Definitely. But people see what they want to see. No one looks too closely.

 

[Takato]

I know all about body issues. I have Moebius Syndrome, a rare condition that makes my face look different and effects other things too. Here's what I'll tell you: I just got dumped, but before that I had been in a relationship for 13 years where the guy loved me for me, despite how I looked. (We broke up mainly because of long distance.) As much as I am hurting atm because of the breakup, I will tell you what I tell everyone:

If I can find someone, anyone can.

(....Maybe I needed that pep talk too. I've been depressed thinking I'll never find another. But people are out there.)

 

[Nick12]

BE HAPPY THAT YOU ARE YOU I WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY DAY