He may just perseverate then, and there's not much you can do. I definitely deal with that from time to time.
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He remembers the time when he got upset with me because he couldn’t go to her groups anymore. He also asked what if it he had problems with other staff, I told him I would resolve it.He may just perseverate then, and there's not much you can do. I definitely deal with that from time to time.
I’m still having a hard time understanding the relationship dynamic here. Does this person work for the organization?
Can you clarify the roles and relationships here.
Or maybe a sheltered workshop?
I get that he may be worried about having a repeat and he’s probably working out what he did and how it was wrong. He probably also doesn’t realize that he went over the woman’s boundaries and is worried about making the same mistakes again. It’s relatively understandable but he also needs to use this as a learning experience. Like what @maycontainthunder said here:A guy whom I know at a program in which I work for people with disabilities. He has high functioning autism. He got in trouble for following a staff member around who is a young woman whom he likes. We had a discussions. She made a complaint. He constantly worries about other staff members who might do so if he ever makes them uncomfortable. How do I deal with that?
The part I have put in solid black is pretty much something common. Some guys dont really see how uncomfortable they make women feel and dont easily read that there is no Interest outside of just being friendly.To me it sounds like a normal issue of 'social illiteracy' which is quite common amongst those of us on the spectrum. What this means is that he cannot 'read' that she isn't interested in him other than as part of her job. He may also not 'see' just how uncomfortable he is actually making her. Sitting him down and explaining the situation may help as would setting some rules.
Do you know what severity level he is at?I’m one of the supervisors.
He’s high functioning. The people I work with.Do you know what severity level he is at?
If he has a counselor, you may want to ask them for effective advice.
(I say that because my ASD2 son does not learn from experience or consequences like most people do. Even my ASD3 daughter is a little better at that.)
Is the Aspergers diagnosis in your profile yours or the people that you work with?
She’s staff.If the person who complained about him is staff, then staff must be taught how to set up boundaries and remind clients gently where the line is.
If she is not staff, she still needs education on how to deal with unwanted advances.
He needs to be taught, gently, that it is not okay to follow someone around.
These are very common occurrences in adult programs for people with developmental disabilities. I’m surprised your organization does not have its own guidelines and training.
It could be he just has difficulty limiting perseveration. Following someone around romantically and now following you around with anxiety over the previous complaint could just be perseveration.
He’s a client.But what is he? Is he staff, assisted staff, or a client?
That is unclear. People use that term for both ASD1 & ASD2.He’s high functioning.
I would still consult his therapist if he is not responding correctly to conventional promptings.He’s a client.
I sometimes let him to her groups.In that case, I completely agree with @WhitewaterWoman . Why is this not being addressed internally? Why do you not have support and a team to determine how clients should learn boundaries and how staff should set them?
Why, also, was he banned from attending her group for this behavior, when it sounds like it was not entirely intentional?
It’s very sad that he is now fearful of making a mistake again. As a client, he should be more supported in learning about boundaries, not punished for crossing one.
As a supervisor of the program, I would say you need to work with your staff on how to manage boundaries. Staff there should act as role models and how to set proper boundaries.
I’m afraid that my words may sound a bit harsh, but you came here for an autistic perspective. It is very likely that he was confused by the repercussions of his behavior and it sounds like he now has anxiety about his interactions with others.
As a last note, remember that a highly stressful “discussion“ where someone’s behavior is being corrected can lead to a serious lack of how much information could be taken in. For my part, if a supervisor calls me and just speak to me about some thing I’ve done wrong, you can pretty much guarantee I only hear about 50% of what they say. Perhaps you could consider writing things down for him and definitely taking a more gentle approach.
It’s very confusing that you had to come here for answers, and I don’t mean that to offend you personally, but it sounds like the organization does not have the resources it needs to support its clients.
Under what circumstances?I sometimes let him to her groups.
Like what.Under what circumstances?
When she said it’s okay.You said sometimes he is allowed into the group, but it sounds like other times he is not. So what determines when he is allowed to go?