Aspergers and Social Phobias (Seeking Advice)

[CBrown1299]

My name is Christian, I am an Aspie, and I suffer from some pretty severe social anxiety. I am looking to seek out the help that I need in order to control my nervous tendencies, so as to make myself a better, more well-adjusted member of society....

 

[Harrison]

Welcome Christian, you will find aspies of many flavours here that will be only too happy to lend a hand.

Enjoy your stay.

 

[Spiller]

I am looking to seek out the help that I need in order to control my nervous tendencies, so as to make myself a better, more well-adjusted member of society

Hi Christian, spend a little time here and you'll see that you fit right in.
I also suffer with Social Anxiety and this workbook Amazon.co.uk: rob kelly thrive helped me considerably.. look at the resource section for more stuff too.
Though really for me, it's been about realising that where I've spent my life being terrified of social blunders and believing in the inevitable humiliation and negative opinions of others, turns out that said others feel the same! But said others, being NT's, move on and enjoy the next encounter, so that's what I have to learn to do too. Can you imagine that, learning to enjoy socialising?
I think my feelings stem from being bullied/ostracised for being different at school, though, while recognising the source of the problem's fine, ya gotta just keep going out there!
(Said the alien who spent 10 years as a virtual hermit )

 

[AsheSkyler]

I take up amateur acting. When it's somebody else those people are talking to, I kind of like it. If they're talking to me and not the persona I'm presenting, I freak. Long, complicated circumstances to make that distinction.

 

[alien girl]

I was afraid to order a hamburger at mcdonalds because i was afraid i wouldnt understand what the cashier said. i did it anyway and even worked with people as a cashier.

the thing is to do it one step at a time. go with someone to the place you're afraid to go to and have the other person do the talking, then go with him again and do some of the talking, next time more...

not me. i just went in the restaurant and ordered a hamburger and got over it.

 

[Sander]

If you really have a lot of trouble (anxiety), A psychiatrist can recommend you medication which will greatly reduce the anxiety.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Hi Christian, welcome to AC! I have a lot of social anxiety as well. I can only 'get over it' for limited periods of time at work (as a cashier part time) - i script with customers and don't really engage in conversation unless they do first. I'm not good with social cues, especially under pressure at work. I do better one on one, less pressure, less to process. I find that if i am in a role, like as a cashier, or as a babysitter, i can get over the nervousness and anxiety easier cause there's some distance in a role. Its more of a performance, so to say, than legit real conversation with a friend or acquaintance.

If i'm out and about for some reason, i just tell myself i'll probably never see this person i'm talking to again so embarrasing myself in front of them is fine. I try to dress my best so i feel confident and remind myself that i've done well at my job and got compliments there so i can do well in this couple minute long transaction ordering food, getting groceries, or whatnot as well.

 

[Progster]

I was diagnosed with Social Phobia back in the days of the DSM III and an AS diagnosis didn't yet exist. My greatest issue has always been fear of rejection, and the anxiety that come from not being able to read people so I don't know what they are thinking and feeling, I don't know where I stand with people then I think that they don't like me. I've got over this to al large extent now, I no longer worry so much about rejection and I accept that I can't read people's minds and that I'm not very good at reading people. I think that if the person can't accept me as I am and rejects me, they they aren't worth knowing in the first place. I still have difficulty with meeting new people, suddenly being faced with a new person and being expected to talk to them can cause me to panic. I think that most aspies have social anxiety to some extent, it goes with the territory.

 

[Christophe]

Careful with the anxiety meds... Most are extremely addictive and very difficult to stop taking. They do help but for short periods. In the long run you have to slowly get used to being social... I'm not there yet. But I'm off the meds (finally!!!)

 

[Suzanne]

I suffer chronic social phobia and only feel "safe" when wearing dark glasses and whilst in my birth country, I managed to cope, but it is a WHOLE different ball game now, since moving to France, where I am mentally crippled

I HATE the thought of being looked at and go into surreal mode when I have to pass people! I cannot shake this sense of unreality when walking on my own, even if it is to our bins and feel so demoralised!

This year, I took courage and went back to the UK on my own, but still could not visit shops on the ferry and on the way back, despite my tummy hurting, with the need to eat, I could not, for the life of me, open up my cabin door and go and eat. Instead, curled up and cried myself to sleep with utter shame.

I will always be this way, I am trying to face it. But that is not the same for everyone, for I know some who have got passed it and one, is a very good friend of mine!

The first step, I guess is to find out, why you are afraid of people? And go from there.

 

[On the Inside]

I take up amateur acting. When it's somebody else those people are talking to, I kind of like it. If they're talking to me and not the persona I'm presenting, I freak. Long, complicated circumstances to make that distinction.

I think I've done this a lot before being diagnosed, and it caused me to get into a lot of situations where people thought I was someone completely different from who I am. Oftentimes it involved drinking or pot. I was just trying to fit in, but I really lost myself in the process.

I think most people go through this, but probably learn to accept themselves and feel they have value as themselves and that develops confidence in social situations. Probably happens in late teens to mid twenties.

I

 

[Suzanne]

I take up amateur acting. When it's somebody else those people are talking to, I kind of like it. If they're talking to me and not the persona I'm presenting, I freak. Long, complicated circumstances to make that distinction.

And me too picking up on your amazing comment lol I recently discovered that I LOVE acting and for the EXACT reason you state! Someone I know even said that she thinks I should have been an actress lol It feels so good not being ME!