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Autistic traits more pronounced right after waking up

Bolletje

Bolletje

Overly complicated potato
V.I.P Member
I'm not sure how to phrase this in the title, but I'm curious if other people around here experience the same thing I am. I'm usually quite capable of understanding subtext in a conversation, and I'd say I'm fluent in sarcasm. However, when I've just woken up (I'd say at least in the first hour or so after waking), I tend to take every remark completely literal. I am unable to discern when my boyfriend says something to me in jest. I am unable to follow any of his thought processes unless he spells them out for me, I become really agitated really quickly because I feel like I fail at basic communication. It's like I understand all the words coming out of his mouth separately, but I cannot comprehend what he means to say when I put all the words together. At least half of our fights start this way, when he comes home from his night shift, says something innocuous which I don't understand, which makes me agitated, he tells me to calm down (which causes me to go full Super Saiyan, because never tell an agitated woman to calm down unless you want her to flip out, you... handsome cowboy :rolleyes:) and I fail to put together the words I need to explain what is going on.

It's a very scary feeling to experience my brain not functioning properly. I'm not sure whether it's my autism being more pronounced in the morning, or maybe it's the other way around, and my compensatory mechanisms haven't booted up yet. Most of the times I feel like a relatively normal human being, capable of understanding the more subtle nuances of the art of conversation. Days go by without me thinking of being on the spectrum at all, and then this happens and I feel like an idiot sandwich. Doesn't help that my boyfriend is as much of a word artist as I am, so even when I'm fully on I need to focus on the meaning behind his artful word soup :p We had a big fight this morning because he said the word "Cobweb" and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he said it, turned out he was referring to the episode of Archer playing in the background. Only found that out when I was on the brink of tears.

In a way, I feel lucky, because I only experience this when I'm barely awake or super tired. For some people, every day and every conversation is this taxing. Still, it's quite draining. I've tried to instruct my boyfriend to use small words and break his thoughts down into lil' bits so it's easier for me to process, but he's tired when he gets home from his night shifts so that doesn't help either. I make a habit of getting up at least an hour before I have to leave for work, so that my brain has some time to boot up my social software, so to speak, but I can hardly expect my boyfriend to keep his mouth shut until I've been awake for an hour :p

Are any of you experiencing the same? If so, did you found a workaround for this?
 
Yes! I do not want to communicate when I just get up. When people talk to me my mind is far away. Have in the past told my family members to not talk to me in them morning. If I need to communicate in the morning I need to hear what they say again and focus, even for very simple stuff. It is very annoying too.
 
Absolutely! Same thing happens to me, I am far from a morning person. I remember my parents were having a conversation about who was driving me to where one time, and I just couldn't figure out what they were on about, and when my father pulled out of the driveway with only my brother's when I had thought I was coming along too, I chased the car down the street and threw my bags at it. Then proceeded to bash at the front door of the house (not even realising that my mother was still home) and when she opened it to the complete rage monster I was at the time, shocked doesn't quite cover how she was. Apparently, the boys were going with dad and I was supposed to be going with her. I didn't get that from their complete jargon of a conversation. Do not mess with me in the morning, I will throw things ;)
 
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Well...the less alert I am, the more prone I am to displaying autistic traits and behaviors. Not confined to any point early or late in the night or evening. Just relative to my own energy levels.

Which makes me more like Cinderella at social events. I can go only so long before I need to skedaddle, or risk the wrath of irate NTs. :eek:
 
Have noticed that too @Bolletje although only now that you've focused attention on it, it makes sense. Don't talk very much in the morning, and am easily upset if someone is too talkative, as I don't feel ready to respond.

Late at night when tired, I'm not terribly verbose. My spouse is a night owl and wants to have conversations about things when I'm fatigued. Don't respond well to his desire to discuss world affairs at bedtime. Now that I know this, I'll make provision for it. Thanks for pointing it out.
 
For myself, I need coffee in the morning, it is everyone's best interest to feed me in the morning.
 
Wow. All of this is edifying. I do not do mornings well and I did not know why. It had not yet occurred to me that it might be Aspergers connected. I will have to think about this some more when it is not morning here. :(
 
Sadly, it doesn't make a difference what time of day or night it is, I will take something literally still and fail to understand sarcasm or jesting. Ironically, I am given to being sarcastic myself and jest too.

I did make a bit of achievement not so long ago. I was in bed with hubby and we were cuddling ( rare ok for me) and I said that I needed to visit the toilet and he said: no, don't go, don't leave me and for a split second, I panicked and though: but if I don't go to the toilet, I will explode. I then, chided myself and realised I had taken him too literally and it felt ok after that.
 
Keigan said:
Potentially more related to your diet. Get away from sugar if you can.
Click to expand...
I get that you're trying to be helpful, but you don't know anything about my dietary habits. I'm experiencing communication differences that are quite upsetting to me and to my boyfriend. Apart from the fact that 1. I don't personally believe that consuming products with sugar causes these problems, and 2. the fact that I don't consume sugar, it feels a little demeaning to have someone tell me that my diet is causing this. I'm sure you didn't intend to sound preachy, but that is the way I perceived it.
I'm not tired or grumpy in the mornings, I don't need coffee or food to wake me up, I just find myself incapable of anything more than basic communication.
 
Alaska said:
Wow. All of this is edifying. I do not do mornings well and I did not know why. It had not yet occurred to me that it might be Aspergers connected. I will have to think about this some more when it is not morning here. :(
Click to expand...

Yep. Next time you're exhausted regardless of when, review your own perception of how much or how little you have projected your own known autistic traits and behaviors. You just might start to discover a pattern to it all.

My mimicking NT behavior degrades seriously when I'm fatigued...or extremely relaxed. Makes me think of Captain Sulu yelling at me, "SHIELDS! SHIELDS!" :p

Sorry Captain, at times this Aspie ain't got nuthin' left. :eek:

 
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I am known not to be talked to or interfered with until I give the greenlight. Sometimes it takes an hour, sometimes 3, sometimes only 20 mn. But I have to mentally brace myself for the day ahead of me, every day, like I'm setting up the filters and building on the mask.

So yes, anytime I'm tired, and that includes the first hour or so of my day, I feel much less adjusted, or much less NT-ready, if you will. I've noticed periods of stress have that effect as well, but it's mostly because they are exhausting. In those cases, I will be the most literal person ever, and my motor skills aren't really there. Fun thing I noticed when I moved in with my boyfriend after years living on my own: I couldn't do my make up if he talked to me at the same time. You would see me in front of the mirror, make up brush in hand, and completely clueless about what it was for. Try the same experiment in the middle of the day, and I'm able to multitask.
The one limitation I have, though, is sarcasm: I'm only half-fluent, in that I've mastered using it pretty well, but I can't be on the receiving end without being completely baffled...
 
Judge said:
Yep. Next time you're exhausted regardless of when, review your own perception of how much or how little you have projected your own known autistic traits and behaviors. You just might start to discover a pattern to it all.

My mimicking NT behavior degrades seriously when I'm fatigued...or extremely relaxed. Makes me think of Captain Sulu yelling at me, "SHIELDS! SHIELDS!" :p

Sorry Captain, at times this Aspie ain't got nuthin' left. :eek:

Click to expand...

I will try that. It will probably be edifying.
 
I am completely nonfunctional and incoherent when I first wake up.
If someone tries to wake me up in the morning, I usually have a meltdown.
 
I too am completely nonfunctional and incoherent when I wake up in the morning, but not quite as much if it's just a short nap. My NT girlfriend knows not to even attempt communication for at least 45 minutes and be certain that extra-strong coffee is available and ready. It never occurred to me before that this might be due to Asperger's.

If coffee was not available it might take me hours.

She, OTOH, is bright and bouncy when she wakes up saying stuff like "oh, what a beautiful day" and "life is so wonderful" and all that. I might manage to say something like "ugh" which translates into the likes of "at our age any day you wake up is a good day." I do get cheerier as the day goes on.
 
I cannot stand mornings. I cannot stand getting up early only to foresee spending the rest of my day working. I don't want to talk to anybody and I don't want anybody to talk to me. I'm extremely sleepy, and extremely grumpy; I tend to display many more emotional outbursts during the morning time. All the other things, such as the severe anxieties and literal understanding, I tend to exhibit at an equal level all around the clock.
 
I never thought of this as related to ASD, but, so many along with myself seem to be the same upon waking.
I was never a morning person and I remember often when my Mom would come in around noon to wake me, I had my own need to not talk until I had breakfast.
I also like to spend some time waking up. Like laying in bed and doing some gentle stretches or putting my thoughts in order for the day for what I have to do or sometimes putting in a little affirmation time of repeating certain phrases to give a psychological punch to a something I find distressing at the time.
Unfortunately, now I get awakened abruptly most mornings by the person I live with who is an up and at 'em, loud spoken wanting to talk immediately and through breakfast time type person. I've told him I do not appreciate the hurry up, get up and loud talking as soon as I wake up, but, he doesn't seem to understand or honour this. Oh, for a quite breakfast and no rush time to wake up to get my thoughts going.o_O
 
I'm awesome in a morning.

Real, pacing the kitchen, quantum physics and existential monologue , awesome.

All my best and worst ideas happen first thing in the morning.

It the evening when crashes happen, and the whole point of the tv is to enforce no talky time.

The depth of the crash is related to the peopleyness of the day.
 
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