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Autism and Self-Awareness Issues

Magna

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Recently I was thinking about Autism and Self-Awareness. I think that's the best term to describe what I'm about to write about.

Some of the challenges autistic people have to varying degrees that are considered characteristics of autism include: Theory of Mind and Non-Verbal/Social Communication, among others.

Some autistic people are aware of their traits related to communication and how those traits are not considered typical, "normal", socially acceptable, polite, etc. However other autistic people seem to have an additional challenge in being seemingly unaware of their challenges with communication related traits. This too seems to be on a spectrum of severity. The specific traits related to communication I refer to include:

"Info-dumping"
"Over-sharing"
Talking about their "special interests" at length without being asked or without the interests being related to the current topic.
Being unaware of the "give and take" required of a two-way conversation

^ I don't think the above can fully fall under Theory of Mind since that deals more with the assumption that others think the same way you do/ don't have an autonomous mind of their own.

I'm surprised that severity level of lack of Self-Awareness isn't something that's codified into the diagnostic process.

On a personal note based on my own experience as an autistic person: I'm fully aware that I'm prone to "info-dumping", "over-sharing", wanting to talk about my special interests (all day or all night if someone else was interested in conversing on the subject). I know that about myself and I act accordingly. That self-awareness isn't something that I've always had. I had to learn it over time and much of it by way of other people's comments.

I've learned to suppress those urges to talk only about what interests me. I've learned to ask others in conversations about themselves. Often, not that I'm actually interested, but because I know that's a requisite for actual conversation. And sometimes I find that the other person's input is interesting.

Could self-awareness as I've described it or lack thereof be used as a means of correlating the severity of autism?
 
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Maybe. I'm PDD-NOS and I'm very aware of almost everything I say. If I do do a faux pas I immediately know afterwards, whether there's a reaction or not. I don't tend to info-dump, as I don't know much really, or talk excessively about a special subject, as I don't have a special interest. If I do get a little obsessed about something I don't really talk about it to others, only a little bit if I know it's relevant or what the other person might be interested in, but never excessively. I also instinctively know what to say and what not to say in regard to people's feelings. I can read the room pretty well and pick up on non-verbal social cues, etc.
Most of my social differences are caused by impulsivity and hyperactivity, not from being unaware or clueless.

The only things I can say unawares are so miniscule that it's not a faux pas or embarrassing or anything like that. One example is one time when I met a friend and during conversation about where we lived I asked her if she'd ever been to my hometown before. She said no, to which I replied, "I have", and as I went to describe my hometown a bit she interrupted laughing "what do you mean 'I have'? Of course you have, you live there!" I laughed too, as I didn't realise what I meant when I said "I have". It was funny lol.

Also I can worry or think too much about other people's feelings that it makes me impulsively blurt out something that can then put me into an awkward position.
Two examples:-

One time I was with my husband and his daughter at a restaurant. My husband had just inherited some money from his late mother, which helped us an awful lot, as we were financially struggling. His daughter often worried about our financial struggles, and so when my husband pulled my card out his wallet to pay for the meal his daughter started worrying again and asking why he was paying with my card and if he was struggling with money again (me and my husband had both agreed I'll pay for our meals that day as my treat). I wanted to reassure his daughter, so I said "don't worry about us, we have thousands". Judging my my husband's reaction by giving me a load of shushes, I suddenly realised it was inappropriate to say how much money you have (some sort of social taboo), but I only said it to console her, as I didn't want her worrying. We didn't actually have thousands.

Another example is at my old job. Person A was the supervisor but found the job too stressful and didn't want to have the supervisor position any more, and person B was the more bossy type and she really wanted the supervisor position. So one day when I arrived to work, person B happily told me that she was now the supervisor, and without thinking I yelled out "horray!" Person A took offense to this and walked away and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. She must have thought that I was cheering because I didn't like her as a supervisor, but it wasn't that at all. I was cheering because of feeling happy that they'd both got what they wanted and I was happy for them.

But I guess these sorts of miscommunications can happen to NTs too and aren't due to autism-related difficulties, but I am also impulsive which doesn't always help.
 
Recently I was thinking about Autism and Self-Awareness. I think that's the best term to describe what I'm about to write about.

Some of the challenges autistic people have to varying degrees that are considered characteristics of autism include: Theory of Mind and Non-Verbal/Social Communication, among others.

Some autistic people are aware of their traits related to communication and how those traits are not considered typical, "normal", socially acceptable, polite, etc. However other autistic people seem to have an additional challenge in being seemingly unaware of their challenges with communication related traits. This too seems to be on a spectrum of severity. The specific traits related to communication I refer to include:

"Info-dumping"
"Over-sharing"
Talking about their "special interests" at length without being asked or without the interests being related to the current topic.
Being unaware of the "give and take" required of a two-way conversation

^ I don't think the above can fully fall under Theory of Mind since that deals more with the assumption that others think the same way you do/ don't have an autonomous mind of their own.

I'm surprised that severity level of lack of Self-Awareness isn't something that's codified into the diagnostic process.

On a personal note based on my own experience as an autistic person: I'm fully aware that I'm prone to "info-dumping", "over-sharing", wanting to talk about my special interests (all day or all night if someone else was interested in conversing on the subject). I know that about myself and I act accordingly. That self-awareness isn't something that I've always had. I had to learn it over time and much of it by way of other people's comments.

I've learned to suppress those urges to talk only about what interests me. I've learned to ask others in conversations about themselves. Often, not that I'm actually interested, but because I know that's a requisite for actual conversation. And sometimes I find that the other person's input is interesting.

Could self-awareness as I've described it or lack thereof be used as a means of correlating the severity of autism?
I think it could be.

It can also be partially related to an upbringing that did not value a high self-discipline environment, the type of family that raised their voices within the home, never learned to discuss things in a calm, reasoned manner, the type of family who did not practice verbal or physical restraint. On the other hand, some of us (like myself) also grew up in highly-disciplined environments where this was the rule from day one, so even as a small child, we were molded in a way, to consider our behaviors, often at the threat of physical punishment. The basic premise here, that "nurture" not played a role in creating what kind of person we are, albeit not the only variable.

Any particular human being has different intelligences, aptitudes, things that seem to come naturally to them. So it is with the autistic brain, and despite our high neurodiversity within the community, there are core characteristics that make us all autistic. This is how we get diagnosed, after all. This "Theory of Mind" characteristic is certainly a common one, and I would suspect that not everyone has this issue, but common none-the-less. Personally, I am a highly self-disciplined person, but I also have "Theory of Mind" issues. I call it "mind blindness". When my mind is relaxed and going about my day-to-day activities, I do not think about people, literally, like at all. So, I am at risk for saying and doing things that others may interpret poorly. I do have the ability to think of others, and do, but it's a conscious effort, not a naturally-occurring, subconscious process. I compensate for this with my self-discipline, that pause which allows me to take in perspective and context, and if I don't know, which is very common, I will ask for clarification before answering. I cannot allow my quick wit get the better of me. This is something that has been learned over time and with practice.

Now, having said all that, in my case, I did not have as much self-awareness prior to my diagnosis. I went through most of my life unaware of myself, but to some extent was able to function relatively well due to self-discipline. Furthermore, when it comes to the socialization and communication deficits I have, again, I am more self-aware after my diagnosis, but despite this, any communication and socialization involves a rather restrained, self-conscious interaction. I have to force my reciprocity, for example.

Self-awareness, self-discipline, knowledge, intelligence, upbringing, personality traits, and of course, to what extent our neurodevelopment has been impacted appear to be contributing factors.
 
When I was a child, teen and young adult, I had serious issues with not understanding why people were upset with what I said.

Funnily enough, I have never pushed my obsessions onto others. However, if asked, then I tend to talk and talk about them.

I am guilty of oversharing and know this, when the recipient actually says: well, I did not really need to hear that, etc.

I am pretty good at self control and am very self aware.
 
Recently I was thinking about Autism and Self-Awareness. I think that's the best term to describe what I'm about to write about.

Some of the challenges autistic people have to varying degrees that are considered characteristics of autism include: Theory of Mind and Non-Verbal/Social Communication, among others.

Some autistic people are aware of their traits related to communication and how those traits are not considered typical, "normal", socially acceptable, polite, etc. However other autistic people seem to have an additional challenge in being seemingly unaware of their challenges with communication related traits. This too seems to be on a spectrum of severity. The specific traits related to communication I refer to include:

"Info-dumping"
"Over-sharing"
Talking about their "special interests" at length without being asked or without the interests being related to the current topic.
Being unaware of the "give and take" required of a two-way conversation

^ I don't think the above can fully fall under Theory of Mind since that deals more with the assumption that others think the same way you do/ don't have an autonomous mind of their own.

I'm surprised that severity level of lack of Self-Awareness isn't something that's codified into the diagnostic process.

On a personal note based on my own experience as an autistic person: I'm fully aware that I'm prone to "info-dumping", "over-sharing", wanting to talk about my special interests (all day or all night if someone else was interested in conversing on the subject). I know that about myself and I act accordingly. That self-awareness isn't something that I've always had. I had to learn it over time and much of it by way of other people's comments.

I've learned to suppress those urges to talk only about what interests me. I've learned to ask others in conversations about themselves. Often, not that I'm actually interested, but because I know that's a requisite for actual conversation. And sometimes I find that the other person's input is interesting.

Could self-awareness as I've described it or lack thereof be used as a means of correlating the severity of autism?
I do not like talking about self interests all the time and go the other way where I like talking about normal stuff but still sometimes things only autistics will understand like just random fun things without talking about interests and being a walking encyclopedia
I like being known just as Laura and having my fun quirky personality and talking about random topics only autistics understand sometimes. It can be complicated where I like certain things but when it becomes a trend really seriously I go off it.
Like the mario movie.
I do not know it is hard I like movies too but sometimes I hate it
I like talking about completely random things like what u would have on your desk and would you lick a car, 90s things, just fun topics. Like just some random thing.
Not always like painting, art techniques, books, dancing, music though I do like sharing music with people who get it.
 

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