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Aspies and Dry People


New Member
This just crossed my mind, as we got a new employee where I work, she has a very ‘dry’ personality and is very snappy with me when I say something random. Now, understand I work at a very busy salon and experience a lot of different personalities, but I’ve never quite met someone like her. The weird part is I was only working with her for 2 hours that day and only 30 minutes in she acted very defensive any time I tried to talk to her. She was very dismissive the entire 2 hours even in front of her clients. So I guess my question is what makes someone’s personality so dry and defensive? And is it going to be ok with me having Aspergers, not knowing what I say is SO RANDOM?
Can you ask her if something is wrong? That you sense she is defensive and you want to make sure you didn’t say something or do something to upset her?
If she stays all weird then I don’t know, mentally write her off as an unimportant irritant!
So I guess my question is what makes someone’s personality so dry and defensive? And is it going to be ok with me having Aspergers, not knowing what I say is SO RANDOM?

Some people are defensive because they are insecure or shy, or nervous. It seems to have little to do with you having asperger's, it's likely her personality. If you find her abrasive, it might simply be her way of dealing with people and her job. Try not to take it personally.
Are you saying she said, "That is SO RANDOM!!!"


Be glad she doesn't like you and ignore her? :rolleyes:
Two questions:

What does "dry" mean in terms of personality? I've heard that term before but I dont think I've heard the actual definition.

But also what sorts of statements are being defined as "random" here?

That all being said, I can understand the frustrations of a "personality clash" like that. I often get people being irritated with me because I'm both really negative and really sarcastic. Or as someone I know put it, "you're basically Garfield".

And yeah, people getting snappy at me for any of that gets old fast. But what can ya do?
I've heard the term too, but, never knew if I understood what it means.
Dry sense of humor for example.
So sarcastically I could ask, what is a wet personality? :sweatsmile:

Maybe she is a grouchy person that doesn't want to hear anything that is fun? :lemon:
On the spectrum herself ? Anxious person? Experiencing a whole heap of troubles in her home life - making her guarded? :)
There could be many reasons why; on that day at that time, she acted how she did.
You’ll never know any of them for sure until she’s ready to tell you.

I can’t see why it wouldn’t be okay for you to be you :)

New salon, new colleagues, new routine, new clients. Some find it easier than others to be the newbie.
I would venture to say that it is her personality, rather than something you have said wrong and the reason is be she was the same in front of her clients, which denotes a very unsteady personality.

Interesting your rendering "dry" as a personality trait. I wondered what on earth that meant, which was great, because it made me curious to pop in a read lol

Just another thought. It could be related to something going on with her life, that makes her have a short fuse and when working with someone who is random in what they say, it will have a negative impact.

Ahh, how wonderful it would be, if we could see the issue within our own lives!
Hairdressers can be a temperamental lot, you will find aloof, gossipy, backstabbing employees in this line of work. You need to step back with this one, ask around, maybe she is going through divorce, abusive SO, medical problems, ex. Good luck.
I met a person like that as well. She was really defensive about anything I said at all, taking to herself the smallest remark or joke. She also hated not being treated with respect and got really angry if she wasn't listened to or when things went not as she wanted them to. I remember being told many times about 'how I have an attitude and need to change it' or just being answered with sarcasm.

She was my supervisor, so I made sure to backpedal - as in, do what she tells me, listen to her 'advice', never question her about anything, never complain at her. I didn't want an enemy, after all. Step back, keep distance, in a way. Still, I'm a rather friendly person at work and joke a lot, so the biggest thing was to always greet her politely and with a smile. To show that I'm not a danger to her position in any way. In the end, she warmed up to me in time and we got rather friendly with each other. Not 'best buddies, let's go somewhere after work!' friendly for sure, but the atmosphere at work got definitely better.

Random things are for example small observations you make during the day or things that are not connected to what is happening or what you are talking about. So, all the things that for others 'came from nowhere'. I'm not really sure what kind of an advice I could give you about it, sorry. Probably to keep your observations to yourself?
Some people are jerks until you get to know them and earn their trust. Then again, some people are just jerks no matter what.
I talk with little inflection, almost monotone when I am being sarcastic... It's hard for people to pickup on whether I am being sarcastic or just a dick.

Anyways I would ask her what's up, but that's just me.
All the guessing won't really get you at the truth but there are plenty of good possibilities mentioned here. I too showed up to find out what a 'dry' person is and wondered what a wet personality would be. I don't know if it is 'going to be okay' because that is unpredictable but I would suggest that you just continue to be yourself and if she can't interact with you appropriately minimise your contact with her. Be kind but brief. Smile and say hi and leave it at that. If you have to ask something work related just don't expect friendliness from her, accept her as she is and don't get too close.
It can be many reasons.
I'll say the one who came to my mind, have no idea why, but I will say it for the sake of exercising spontaneity in my communication:
Maybe she is pregnant? Hormones can give you a hard time.
But I wouldn't know. I was never pregnant.
By random comments, you mean you just say what comes into your mind whether it is relevant to the task at hand or not?
Maybe since she is new, she is trying to focus on doing a good job and not get fired. You may be distracting her. Try being quiet.
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