ASD and following instructions

[harrietjansson]

I have noticed that most people with ASD are really bad at following instructions. They rather want to do something in there own way. Sure they want help but the teacher or guide have to meet them were they are. Some do not bother to take private lessons in eg music just because they want to do thing their own way. Some do take private lessons and suceed but most people (like me) need to do things their own way and having the teacher accept that. Sure they will need a guide/teacher but only one who let them be who they really are (which sometimes never happpens). What do you think this is all about?

 

[Bolletje]

I don’t have any trouble following instructions.

 

[Trophonius]

Not sure to what extent applies to me. I think is better to do what your tutor says, because it's usually the easier way to do it.

Most teachers won't care how you do something as long as you do it properly. However, if you fail to do something your way, it's natural the teacher will insist you do it "their" way.

It is also the case that the very own way for a person to do a thing may be inappropriate or cause future problems. This is often the case with some musical instruments — a faulty technique may not be a problem to the level the student is playing, but it will deprive him to performing more advanced techniques.

 

[Aspychata]

There are self-taught people. My father studied engineering, a four-year school he did in 3 years. Then there are people like me who need to do it the instructor's way. If you want to do something your way, then skip the instructor. But you also may not beable to cover all the fine areas that a instructor can walk you thru. Don't get into a power struggle with your instructor. Everything is temporary in life, at some point, you don't need that instructor anymore.

 

[the_tortoise]

I am bad at following directions, especially verbal ones, not because I just want to do everything my own way but because I don’t understand what people are saying, and it is hard to remember the steps and what order they go in.

That said, I often need to do things a different way to normal or else I cannot do them at all because my brain/body work differently and I cannot figure out or successfully achieve the normal way.

Sometimes I might want (instead of need) to do things my own way, too, because my way is easier for me even if I can also do them the “normal” way.

There is nothing wrong with wanting or needing to do things differently; what is “easy” versus “hard” is different for each person.

Ironically when I choose the easy way or only possible way for me, I am sometimes told I am doing it the “hard way”....people just don’t understand not everybody is the same!

 

[harrietjansson]

Shouldn't the instructor let the student be the guide and help the student from there?
I think they call it taking responsibility for your own learning. Why would a certain method help me? Wouldn't the greatest method be guiding me from where I am rather than asking me to follow an instructor? This is why I hate a lot of instructions! They are simply asking me to do it their way rather than mine.

 

[harrietjansson]

Ironically when I choose the easy way or only possible way for me, I am sometimes told I am doing it the “hard way”....people just don’t understand not everybody is the same!

Exactly! They think I am doing it the "weied" way when in fact I just cannot do too much at the same time eg like learning five dance steps at the same time

 

[Bolletje]

I work in healthcare where it’s very important to follow instructions and protocols, otherwise you can get people killed. So I listen and do what I’m told.

 

[harrietjansson]

I work in healthcare where it’s very important to follow instructions and protocols, otherwise you can get people killed. So I listen and do what I’m told.

But did you really learn that way?
Did you not leatn by figuring out things by yourself?
I'm not saying that you just figured out a certain thing didn't work as the person died. Not that kind. I am talking about situation in which it is ok to experiment on your own.
I am talking about being a curious child.
I never learn by following methods. I want to experiment and try out things myself but with an instructor who helps me do this.
Is this an aspie thing? They say that we are scientists.

 

[harrietjansson]

Most teachers won't care how you do something as long as you do it properly.

Have you ever met a music teacher!??
They are not always too understanding?
Some are great but most suck I tell you.

 

[Bolletje]

But did you really learn that way?
Did you not leatn by figuring out things by yourself?
I'm not saying that you just figured out a certain thing didn't work as the person died. Not that kind. I am talking about situation in which it is ok to experiment on your own.
I am talking about being a curious child.
I never learn by following methods. I want to experiment and try out things myself but with an instructor who helps me do this.
Is this an aspie thing? They say that we are scientists.

I don’t think it’s necessarily an Aspie thing, I think it comes down to personality. I was a curious child as well, but I searched for information in books and by asking people who were more informed on the topics I was interested in.
I learned how to be a doctor by studying theory, listening to my professors and listening to the medical specialists during my internships. Patient care is not an area where you want to experiment with doing things differently.

 

[Bolletje]

Have you ever met a music teacher!??
They are not always too understanding?
Some are great but most suck I tell you.

All of my music teachers were very pleasant people who taught me well. I get the sense that you have a negative opinion of teachers overall. Seems like a bit of a sweeping generalization to me.

 

[harrietjansson]

All of my music teachers were very pleasant people who taught me well. I get the sense that you have a negative opinion of teachers overall. Seems like a bit of a sweeping generalization to me.

Actually, many teachers I have met did really try to kill curiosity. Some teachers were good but most wanted to kill curiuosity.
Music education is just about trying to play from a written score. I want to experiment. I wanna be like a guy who is learning a language. Some say "curiuosity killed the cat" but I say "the teacher killed curiousity"!
Yes, I am negative but I do have the solutions. Teachers need to meet the students were they are. Most don't.
I think the asperger thing is: most aspies need to figure out things on their own. It is hard for me to just repeat things eg an exercise or something on a sheet music. I want to experiment. Learning by too much focus on repetition has been said to be problematic for aspies. So yes I need to complain. But I am not saying I was a good student who accepted that I needed this.

What do you think?

 

[Bolletje]

I think the asperger thing is: most aspies need to figure out things on their own. It is hard for me to just repeat things eg an exercise or something on a sheet music. I want to experiment.

That this holds true for you doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true for most Aspies though.

 

[Judge]

This sort of thing has been discussed before. I know I have mentioned the difference between those Aspies who thrive on the simplicity of a rigid and orderly situation versus an environment where individual achievement might also be their best option.

Some do poorly in having to follow orders while others thrive on it. That's all. Considerations that perhaps count the most for those of you giving any thought to serving in your nation's armed services.

Where working and living on a 24/7 basis in such an environment that admittedly is not for just anyone...

 

[Peter Morrison]

I'm a rule follower by nature. Being on the spectrum, I was never sure if I understood the instructions. Errors in communication make you fearful that you can't do things properly. Alternative, self-made methods are a form of survival. If the subject is interesting, you will do more than is expected. My creative side likes freedom. Everyone learns by doing, and errors are a part of that process. Ingenuity is born of experimentation and risk. The kid who follows instructions will get an "A". The other kids will learn how to think on their own and improvise. If you want an "A", follow the instructions.

 

[Crossbreed]

The kid who follows instructions will get an "A". The other kids will learn how to think on their own and improvise. If you want an "A", follow the instructions.

My operating philosophy in school was to forget about the grades and make sure that I understood the material. Mostly A's would follow. I would get B's & C's if I didn't correctly understand the material the first time through, but subsequent corrections would stick. (I did not beat myself up over the occasional B or C.)

 

[Rasputin]

This may not fit in this discussion, but at times I have difficulty following even the simplest instructions when they are not communicated well.

For example, this happened this morning going through a car wash. I was having difficulty getting the car transmission into neutral, while the attendant was first telling at me to take my foot off the brakes, and then yelling at me to put my foot on the brakes. He was not listening to me, and that evoked an angry response from me which I can not repeat.

 

[Trophonius]

Have you ever met a music teacher!??
They are not always too understanding?
Some are great but most suck I tell you.

I agree in the case of music teachers, and I addressed that case at the end of my message. In this case, they have good reasons, because with musical instruments simply "doing it" it's not good enough, because bad technique will prevent you from advancing later on since more advanced techniques can't be performed with a faulty basic technique.

Good teachers should be able to tell you why they want you to do it in a certain way, and why your way of doing it is inappropriate.

 

[Pats]

I've always done better learning things on my own. My older sister took typing in high school then I got her book and taught myself. I do a lot of crafts but never follow instructions or patterns - cant. So I figure out how to do the basics and do my own thing. I crochet a lot, do not know how to follow a pattern. I just seen something on Pinterest that caught my interest so I took the idea and did my own thing with it (99% of the time I'm happy with the outcome.) And putting things together I look at the box, what it's supposed to look like and make whatever it is look like the picture on the box. (I used to have a newspaper clipping cut out that said "If at first you don't succeed, try reading directions). lol