• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Bad dating advise your parents gave you

Pariah Dog

Pariah Dog

Well-Known Member
I intend for this thread to be both informative and funny. I thought of it this morning while I was working and how now forgot a good deal of what I wanted to say I think. I can always add more later.


Dad when I was probably 19: You shouldn't be sitting home on a friday night. Pick a girls number out of your black book and make a call or to. You DO have a black book of girls numbers right?
I didn't have much of an answer. The truth is I couldn't tell you if I even had one girl's number then, let alone many numbers that would necessitate an entire book of some sort. And to keep this a bit in context cell phones were still a bit primitive and not entirely ubiquitous yet.


Both parents on more than one occasion: Just be yourself around the girls. They will like you.
This in of itself is not bad advise. However if your natural self tends to be repelling then it really doesn't work. Being someone fake is not likely to work either (or be a good alternative even if it did work). A person in this position is pretty much just out of luck. Very few people want to face that inconvenient truth, especially parents who are hoping the best for their kid.


Mom when I was 21: You should go to this (it was some motorcycle event as I was newly riding a motorcycle and is a passion of mine), I'm sure you'll meet a girl there that is into something you love
I just envisioned some haggard middle aged chain smoking Harley mama and shuttered at the image. I did not end up going because I had to work if I remember right.

I'll probably think up some more tomorrow. Too late to think and I need to sleep. Maybe my parents advise wasn't so much bad, just more so that it was not applicable to me and they were unable to recognize that (or didn't want to). They were well meaning.
 
All the dating advice my parents gave me was bad... Including scaring all the boys away with a shotgun...
 
it might me ott but if the vain offensive comment pariah dog made about a middle aged chainsmoking haggard Harley mama is the typical male bigoted response they were wise
Momo said:
All the dating advice my parents gave me was bad... Including scaring all the boys away with a shotgun...
Click to expand...
Pariah Dog said:
I intend for this thread to be both informative and funny. I thought of it this morning while I was working and how now forgot a good deal of what I wanted to say I think. I can always add more later.


Dad when I was probably 19: You shouldn't be sitting home on a friday night. Pick a girls number out of your black book and make a call or to. You DO have a black book of girls numbers right?
I didn't have much of an answer. The truth is I couldn't tell you if I even had one girl's number then, let alone many numbers that would necessitate an entire book of some sort. And to keep this a bit in context cell phones were still a bit primitive and not entirely ubiquitous yet.


Both parents on more than one occasion: Just be yourself around the girls. They will like you.
This in of itself is not bad advise. However if your natural self tends to be repelling then it really doesn't work. Being someone fake is not likely to work either (or be a good alternative even if it did work). A person in this position is pretty much just out of luck. Very few people want to face that inconvenient truth, especially parents who are hoping the best for their kid.


Mom when I was 21: You should go to this (it was some motorcycle event as I was newly riding a motorcycle and is a passion of mine), I'm sure you'll meet a girl there that is into something you love
I just envisioned some haggard middle aged chain smoking Harley mama and shuttered at the image. I did not end up going because I had to work if I remember right.

I'll probably think up some more tomorrow. Too late to think and I need to sleep. Maybe my parents advise wasn't so much bad, just more so that it was not applicable to me and they were unable to recognize that (or didn't want to). They were well meaning.
Click to expand...
 
My parents didn't give me any advice about dating or relationships. The only vaguely relationship type advice my Mum ever gave me was

"Are you sure you want to meet him? What if he's some kind of axe murderer??"

when I said I was finally going to meet a guy face to face who'd I'd met on MySpace and had been chatting to for a few months.

We've been together for 11 years on Friday, married for 6 on Saturday.
He was quite obviously not an axe murderer.
 
some very blunt and no nonsense contraception advice from dad "You can go sha**ng to the moon and back for all I care just get yourself on the pill, you don't need kids at your age"
...Thanks Pops x

Not much other than approval or disapproval from mum. A bit like a Roman Emperors' thumbs up or thumbs down after meeting whatever I happened to have dragged home this time.
Before that triggers an image of me dragging my prey home between slavering jaws, let me assure you they volunteered :D
 
I never received any advice; they just did not care enough; so it was a case of me fumbling my way into trying to understand the concept of it all.

I was uncomfortably aware that my sister of two years my junior, had already started dating and seemed to have no end of a stream of chaps, to the point, I wondered if I was going to obhorrent to the opposite sex always, which was silly thinking, because, one time, she walks into the living room, crying and say that her boyfriend is now her ex and then, sort of as an offshoot said to me: he wants to talk to you? I must have been so niave, because I wondered what on earth he wanted to talk to me about? So, I went out of the room and he was waiting in the "eating" area. Now, he was a good looking guy, but he was my sister's boyfriend, so it was AMAZING when he said that he could not get me out of his head; that he had fallen for me and that is why he had to end it with my sister. Of course I was flattered lol but with a sense of pride, I wouldn't do that to my sister. Actually, I was disgusted that he should be so bold as to think I would date him!

I did tell my sister because she insisted and it did not matter that I had declined; I was seen as the wicked one. What has plain Suzanne got that her sister hasn't? Type of thing.

I remember going on a date along side that sister. There she was,confidence pouring out from her skin and there I was panicking that the guy wouldn't like me. I felt so exposed. But much to my surprise and pleasure, after the date, my sister got a phone call to say that her guy's friend REALLY liked me and wanted to see me again.

I have no idea how long we dated for, but we were very into each other and even when his best friend ended it with my sister, he insisted that he liked me for me, not just because his friend was dating my sister. We continued for a while together, but it became evident, that in fact, it was for that reason, because it ended. I think I was in tears, but not too sure.

We actually met up again at some point and he said he wanted to give it another go. Had just broken up with a girl, but the warning signs were there, because his parents ADORED her. Anyway, we dated again, but it did not last and we both agreed that the past should stay in the past.

I think I have lived my life in a state of surprise every time a guy says he is attracted to me. Even now, being married, my husband just said yesterday: I cannot stop loving you, even when I try! And that is because of how difficult our relationship is. I laughed and said that if most women were told that, they would think it was an insanly romantic thing to say and yes, I saw it was, but it just intriqued me why he feels that way? I do ask, but have to add that it is not because I am seeking compliments, because I am curious to know what it is about me that is so compelling, enough for a guy to never look at another woman for 26 years!

Sorry for my "book".
 
Ah Pariah Dog, that was epic advice:)
My parent's advice about not dating:
"If you go to the dance, you bring all your sisters, and you only dance with them."
"Your brother and his two defense-line buddies will be there, to keep an eye on you."
"You are not wearing a mini skirt, I don't care what the fashion is, wear this
nice blouse and full skirt and slip that covers the knees."
"Don't you dare roll up that skirt when you leave the house."
"Keep that jacket zipped up at all times, you'll catch pneumonia."
"If you get pregnant, you'll go to a home for unwed mothers."
"French kissing will get you pregnant.":):rolleyes::eek:
 
Last edited:
"Just don't bring home a girl from north of the Potomac River."

- Mom :p

She was kidding. Or not. o_O
 
My parents never really gave me any dating advice, interesting enough. When I told my parents I'm gay they supported me and said they'd be happy whoever I marry but that was it. I have yet to date.
 
My parents gave essentially no advice about dating. What that meant is that everything I've learned about dating came from Archie comics.

Oh, but one thing: my parents never cared whether I (or any sibling) was in a relationship or not. Whew.
 
My dad:
1. "Whether the rose falls on the thorn, or the thorn falls on the rose, it's the rose that gets hurt." EW!
2. "Once you've graduated from college, we'll find a nice boy for you to marry."

My mom, on the other hand, gave good advice: "Always keep a separate bank account." ;)
 
I've not been given any dating advice as I've never wanted to go on a date, nor found anyone that I wanted to date.
My Dad has talked to me about the possibilities and my mum has expressed concern about me constantly spending time on my own at home (considering my siblings and step-siblings have all moved out, started relationships and - for some of them - had kids of their own).

In response, I've replied that the friends I make online are fine as I can talk to you guys at a time I feel comfortable and I can switch off and do my own thing when I want.
On top of this, if I ever did find a 'friend' to go out with, I'd stress about arranging times to meet, travel arrangements and getting smartened up, etc.
Furthermore, I'd be forcing myself to try committing to small-talk and making eye contact with the people I meet, which will be even more stressful if me and the person I'm talking too share few of the same interests. Online, I've got none of those worries.

In regards to getting a girlfriend and eventually starting a family, I'm not bothered by it. I'm an Asexual - with myself finding the process of sex to be repulsive from my own point of view (trying to get through sex education lessons in school wasn't a fun experience), and as I've stated I've simply never had an interest in starting life with someone else.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm an Uncle to two nieces and two nephews - and that's good enough for me.
 
(When I was a teen there was no text messaging, internet,etc). Bad advise: never call a boy, he'll think you are too easy.
 
My mom's advice was boys only want sex, don't be alone with them and then proceeded to give me the very long explanation of abortion and how it works. Thankfully I never really wanted to have sex anyways, it was an interest in everyone else's lives though.

I once made the mistake of discussing abortion in Health Class, I've never seen some many teenage girls throw a fit over it. It wasn't my intention but they all wanted to talk about adoption or actually keeping the babies, there is another option too. If you went to my high school, you'd think that they had never heard that before ever.
 
Not sure if this counts as dating advice, but my mum once told me that no-one has a boyfriend before the age of 16 (the UK's high teenage pregnancy rate notwithstanding*) and boys aren't interested until they're 17. I repeated this to someone closer my age, whose reaction was: "God, it's a wonder you were born."
* I understand that the situation has improved since then:
The drop in teenage pregnancies is the success story of our time (from 2013)
 
I'm trying, but I cannot think of a single thing either of my parents told me about dating, or the opposite gender in general. The closest it ever came was when I brought my first girlfriend home, and they had to confirm that she was actually my girlfriend, not just a friend. Turns out they thought I was gay. Hmm.
 
the whole be yourself nonsense.
they still try that nonsense and I'm almost 30
It's not worked yet it's not gonna work now.

And the whole try online (I don't really go anywhere online that has many women)
None of my interests ever seem to have many in them.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom