When I helped out and ultimately became a sysop on a busy website, I always made a special effort to come across as sensible and professional as possible, I also went out of my way to help and treat members with a lot of respect which eventually turned around the entire reputation of the site that had been seriously damaged by previous staff actions, this gave me a very good reputation and I was generally well liked in the community overall. I surprisingly found dealing with people much easier than in real life because most of the time I didn't have to deal with them in real time. I found instant chat much more challenging, although even with this I improved and came a long way. In fact overall the site helped me greatly to understand and deal with people much better in general, something I didn't think would be possible. A "stupid" competitive side game bought out the worst in me however as I will explain...
We had noticed that members weren't using the
IRC (Internet Relay Chat) as much as in the past and we was looking for solutions. I was approached by a well known and respected member who had been developing a lighthearted, interactive and competitive IRC game himself, he was happy to let us use his game freely and in turn it would give him the opportunity to test, develop and add new content as we went along. I setup a new chat room especially for it, the new game was promoted, launched and it was quite popular at first. Unfortunately the game soon bought out the worst in me however because I quickly became over obsessive about it wanting to win, to the extent that I was even setting alarms to get out of bed on purpose to ensure commands were typed at certain times to gain the maximum advantage, but since there was also quite a bit of luck involved I would sometimes get really upset when the luck turned against me, often showing it by moaning almost like a child (I can even relate to how
John McEnroe must have felt during his various tantrums, please
click here to see an infamous one). In fact the game became as important, if not more important to me than helping with the rest of the site which I was also over obsessive and addicted to. I knew it was ridiculous and I really wanted to stop myself. I also knew that it would have been much better just to let other members win and on a few occasions I got so far ahead that the developer decided he had to change the dynamics of the game to stop me because it would cause other players to lose interest. I knew it was the right thing for him to do, but it still infuriated me, especially when just one change caused me to lose my lead dramatically after he'd effectively moved the goal posts so the decisions I made under the old game dynamics that helped me to get so far ahead were now punishing me severely. I made myself look stupid and very unprofessional. I couldn't help myself and I kept showing just how much the game bothered me by complaining about new dynamics that were specifically unfair to myself when I was winning, suddenly giving other people who hadn't earned it the advantage so they can catch up. This eventually started annoying the developer who was helping the site, allowing us to use his game for absolutely nothing and it caused friction. I felt really bad about it, embarrassed and tried so hard to stop myself, but in the end I decided it would be much better if I didn't play it at all. I then found that I was so addicted and obsessed by the game that I actually found this very difficult to walk away, I felt awful and really missed the game, it was like a genuine addiction and I had to keep telling myself that it was just a stupid game that honestly didn't matter. I knew that this must have been autism related and this made me want to override it even more.
So in summary, yes, in certain things of interest I can become obsessively competitive and if I'm not really careful it can bring out the worst in me. Generally I hate sport, but can anyone else become this obsessive over a game as silly as this, or any game or perhaps become such a bad sport over it?
Regarding people on the autistic spectrum not liking sports games in general, the following thread is relevant:
Why do so many aspies have an intense hatred for sports (excepting martial arts and brainy games)?
