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Asking for permission

Drakanav

Drakanav

Bird Fanatic
Do any of you have to ask for permission for things you know you have permission for?
I constantly ask my mom and dad if I can use the restroom. Even though I know I don't have to ask, I still do. Heck, even at 3am I ask them.

Or even if I wanted to hug them, they say I don't have to ask. But what if they don't want the hug at that moment?
 
No, not really.

I would hug them. If they like hugs, it’ll be nice for them to receive on a bad day. Just go up gently and put your arm around them until a full hug happens.
 
All the time. People get mad and tell me it's annoying but I can't help it. Although I always thought that it was just a byproduct of my childhood.
 
I never really thought about it, but yes I do. When I visit my parents for instance I ask before I eat anything that I know I have permission for, E.g. I will ask for a packet of crisps, I will be told "of course" and sometimes "you don't need to ask" (to be fair it's polite to ask the first time), but then I will take a packet and will show my Mum asking permission a 2nd time before I eat them. My "friend" gets annoyed by me asking permission all the time as he does with a few of my aspie traits, sometimes he will even say "no" on purpose to make a point that I shouldn't have asked for something that I should just know I have permission for in the first place and of course this makes me worse.
 
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pjcnet said:
sometimes he will even say "no" on purpose to make a point that I shouldn't had asked for something that I should just know I have permission for and of course this makes me worse.
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I have this happen a lot now that I think about it .
 
pjcnet said:
When I visit my parents for instance I ask before I eat anything that I know I have permission for, E.g. I will ask for a packet of crisps, I will be told "of course" (to be fair it's polite to ask the first time)
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Actually, now you’ve said this, I do ask for permission in this area. I never visit them anymore, but when I did, I always asked if I could have whatever is in their biscuit/cake boxes. For me, I felt very unwelcome there. My stepmother didn’t like opening new packets until the opened ones were eaten first. I hate her. One time, I opened something and rebelled then sat down with dad and had a cup of tea. No one noticed until later, I think. Lol. She didn’t know it was me.
 
Yes, I do tend to do the same thing.

My husband would ever say no to a hug, but I very rarely just go and hug!

It also took some courage to text someone I know, who doesn't live that far from me, to alert them that I am on my own, as at the time the weather was rather scary looking and with my husband at work, I felt that at least if someone knew, they could pop in and see if I was ok or even pick me up.

The reason I hesitate, is because I do not wish to put people in an awkward position. It keeps going through my mind that what do they care if I am on my own and that I am putting a responsibility on to their shoulders, when really I should take care of myself.

But common sense prevailed and did it, in case electricity went out and it would be too late. As it is, happily what ever was going on with the weather, it has not got any worse but cleared of the very scarly sepia look.
 
I used to ask for permission to do anything more than breathe; now I just do it when it's polite. It serves as a sort of boundary-check, when the line between okay and not okay is a little hazy. The permission of the other interested party in the situation can make that line much more clear, regardless of whether the inevitable "yes" is sincere, ambivalent, or begrudging.
 
Drakanav said:
Do any of you have to ask for permission for things you know you have permission for?
I constantly ask my mom and dad if I can use the restroom. Even though I know I don't have to ask, I still do. Heck, even at 3am I ask them.

Or even if I wanted to hug them, they say I don't have to ask. But what if they don't want the hug at that moment?
Click to expand...
I read somewhere that Aspies tend to do this because it gives us a greater sense of control and/or reassurance. I do ask permission quite a bit - not over and over for the same things, but basically for me, I have felt so burned in the past for being considered rude/inconsiderate/inappropriate in the past without even realizing I was doing anything wrong, so I am extra cautious now. It may seem silly to others, but in those other situations, I was totally blindsided with disapproval.
 
I ask for permission a lot more often than most people. I mostly do this because I'm afraid of overstepping my boundaries. I always ask my boyfriend (with whom I share a flat) whether he minds if I put on some music, knowing fully that he doesn't mind. I know I mind music at the wrong time, and don't want to be inconsiderate, which is why I will never stop asking. Same with asking friends if they mind if I join them whenever I meet them at a bar. I know they invited me over with the purpose of meeting, I just want to make sure I don't disturb a private conversation or take someone else's seat.
 
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