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AspiAngie's Introduction to the Autism Forums

AspiAngie

self-diagnosed Autistic
V.I.P Member
I just realized I never actually made an introduction thread for myself. I posted in the generic introduce yourself thread and posted something on my profile, but as for my own introduction thread I never did. So I am now.

About me:
I am Angie and live in Canada. I am just about 50.

I was born as a sick child with a kidney disease, so anything off about me functionally was just seen as part of that. It wasn't until a fellow kidney patient who works with autistic adults asked if I was autistic that I started to look into it. Normally I do not run to look up everything someone asks me if I have, but in this case I wondered because I always felt I was different somehow.

For a couple of decades now I thought I was different because perhaps my disease or my upbringing or my parents or abusive kids as school growing up or being the only girl with brothers or a combination of all of those to certain degrees. It had never occurred to me that it could be something completely different! Until a few months ago.

I had thought of Autistic people as those I see in Church flapping their ears or covering their ears up when music starts or talking suddenly in a loud voice, seemingly unaware of the need to be quiet and talk in a hushed tone in certain situations. I had some idea that there was some sort of degree system. A sort of spectrum. But I never really looked into it, as it never really pertained to me directly. At least that is what I thought. I had no reason to look more into Autism as my focus was always on Kidney Disease and Depression and Dyslexia and keeping my kidney site free from spammers and a manipulator who was later caught by the FBI (ya long story I won't get into but had very little to do with me but targeted the sick and vulnerable).

When I started researching Autism in Adults, I realized that there were a LOT of things about me that were very much like those I watched in videos. I also took a couple online Autism Quizzes to see if I was Autistic. I learned that those sites could not diagnose you but give you an idea if you might be and should pursue a diagnosis.

So I am currently waiting for my family doctor to get a psychiatrist for me, as the one I had for my depression moved his practice up north, suddenly leaving me without one. According to online tests, I am most likely high on the functioning side of the autism spectrum. I am anti-social, mask a lot with family, and don't mind being all alone with my computer. I am good with computers and figuring things out and work on my parents computers when I have the time. My parents have been separated for a long time, but I am on good terms with both of them separately. My brothers do not necessarily understand me, but they love me. I grew up with my parents focused on my health and not expecting much out of me. I had no friends, did terrible in school but excellent in art. An art teacher suggested my mom put me into an art school, but she said no, that she would not "reward" me with "drawing" when my grades were so bad. I use a browser plugin to help me type and spell correctly, and that helps a lot with my dyslexia. I can understand code better than I can understand, read and write English, even though it is my native tongue. Code just makes more logical sense to me as it does not break its own rules and there is no need for proper grammar in code. I love computers. I understand them. I find people, however, hard to understand. I have lost friends who were frustrated at me, not realizing that I upset them. One particular friend said that I must not care if I don't even know how I hurt him.

I have always been the odd one. The black sheep. The outcast. I mask a lot to appear normal, but really I am not. However, I finally accept myself. I think that just comes with age.

When I have taken tests, they differ from time to time. I took one on May 21st, 2023 and this was the result.

poly10a.php

It seems I am improving on how I interact with others. Yay!
 
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Congratulations! I think we all improve with age, like a fine wine. I am certainly not the mess I was much, much earlier in life. I hope you are able to secure a psychiatrist whom you are comfortable talking to about your life and your perceptions of same.
 
Congratulations! I think we all improve with age, like a fine wine. I am certainly not the mess I was much, much earlier in life. I hope you are able to secure a psychiatrist whom you are comfortable talking to about your life and your perceptions of same.
Thank you. I hope so as well. I should call my family doctor and ask what the progress on finding one is. But sadly I have been focused more on my uncle who is dying of cancer after beating it for a few months. My mom was crying today and I know that my diagnosis won't change anything for me, but I do want to eventually have the confirmation. I always like things to be confirmed, since I always doubt myself to some extent. It is at times like this when I have to be strong and I find forums like this help me to have a release while being able to stay strong for family.
 
Welcome.

Anti social can be understood as this:


For people who would like having nice social skills and friends we usually choose to say that we "lack" social skills or that we have "bad" social skills.

Also, be patient with your asigned psychiatrist. Chances are they will not be an autist expert and may evaluate you saying things like: "You cant be autistic because you are a woman" , "You cant be autistic because you look to eye" or "If you can work and have some friends you cant be autistic".

You could also been ofered pills or "trestments" to cure autism... There is a strong lack of autism knowledge by many profesionals that doesnt stop them from diagnosing or giving meds.

So I hope you will be given a good one, and in case of doub, you can ask here or self learn about autism. There is a very good book section in this forum.
 
Hi and Welcome @AspiAngie

Do make yourself at home in here and get to know us. There is a lot that can be gathered from the experience of other people in these Fora.
 
I'm glad you've found acceptance, and I hope you can continue, whether here or elsewhere, to connect with those who accept you for who you are.
 
Welcome! It’s been nice having you here. Cool that you took the time for a more formal and elaborate introduction. I am so glad you have found us!
 
Thank you. I will try to be patient with what ever psychiatrist I get. I have had some not so great ones already for my depression. The one I had that was good suddenly moved up north and did not tell the patients he was only seeing annually and were stable. Still it was a shock. Then the next one said I didn't even need to be on my medication for depression and it was the first time he ever met me. That upset me. He refused to keep seeing me so that is why I am without on for the time being.

Welcome.

Anti social can be understood as this:


For people who would like having nice social skills and friends we usually choose to say that we "lack" social skills or that we have "bad" social skills.

Also, be patient with your asigned psychiatrist. Chances are they will not be an autist expert and may evaluate you saying things like: "You cant be autistic because you are a woman" , "You cant be autistic because you look to eye" or "If you can work and have some friends you cant be autistic".

You could also been ofered pills or "trestments" to cure autism... There is a strong lack of autism knowledge by many profesionals that doesnt stop them from diagnosing or giving meds.

So I hope you will be given a good one, and in case of doub, you can ask here or self learn about autism. There is a very good book section in this forum.
 
Welcome! It’s been nice having you here. Cool that you took the time for a more formal and elaborate introduction. I am so glad you have found us!
I used to administrate medical forums for a decade and am very familiar with forum formats but then Facebook came down and I shut my site down due to lack of funds. But yes I guess I tend to be rigid and like to do things right as long as I understand them and why.:)
 

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