Blocking

[WildCat]

That's something you would need to ask him if he decides to address it. Otherwise, what anybody else says - people who were not there and not involved in this - is educated guessing and speculation.

Unfortunate that it happened, but I too would also agree that you need to move on.

 

[paloftoon]

Cate, you seem like a real winner! I hope you find someone that satisfies your persona, cause you definitely deserve the best. I know how you feel.

 

[Cate]

Thank you for the kind words. What was your experience? Similar?

 

[paloftoon]

Somewhat, not entirely. All the people who blocked me were people I didn't feel well connected with. There are good people who instead of blocked me, ignored me or didn't reciprocate or initiate and weren't direct enough of course because that is the socially "acceptable" way to be.

 

[Cate]

Thank you for the response. You sound very balanced and literate. What do you do in Philly? I was there for the Rock and Roll Half-Marathon about 10 years ago. I reside in Toronto.

 

[hatfullofrain]

I know this feeling. It's like when you're on a bus and expecting it to keep traveling down the road you're on, but suddenly it turns and you feel disoriented.

I had a similarish thing happen. He just changed one day and said, that's it over. Things seemed fine, but it was all of a sudden over. I wanted to understand why and he kept just telling me the same thing, that it was just over and that's that.

I wondered if it was some Asperger's related issue with processing emotions, but he never came back.

He's married now, so at least someone gets him. That person was not me.

 

[Cate]

I know this feeling. It's like when you're on a bus and expecting it to keep traveling down the road you're on, but suddenly it turns and you feel disoriented.

I had a similarish thing happen. He just changed one day and said, that's it over. Things seemed fine, but it was all of a sudden over. I wanted to understand why and he kept just telling me the same thing, that it was just over and that's that.

Exactly.

 

[paloftoon]

Thank you for the response. You sound very balanced and literate. What do you do in Philly? I was there for the Rock and Roll Half-Marathon about 10 years ago. I reside in Toronto.

Sometimes I'm well balanced. Making a lot of social faux pas- messing up a few potentially good friendships/relationships and getting relatively manipulated/mistreated by others or having to fight those kind of people have helped me to appreciate how to deal with future situations. I know that I'm not one for small talk if it's not work related. So, if, for instance, a person I barely know wants me to add them to Facebook, instead of just accepting or telling them "no" directly, I tell them that I only like to add people that I hang out with 1-1 outside and organized group. Then I invite them to an outing at my convenience of something that I like. 99% of people don't take me up on this, and that's okay. No one can complain that I didn't give them a chance. Some get annoyed. Too bad, lol.

 

[Cate]

Sometimes I'm well balanced. Making a lot of social faux pas- messing up a few potentially good friendships/relationships and getting relatively manipulated/mistreated by others or having to fight those kind of people have helped me to appreciate how to deal with future situations. I know that I'm not one for small talk if it's not work related. So, if, for instance, a person I barely know wants me to add them to Facebook, instead of just accepting or telling them "no" directly, I tell them that I only like to add people that I hang out with 1-1 outside and organized group. Then I invite them to an outing at my convenience of something that I like. 99% of people don't take me up on this, and that's okay. No one can complain that I didn't give them a chance. Some get annoyed. Too bad, lol.

Inviting them to an outing is a brilliant idea. In my scenario, had I known I would have been accepting. Such is life. If I may ask, how were you manipulated/mistreated? Sometimes I feel like that too. Doesn't help that I also have abandonment issues and react.

 

[paloftoon]

Inviting them to an outing is a brilliant idea. In my scenario, had I known I would have been accepting. Such is life. If I may ask, how were you manipulated/mistreated? Sometimes I feel like that too. Doesn't help that I also have abandonment issues and react.

It's complicated as each situation varies drastically and I can't necessarily remember "all" of them, lol.

One time, I joined a running group, and they would have a get together dinner after the run. The first time the dinner happened, I ordered some stuff and hung around for like 1.5-2 hours and I was bored out of my mind. I couldn't connect with people and was just trying to be polite. The 2nd time, I stayed at the outing for 10 minutes, only ordered a water, then let people know I was leaving and left.
The third time I went out for a run, the group ignored me like I wasn't there. I went to the bathroom and then they ran without me. I still ran on my own as I knew the path enough and was already dressed up for it. I stopped participating in the group after that. Despite that bad result, I did make a friend from that group. He quit for different reasons as some of the members wanted him to write an essay for the BLM movement about how he was friends with them for years when they were only starting to get acquainted because he is the fastest runner in the group. A few of those people also encouraged him to attend DC marches, but those same people wouldn't go themselves

 

[Stardust Parade]

Move on.

 

[stereolounge]

Hello. My name is Cate. I recently dated a man with Asperger's. We went out for 2-3 weeks and then he dropped me by text.

I do not have Asperger's and wasn't aware until now about the aversion to hand holding or kissing. He felt I took advantage but based on his words I didn't think so. Anyway, he was a wonderful man.

We talked on the phone after the final text and within seconds after the conversation he blocked me on WhatsApp and his cell phone/ texts.

I am mortified. We both misunderstood each other and I feel terrible. I want contact but clearly he doesn't. Are the chances slim that he will unblock me? Is this typical or just his own coping method.

Also, what are the chances he will reconnect? I did send a quick email apologizing for my part but no response. I wrote that I will not communicate further unless he chooses to do so. I now understand the full magnitude of my actions but he never divulged he had Asperger's.

Thoughts?

Sounds very similar to my situation my friend has aspergers but i think i upset her didn't mean to but got one message and im suddenly blocked on everything with no explanation im so confused. Its very difficult as we where very close for years not a whole lot i can do. We dont live close by and i don't think i have her email so all i can hope for is eventually she might get in contact with me. Lost my best friend unfortunately.

 

[Lorelei528]

I understand what you are saying. Yes, sometimes relationships don't work out with anyone . .. Asperger's or otherwise

All I meant was if I had more information, I would have handled the situation differently. No kisses or hand-holding. Also, the miscommunication by text and words contributed. I get that sometimes people don't want to be with the person they are dating, but it's sad because it's solely a miscommunication. We were getting along tremendously otherwise.

It eats me up knowing that he had Asperger's but chose not to tell me. I am sure he had his reasons but it put me at a disadvantage. I have been upset for days. Being blocked doesn't give me a chance to do anything.

Other than this one misunderstanding we had no issues I was aware of. We laughed all the time and talked calmly right up to the last day. Then I was dumped by text in the morning. Later he had a meltdown on the phone and the offer for friendship also went out the door. I am sadder than ever. He was the most creative, kindest individual i have ever met.

I am going through exactly the same thing. Did you ever hear from him?

 

[lunarious]

I am going through exactly the same thing. Did you ever hear from him?

i'm Asperger's. Based on this issue from @Cate. I'm Negativist whatever that means, negativist does not mean bad, it means i have my struggels. Normal people likely suffer as Asperger's do, but i me don't see why being responsible of other Humans is my responsibility.

Girfriend or anything. We have contracts, in marriage or business.

Not that i want to step on others and hurt them. Because you yourself by venting such melodramatic you ARE stepping on my name (Aspergers or ASD 1). .. A d that's dumb. .... And of course we must NOT be dumb.

 

[stereolounge]

Hello. My name is Cate. I recently dated a man with Asperger's. We went out for 2-3 weeks and then he dropped me by text.

I do not have Asperger's and wasn't aware until now about the aversion to hand holding or kissing. He felt I took advantage but based on his words I didn't think so. Anyway, he was a wonderful man.

We talked on the phone after the final text and within seconds after the conversation he blocked me on WhatsApp and his cell phone/ texts.

I am mortified. We both misunderstood each other and I feel terrible. I want contact but clearly he doesn't. Are the chances slim that he will unblock me? Is this typical or just his own coping method.

Also, what are the chances he will reconnect? I did send a quick email apologizing for my part but no response. I wrote that I will not communicate further unless he chooses to do so. I now understand the full magnitude of my actions but he never divulged he had Asperger's.

Thoughts?

This sounds identical to my situation with a friend/best friend with Asperger's I got probably to close to her and now I'm blocked on everything I was aware of some aspects of Asperger's but didn't fully understand it and sadly lost her after 10 years just wish I did things differently and knew more. All I can do now is hope some day she'll get back in contact one of the hardest things I've been through she helped me through a lot of stuff in the long time I knew and then lost her. It's very difficult.