Being Friendly

[fern_77]

Why not just say hello back and move on with your life? As @Fino said, being greeted by others is a daily occurrence for most people. There are plenty of things to be annoyed about in this world, but teachers saying hi to you in the hallway shouldn’t be one of them. Just say hi back and then go about your day. No big deal.

I understand. It's just irritating feeling like I need to greet people when I am trying to walk through the hallways and avoid bumping into people.

 

[Aspychata]

Yes. I agree. We are concentrating get thru hall's with our clothes staying on, not dropping things. I was so overwhelmed with the shear number of HS kids. My junior high wasn't too bad.

 

[Jordy]

They can't say hello to every student, that would be to much effort, so why specifically you? I know why they greeted me, because i stick out.

 

[Darkkin]

One of my favourite cheats to avoid eye contact, well human contact in general, if truth be told, was mastering reading while walking. (I only do it with books I've already read, that was a hard lesson to learn because I did go face first into a wall while buried in a new book. Explaining my broken glasses to Mom...ouch. She looked at me like I was an idiot and in this instance she wasn't wrong.)

People don't poke at me when I have my book out and headphones in.

 

[fern_77]

They can't say hello to every student, that would be to much effort, so why specifically you? I know why they greeted me, because i stick out.

I'm not sure. I know it might be that teachers say hello to me in the hallways because they consider me polite, but I sometimes wonder if they actually do so out of pity. Maybe they think "this kid looks like they would be made fun of since they carry around an avocado plushie and wear big headphones, so I will be friendly towards them so they do not feel too bad."

 

[Callistemon]

I'm not sure. I know it might be that teachers say hello to me in the hallways because they consider me polite, but I sometimes wonder if they actually do so out of pity. Maybe they think "this kid looks like they would be made fun of since they carry around an avocado plushie and wear big headphones, so I will be friendly towards them so they do not feel too bad."

I don't think it's necessarily pity when a person is nice to someone who may look like they could use it. It might actually be a practical form of love for other people.

When you're nice to people yourself, is it from pity, or because you care?

 

[fern_77]

I don't think it's necessarily pity when a person is nice to someone who may look like they could use it. It might actually be a practical form of love for other people.

When you're nice to people yourself, is it from pity, or because you care?

I see.

When I am nice to people, it is because I care about them.

 

[Callistemon]

Thought so, @fern_77!

Isn't it funny though, how we all hate the idea of being pitied, even though most people are just nice because they care.

(The people who feign niceness to take advantage of others are another kettle of fish entirely!)

 

[Darkkin]

Anyone else struggle with hyper-independence (struggling to accept help when people are just trying to be kind).

I tend to freak out about it, not because of the other person's actions, but because I might fail and drop my mask because of overwhelm. When my emotions are that close to the surface, all I want to do is hide, not play nice and respond correctly. It pulls on resources that have already gone into the red.

I always look like I have it together with people I know. When I do engage it is usually with humour and weird information, and most people do enough talking of their own that they don't notice if I'm staying quiet and just people watching.

About the only time I go true flat aspect is when I'm too tired, or my routine has been skewed. Physically I cannot force my brain to fake nice. I try to treat others as I like to be treated, as a functional, articulate human being. Simple kindness, but there are points when kindness gives way to passiveness and I just want to get through the moment and escape.

From a personal standpoint, I will give people the benefit of the doubt, but on rare occasions someone will set my hackles up for seemingly no reason, but more often than not those reasons soon become clear and instinct proves correct. Folks like this I try to actively avoid because the social spoons needed are not worth the effort.