I am afraid of getting in trouble. I cannot understand what upsets people or makes them react strongly so I cannot prepare or control myself in a way to avoid it - I do not know what to avoid. When I was young I tried emulating the behaviors I saw and I did not get the same results. Something subtle eluded me and I would get yelled at.
As an adult the consequences could be severe so I try not to interact with strangers. I do not know the appropriate way to touch or show expression on my face or look at someone. When I was young guys I did not know would want to fight me for looking at them. I was afraid. I could never understand what made them act that way so I stopped looking at all.
Jokes are something that most people seem to understand, what you can joke about and how. If you get this wrong someone could attack you because they are offended or angry or maybe call the police because they think you made a threat. I cannot figure it out, I cannot see the pattern they use for what is acceptable.
With the risk and unpredictability I am afraid of any social encounters.
Yeah I can somewhat empathise with you.
I have similar struggles.
It's difficult.
I have got on the wrong side of people in communication and not been spoken to in a nice way. I have been yelled at, overwhelming.
Oddly enough, I find it easier with strangers than people I know.
I find that negative behaviour comes more from people I know.
The guys wanting fights must have been awful.
As for jokes, I struggle with "aggressive humour" especially when the person would say "It's a joke" I now know we both laugh if someone is genuinely joking at me.
I hope you can find resources online.
I am just learning now, how to "be with people so they know I am not ignoring them" yet not talk, because a conversation I had with a guy yesterday, upset him a bit, I think I will go over that conversation alone to see what I can learn.