Are there are any introverts here who have been told they were just faking it/seeking attention when you open up about it?

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

Note: I’m only discussing this issue based on online discussion, because you don’t hear a lot about it in public.

Unfortunately this has happened to me (not directly though, but you get what I mean). As a modern young adult in today’s generation who identifies as an introvert, it’s sad how whenever I get the opportunity to open up about it, I get told I’m obviously not and I’m just faking it. They think I see it as a trend or a “cool”/“cute” thing to act self-deprecating. But that’s not the case. It’s also ageist to discriminate and exclude younger generations of introverts because of the belief that introversion is more common in older people.

For my generation and the one after, it’s become much harder for us to sincerely open up about our introversion without having to deal with accusations of attention-seeking behavior and faking it. They believe we must think we’re special because of what we identify, but in reality we don’t see anything special about that (at least I don’t). I’m starting to believe that older generations of introverts believe we younger folks are just making a trend out of it due to the fact that we have social media platforms and therefore we have more opportunities to be more open about our personal lives that the older generations never got.

I personally am tired of the belief people make about how introverts are SUPPOSED to behave. For example, they think REAL introverts don’t open up about their introversion, yet in reality, it only applies to SOME introverts. This also applies to those in the introversion community, as some of us believe that just because we feel a certain way, then it must mean that we all should act a certain way to be an introvert, otherwise we’re just faking it and following internet trends to seek attention. And this is coming from the same people who do the SAME THING.

My point is that there is no one way to behave as an introvert. We introverts have many different ways of expressing ourselves and coping with our surroundings. Just because some people will behave a certain way doesn’t define how all introverts behave. It’s sad knowing that introversion is strongly stereotyped even within our own community that it shames the kids of today from opening up. The so-called justification of criticizing today’s generation of “fake” introverts does nothing but silence us.

No one should stop us from having a discussion about our problems. This is our voice, our experience. Let us have that opportunity while we still can.

 

[Cryptid]

Often 'ghosts' people who claim my health problems are 'fake' or 'exaggerated'. Asthma is not fake. Food and medicine allergies are not fake. It is not an exaggeration to say that certain foods and medicines could kill me.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

Often 'ghosts' people who claim my health problems are 'fake' or 'exaggerated'. Asthma is not fake. Food and medicine allergies are not fake. It is not an exaggeration to say that certain foods and medicines could kill me.

Of course. That’s the same issue with people who assume kids today who claim to be introverted are just following trends. It gets very annoying.

 

[Jumpinbare]

People have so little to do that they persecute others for claiming to be introverted? Simple observation would be more instructional

 

[Judge]

The irony of it all. It's an oxymoron to assume one is using introversion only to get attention. Real introverts are not cool to the "in-crowd". In fact to them, we simply don't exist. And perhaps most of all, that we often go out of our way to avoid that very attention that trends are supposed to draw. That for the most part, we keep to ourselves and if or when we open up to others, it usually involves a very small social circle.

Though personally I don't see this as being so much about introverts, let alone anyone who would want to pretend to be as such. That more likely it reflects social values and veiled prejudices of those who despise much of anyone who don't fit some kind of "cookie-cutter" concept of normalcy.

Often a hostile, even dangerous perspective of most any social majority.

 

[Fino]

Just don't open up about anything to anyone who responds in that way.

 

[Au Naturel]

Note: I’m only discussing this issue based on online discussion, because you don’t hear a lot about it in public.

Unfortunately this has happened to me (not directly though, but you get what I mean). As a modern young adult in today’s generation who identifies as an introvert, it’s sad how whenever I get the opportunity to open up about it, I get told I’m obviously not and I’m just faking it. They think I see it as a trend or a “cool”/“cute” thing to act self-deprecating. But that’s not the case. It’s also ageist to discriminate and exclude younger generations of introverts because of the belief that introversion is more common in older people.

For my generation and the one after, it’s become much harder for us to sincerely open up about our introversion without having to deal with accusations of attention-seeking behavior and faking it. They believe we must think we’re special because of what we identify, but in reality we don’t see anything special about that (at least I don’t). I’m starting to believe that older generations of introverts believe we younger folks are just making a trend out of it due to the fact that we have social media platforms and therefore we have more opportunities to be more open about our personal lives that the older generations never got.

I personally am tired of the belief people make about how introverts are SUPPOSED to behave. For example, they think REAL introverts don’t open up about their introversion, yet in reality, it only applies to SOME introverts. This also applies to those in the introversion community, as some of us believe that just because we feel a certain way, then it must mean that we all should act a certain way to be an introvert, otherwise we’re just faking it and following internet trends to seek attention. And this is coming from the same people who do the SAME THING.

My point is that there is no one way to behave as an introvert. We introverts have many different ways of expressing ourselves and coping with our surroundings. Just because some people will behave a certain way doesn’t define how all introverts behave. It’s sad knowing that introversion is strongly stereotyped even within our own community that it shames the kids of today from opening up. The so-called justification of criticizing today’s generation of “fake” introverts does nothing but silence us.

No one should stop us from having a discussion about our problems. This is our voice, our experience. Let us have that opportunity while we still can.

I am a distinct introvert, but when the Sun, Moon, and stars line up, I can be quite outgoing. People think that makes me an extrovert, but it is more about having the right people. Interacting with most people leaves me exhausted.

Extroverted Introvert

I find performing on a stage to be quite empowering. But trying to socialize at a party drains me dry. People think performers are all raging extroverts because it shows off how supremely confident they must be. When I was on the stage, I was telling a story from inside myself and trying to get the audience to understand.

"If the performances of extroverts tend to involve a symbiotic energy-swap with the audience, those of introverts might be more akin to TED Talks or art exhibits: presentations crafted to make ourselves understood in a way that might otherwise be stymied by the demands and diversions of back-and-forth interaction."

For Introverts, Performance Can Be Empowering

"I relish the time spent onstage, but to me a performance comes from an internal place. I see so many other fellow performers, be they dancers or singers, engage an audience directly in a way that feels foreign to me. I feel as though my job onstage is to take some of the vast internal world I’ve created in my solitude and share it with my audience, as though a moving sculpture for the audience to appreciate rather than interact with directly. At a dance concert a couple years ago, I remember coming offstage for intermission and hearing one of the dancers buzz excitedly about performing to a sold-out house. “The house is full?” I asked. “How can you not know that?” the dancer replied, not realizing that I frequently focus so completely on the performance itself that I have no awareness of the audience at all."

The Introverted Performer

 

[Chailatte_]

Note: I’m only discussing this issue based on online discussion, because you don’t hear a lot about it in public.

Unfortunately this has happened to me (not directly though, but you get what I mean). As a modern young adult in today’s generation who identifies as an introvert, it’s sad how whenever I get the opportunity to open up about it, I get told I’m obviously not and I’m just faking it. They think I see it as a trend or a “cool”/“cute” thing to act self-deprecating. But that’s not the case. It’s also ageist to discriminate and exclude younger generations of introverts because of the belief that introversion is more common in older people.

For my generation and the one after, it’s become much harder for us to sincerely open up about our introversion without having to deal with accusations of attention-seeking behavior and faking it. They believe we must think we’re special because of what we identify, but in reality we don’t see anything special about that (at least I don’t). I’m starting to believe that older generations of introverts believe we younger folks are just making a trend out of it due to the fact that we have social media platforms and therefore we have more opportunities to be more open about our personal lives that the older generations never got.

I personally am tired of the belief people make about how introverts are SUPPOSED to behave. For example, they think REAL introverts don’t open up about their introversion, yet in reality, it only applies to SOME introverts. This also applies to those in the introversion community, as some of us believe that just because we feel a certain way, then it must mean that we all should act a certain way to be an introvert, otherwise we’re just faking it and following internet trends to seek attention. And this is coming from the same people who do the SAME THING.

My point is that there is no one way to behave as an introvert. We introverts have many different ways of expressing ourselves and coping with our surroundings. Just because some people will behave a certain way doesn’t define how all introverts behave. It’s sad knowing that introversion is strongly stereotyped even within our own community that it shames the kids of today from opening up. The so-called justification of criticizing today’s generation of “fake” introverts does nothing but silence us.

No one should stop us from having a discussion about our problems. This is our voice, our experience. Let us have that opportunity while we still can.

I believe people have the unfortunate habit of confining concepts that shouldn't be confined and not leaving enough space for ideas that, on the contrary, require room and "openness." Introversion and autism are among those that shouldn't be limited but, instead, should be given the right space because they are vast and full of nuances. Applying a black or white view to these two themes is, in my opinion, incorrect. It leads to clichés and misunderstandings, causing individuals who are introverted or autistic (or both) to be restricted and stereotyped based on their labels. These restrictions lead individuals, especially those on the spectrum, to isolate themselves more and develop irritation towards others because they know they will never be seen as a person, nor as an autistic person, but only as a single, clear label devoid of nuances, narrow, and based on misinformation. This, in turn, leads to increased self-isolation, closing oneself off more, and giving up expressing concerns or fears altogether.

This is why people find it challenging to make an "autistic coming-out," not because they are ashamed of who they are but because they are compelled to feel shame due to stigmas dictated by monochromatic labels and general misinformation.

Returning to introverts, I believe I am a "selective" introvert. If I like the person in front of me and can have an interesting conversation that respects my time, I talk non-stop. If I don't like the person, I limit myself to being polite, but then each goes their own way because I don't have time to pretend to like each other and vice versa.

P.S. I've never gotten along with my peers because, without intending to offend or generalize, I find it challenging to find anything interesting among them, at least not in my surroundings. They live at too "superficial" a level of life. That's why my friendships/connections are with people aged 70 and above, except for my best friend, who is 30 but neurodivergent as well.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I find performing on a stage to be quite empowering. But trying to socialize at a party drains me dry. People think performers are all raging extroverts because it shows off how supremely confident they must be. When I was on the stage, I was telling a story from inside myself and trying to get the audience to understand.

I applaud you there. There is absolutely  nothing positive about being in front of people for me. It's absolutely ghastly. In school, when we had plays, I always volunteered to be assissting backstage, moving props, working the curtain, anything to avoid being out front.
Even in the Air Force, when I had to present a briefing to a small group, I was a wreck for literally days.

P.S. I've never gotten along with my peers because, without intending to offend or generalize, I find it challenging to find anything interesting among them, at least not in my surroundings. They live at too "superficial" a level of life. That's why my friendships/connections are with people aged 70 and above, except for my best friend, who is 30 but neurodivergent as well.

Change the word "peers" to "most people I meet", and I agree completely. I guess I consider my peers to be people I can relate with.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Introversion, shyness, and autism are different things. https://helpandhealingcenter.com/bl...e difficulty,better equipped to navigate them.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I guess I belong to what you call older generations and I just want to point out that we learned when we were kids that some things are private. We didn't talk about ourselves or open up all over everyone else because some things are private. It was not because we didn't have social media platforms or lacked opportunities to open up.

My family get get frustrated that I only occasionally look at Facebook, and almost never post anything. I figure if I wouldn't yell it from the rooftop, or publish it in the newspaper, I certainly am not going to put it out on a worldwide internet platform.

We're kinda doing that here, but we're a more niche group, and not so many random folks are ever going to see this.

 

[Dagan]

I hardly post on social media profiles, but when I do, and if it's me talking about me (which is even more rare), I pretty much start the entire post (like the whole first few sentences) explaining that I am not sharing for attention, pity, sympathy, crying for help, etc. I never want to be mistaken for that again because when it happened years ago, I felt quite next to worthless and considered shutting down everything on social media overall.

 

[Judge]

I'm of that "older generation".

However I don't even relate to, let alone understand how anyone would perceive falsely projecting to others as a way to be positively noticed. That's not "trendy" at all in my book, and for the simplest of reasons:

That falsely projecting introversion, let alone autism is far more likely to generate scorn than endearment.

With a reality of having to exist in a world of Social Darwinists (regardless of age) who truly believe only in "the survival of the fittest" as well as those who were raised to believe that everyone is morally supposed to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" with no exceptions.

That nothing is "hard-wired", and everything amounts to mere attitude alone.

And that anyone who does not fit their standards of normalcy is inherently an offense to them. Reflecting not only prejudice for those who would merely emulate such behavior, but also those who are truly introverted or autistic, or anyone else who doesn't meet their standards of normalcy and mediocrity. While I don't believe such mindsets constitute any vast majority, but there are nevertheless a lot of them to contend with in most societies.

 

[Mary Terry]

I'm a dinosaur, too, never had a Facebook account, and am saddened by the current state of "social interaction" on the internet. There are downright nasty people on most social media, especially if the content is political in nature. That, coupled with the fact that trolls are always at play, seeking to inflame and divide us, makes me very wary about engaging with them in any way.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

My family get get frustrated that I only occasionally look at Facebook, and almost never post anything. I figure if I wouldn't yell it from the rooftop, or publish it in the newspaper, I certainly am not going to put it out on a worldwide internet platform.

We're kinda doing that here, but we're a more niche group, and not so many random folks are ever going to see this.

I used to participate on Reddit twice, but I got bullied and harassed there constantly, which is the main reason I deleted my accounts. I also used to have a Twitter account but I barely make any posts or messages, and the site is very toxic nowadays so I no longer participate there either.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

I hardly post on social media profiles, but when I do, and if it's me talking about me (which is even more rare), I pretty much start the entire post (like the whole first few sentences) explaining that I am not sharing for attention, pity, sympathy, crying for help, etc. I never want to be mistaken for that again because when it happened years ago, I felt quite next to worthless and considered shutting down everything on social media overall.

I’m really sorry you had to go through that. I had to end up doing this as well, although I’m a more empathic person. I also had very low self esteem and was afraid of posting to the public so I only do it for a certain amount of people.

 

[Judge]

I'm a dinosaur, too, never had a Facebook account, and am saddened by the current state of "social interaction" on the internet. There are downright nasty people on most social media, especially if the content is political in nature. That, coupled with the fact that trolls are always at play, seeking to inflame and divide us, makes me very wary about engaging with them in any way.

Looking back, there was a time at the dawn of the Internet when social media seemed quite pleasant.

Now the first adjective that usually comes to mind would be "weaponized".

 

[mysterionz]

I used to participate on Reddit twice, but I got bullied and harassed there constantly, which is the main reason I deleted my accounts. I also used to have a Twitter account but I barely make any posts or messages, and the site is very toxic nowadays so I no longer participate there either.

In my opinion you should delete twitter. Reddit is toxic and bound to make you miserable. I only watch Reddit videos on YouTube on the funny subreddits (crappydesign, therewasanattempt, comedyheaven, etc).

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

In my opinion you should delete twitter. Reddit is toxic and bound to make you miserable. I only watch Reddit videos on YouTube on the funny subreddits (crappydesign, therewasanattempt, comedyheaven, etc).

I already did. And I agree with what you say about Reddit as well. A lot of posts that are on there is toxic as hell.

 

[Au Naturel]

I applaud you there. There is absolutely  nothing positive about being in front of people for me. It's absolutely ghastly. In school, when we had plays, I always volunteered to be assissting backstage, moving props, working the curtain, anything to avoid being out front.
Even in the Air Force, when I had to present a briefing to a small group, I was a wreck for literally days.

Change the word "peers" to "most people I meet", and I agree completely. I guess I consider my peers to be people I can relate with.

When I was on the stage, the audience ceased to be individuals I interacted with. They were a faceless blob, and I was in my own little world.

I'm performing the role, doing the standup, or singing the song to please myself without thinking about the audience. If I am happy with what I've done, I suspect anyone who sees it will be happy too.

Doing a presentation is a completely different critter. I was an EW instructor in the military for a while, and I hated it because the class was the thing. I had to interact, and I had to communicate specific things and verify they had been effectively communicated. It wouldn't work if I spooled off into my private reverie.

There are a fair number of actors who are diagnosed as autistic. The great Anthony Hopkins is one.