Best funny line you can think of.

[Wolfnox]

If you hear voices in your head how do you know their not really good ninjas.

 

[Ken S.]

Wife: "Not tonight I have a **Insert excuse here**."
Me: "I've got a cure for that!, and if it doesn't work do it again because you did it wrong the first time."

 

[Crossbreed]

If you hear voices in your head how do you know their not really good ninjas.

Uhhh... because of the fact that you can hear them...?

 

[Streetwise]

Wife: "Not tonight I have a **Insert excuse here**."
Me: "I've got a cure for that!, and if it doesn't work do it again because you did it wrong the first time."

baby exiting my uterus

 

[Crossbreed]

baby exiting my uterus

For the literal-minded here (like me), does your response mean

• That was so funny that I just gave birth,
• Your "remedy" made me pregnant, or
• something else...?
  

 

[Ken S.]

baby exiting my uterus

Would that count as a threesome?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

This thread is getting strange

 

[Nervous Rex]

She was only the rancher's daughter, but all the horsemen knew her. (Read it out loud)

 

[Ken S.]

This thread is getting strange

If you of all people think it's getting strange then my job here is done.

 

[Wolfnox]

Read my apple sauce.

 

[Nervous Rex]

As a scientist, Dr. Throckmorton knew that if he passed gas in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.

(from the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest)

 

[Nervous Rex]

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

(From Steven Wright)

 

[Streetwise]

For the literal-minded here (like me), does your response mean

• That was so funny that I just gave birth,
• Your "remedy" made me pregnant, or
• something else...?
  

I don't really have a spontaneous sense of humour I thought of woman not tonight and what would come after not tonight if you haven't slept for more than three hours a night for the last 13 years that's probably what you would come up with

 

[Aspychata]

At bar, two guys talking. 1st guy- "what the hell are you doing, that's a perfectly good drink you poured all over your left hand." 2nd guy- "It's my girlfriend , l am trying to get her drunk before l take her home."

 

[SusanLR]

Pregnant woman remembering the party: " I should have danced all night."