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Aspie women that prefer the company of men?

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Freakunique, Oct 29, 2019.

  1. Freakunique

    Freakunique New Member

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    Hey everyone, hope you're well.
    I just am wondering if this is an Aspie thing or just me.
    My whole life I have always felt more relaxed and less anxiousthe company of men
    The number of male friends I have/had really outweighs the female ones.
    It's not that I don't get on with women, I yearn for female friends, ihave had a few female best friends but I always find them complicated. I find I feel more awkward and nervous around women.
    Anyone else?
     
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  2. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I've always been a tomboy. My interests align more with men than women, so I tend to have more male friendships.
     
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  3. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think if you do a search you may find this idea has come up several times, so it would not seem a feature unique to you but shared.

    I do wonder what NT women might think in comparison. In other words do more ASD women tend to gravitate towards men friends then NT women.

    I can't add personnel experience for obvious reasons but will say as an aside, I have always noted in myself a gravitation towards tomboys. I kind of like when sexual overtones aren't involved in casual/work/recreation settings and also maybe feel more comfortable they may think along similar lines. Conversely, although I am thoroughly hetero, feminine-like men don't make me feel uncomfortable either, and I often find myself gravitating towards them in friendship. Not sure but think empathy plays a part in that.
     
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  4. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I've always preferred male friends over female friends. I was a real tomboy as a kid and a teenager. These last years I've started making more female friends, which I think has to do with the fact that I'm more comfortable in my skin and I've grown more comfortable with emotions and expressing them, whereas before I liked hanging out with men because we didn't have to talk about that stuff. I still have a few male friends, but the ratio of female to male is bigger now, for the first time in my life.
    I also lost a lot of male friends because they wanted to have sex with me and turned out not to be interested in friendship if sex was off the table.
     
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  5. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    I don’t dislike every man on the planet but!what I’ve experienced changes what I feel about men and equally I don’t love every woman on the planet,I dislike the negativity from both sides that is evident when they get into a group of more than one (men are cruel in a different way compared to women) it is probably an autistic trait but I describe it differently.
     
  6. Freakunique

    Freakunique New Member

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    Thanks for your responses everyone, really interested to hear others experiences!
     
  7. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    thanks for thanking me ,I often feel like I am evil incarnate from the response I get on social media which includes this forum
     
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  8. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well Known Chat Member, Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)
     
  9. Baeraad

    Baeraad Well-Known Member

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    I'm the opposite. I'm an autistic man who prefers the company of women.

    I think because women are more willing to put into words how they're feeling. Men more just expect you to guess. I'm not very good at guessing.
     
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  10. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    It's quite a common theme amongst autistics that we often prefer the company of other genders than our own when mixing with NTs. Sometimes it extends to others on the spectrum too.
    I've seen plenty of theories about it over the years, but the one that seems most plausible to me is that we commonly feel a disconnect with the stereotypical expectations of our birth sex and see commonalities with others. The proportion of enbee (non-binary) and agendered people in the autistic population is notably higher than in the non-autistic as a consequence of the same phenomenon.
    I was born as and identify as male, however I not only don't share, but positively despise many of the expectations my gender places upon me. I could be said to have a strong "feminine side" and I mix better with women than men as a rule.
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2019
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  11. OrangeSquash

    OrangeSquash Active Member

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    I am male, but all of my close friends are female.

    This was noted in my assessment and more recently the follow-up meeting... Generally speaking, I find social interactions with females much easier - it feels like there is less competition and more deep conversation than interactions with males. Its very common, and it kind-of makes sense.
     
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  12. dragonfire42

    dragonfire42 Perpetual outsider

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    I don't know why, but it turns out that the only people I (a female) have formed really close friendships with are male.
     
  13. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    And wolves.:p
     
  14. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I probably do have more male friends than women, but it depends on the person. Some women are complex and driven by emotions which I find hard to navigate or it's just not my style, but so are some men. Some guys act all macho and don't have much conversation beyond sports/football, and it there's one thing that is guaranteed to set me on edge is this acting macho thing... or some set culture-specific ideas and stereotypes that men have around women. I often come into conflict with men because of these. I hate being assigned a gender role, or people making assumptions about me based on gender, withouth taking into account my personailty, preferences and abilities.

    What I look for in people is interesting, in-depth conversations, or similar interests and outlooks on life, and that can come from either women or men.
     
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