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Are a portion of people on the autism spectrum asexual? Asking due to my failed relationship

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
The video I watched was done by an endocrinologist.
I do not have lesbian tendencies or behave like a man, perhaps creating too much confusion, for men. Due to my slender build I do not appear male, it's my health reason and part I suppose of who I am....tending to be a bit of geek.
Mostly I never really cut my hair, my nails were not done but neat n tidy. Wear bit lip gloss.
My body language is not aggressive, I'm very feminine, more on passive side. I don't have hormonal imbalance, I'm quiet, less opinionated,
What is testosterone or hormone changes vs the ego. The ego has lot to do with it. Female hormone tends to be more complacent and nurturing, understanding...if I'm correct?
What is noted testosterone causes performance in front of opposite sex but doesn't confirm existence of underlying mechanisms there derived from. Be performance sports based, fighting or fixing a car....
Can't confirm most people invented any of this, very few geniuses....
1 in 100 has high IQ but only 1 in 1000 rates tops of avg
In absence of males ....females may compete if sperm numbers are low but is very unlikely or unusual. In nature certain female species are not dependent on male for survival, so despite his efforts to perform for sex, colourful birds...there are more significant factors on actual survival of species...such as females role to teach young to hunt

Would you agree that most people on spectrum have less inflated self esteem and need to prove themselves.
 

Au Naturel

Au Naturel
According to this study: Sexual Orientation in Autism Spectrum Disorder - PubMed ... almost 70% of autistics self-report as "non-heterosexual".

That can commonly be gay, but also asexual or other behaviors. Sometimes, even hyper-sexual. Many of us go through life either devoid of any sexual attention, or at the other extreme, overwhelmed by it but unable to connect with others outside of sex. Overall, that leads to a lack of the usual "Get married, have kids, live the dream" life most want - and on to different sexual identities.
I would love to talk to the people who did this study. It also said that among nonautistic people, "30.3% reported being non-heterosexual." That does not match any other survey of sexual preferences that I have ever seen - and I've seen a few.
 

Au Naturel

Au Naturel
I watched a u-tube video a few days ago on how the hormone testosterone affects sex drive and even women have this hormone.
Yeah. If you compare Bell curves, the highest range of testosterone in women overlaps the lowest range in men. The testes are not the only place testosterone is produced. It is also made in the ovaries and the adrenal gland. A woman who had had her ovaries removed may need her testosterone supplemented.

I've read some accounts of women who experimented by self-administering a single "male" dose of testosterone. One result was usually an enhanced sex drive until it was metabolized.

 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Circulating testosterone activates the androgen receptor (AR) and is also converted into estrogen in the brain via aromatase. This conversion is the primary source of estrogen to the male brain. It is unclear whether testosterone and estrogen signaling interact to masculinize neural circuits.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Research showed gay people claiming to opposite sex did have chemical in brain responsible for hormone production (or something to that affect)
Hence many gay people say same things and habits just as with ASD
I noticed some differences between certain gay people so some are really nice people but some can be pretentious, meanest of all girls, may have narcisstic tendencies and be preoccupied with material gain. I highlight these points because as an autistic this is where we were not in such agreement. So I've met Mucho men with testosterone who take over kitchen, leave a mess an sound arrogance....
I prefer a quiet type of cook/chef who has modest approach, can think about their personality.
I have no prejudice against gay people, some nicest people in the world....but I wasn't like most women because I didn't get on with all gay guys as citied above
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
These impactful events interfere with the development of certain neural pathways in the brain, which causes issues in the release of hormones and manifests in the form of anti-social behavior. An increased production of testosterone and lower levels of serotonin result in behavioral patterns that appear aggressive and impulsive in individuals.
 

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I k

I know I am. Sex seems, at its best, unncessary and messy. At its worst, disgusting.
Well I like to think that couples like this are in the minority though but are there people out there that are still able to have a happy relationship without sex involved or just without intercourse involved? As in, they express physical infection with each other and other ways without intercourse? Is that how it has been in the relationships or the people you have dated?
 

Arsinoe

Member
Well I like to think that couples like this are in the minority though but are there people out there that are still able to have a happy relationship without sex involved or just without intercourse involved? As in, they express physical infection with each other and other ways without intercourse? Is that how it has been in the relationships or the people you have dated?
Nobody knows if it's the minority or majority, statistics are very fluid and they barely touch these subjects. I know there are many asexual people (myself included) who do like physical affection (cuddles even kisses) just not sex. And I also know that there can be couples like that too provided that both can be like this or at the very least be accepting of each other like this. I don't date but if I do I'd love it to be with another asexual because being asexual is not very easy to date with a non-asexual for obvious reasons. How long with the non-asexual stand not having sex?
 

GrownupGirl

Tempermental Artist
I believe that I am on the asexual spectrum because I generally find sex to be really gross, creepy and discomforting and I really don't care if I never have sex for the rest of my life. I hate how society has sexualized everything and it is very, very stupid. I mean, there are people out there who think if you draw cartoons of kids you must be a pedo, even if the kids are always fully clothed and doing g-rated stuff. And if you draw g-rated cartoons of animals you must be also a zoophile. I'm so sick of it.

If only I knew as a teenager when I had big hopes and dreams of becoming a cartoonist back in the 80s and 90s how much more horrible the human race would become and how much harder it would be to achieve my dreams, all thanks to the internet, I guess. But I digress. I am glad that one frustration I don't have to deal with is the sexual kind, because hearing people moan and whine that they haven't done it for a few weeks is creepy and gross and I have no empathy for them. But then again, I'm a woman, and people all women hate sex, anyway.
 

Crossbreed

Neur-D Missionary ☝️
V.I.P Member
Autism is a "pervasive developmental" disorder.
It is conceivable that anyone who has not attained a neurological development equivalent to NT puberty might be repulsed by sex (but that is not me).
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Society expects you to settle down by certain age, but heck some people are hard to live with! You have to put up with PM's or his gizmo....ok to certain degree but I can't handle most women talk and PM's...I just kept quiet, wonder off. Even flatmates are introduction of others habits....there is anti social but also quiet? If you get me
I mostly like to sleep alone, so I'll end up sleeping where I find comfy space most nights, often I prefer grab quick bite and be busy with other stuff. I don't like it when must discuss the day ahead and always include other person....definition of space. I sometimes cuddle a bit but it's not habit...find it annoying when others can't go over a week without sex...
Sometimes I like to dress up nicely, and it's hands off, feel like want grubby pores all over me. Esp. If I wash before bed, as I have to wash again, lack lot spontaneous ways with lot, from going out to really not in the mood.
I prefer to live alone, honestly
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Classic type symptoms of issues of space:
He wants to hug from behind while I cook, I can't concentrate on cooking and freeze up until hands off. (Relationship nightmare)
He wants to laze around lounge and smooch, make small talk. I'm finding excesses why he can't stay longer than weekend.
I'm annoyed and having shooters to pass time, then suffering with blood pressure next day, getting ultra-annoyed
The mask needs to come off and I want relax time, he's just getting started....pits
 

Harmonie

Member
I've been confused about my sexuality for years in regards to how or if I might fit somewhere on the asexual spectrum. The reason I've been pondering that is my touch aversion. However, I still somehow have sexual desire. I hate that I do, but I somehow desire it, but I think that if I ended up in a relationship, I might not be able to be physical in reality. I just don't know. I really can't tell you one way or another right now, which would be more powerful my touch aversion or my drive. >.<

If I do get diagnosed with autism I think that will help me understand this as a result of the touch aversion that is common with autism and help move me away from thinking of myself on the ace spectrum. I've never been able to understand why I had touch aversion to begin with until I began learning about and suspecting I may be autistic.
 

Ronald Zeeman

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
MY sons and daughter-and laws hug my wife however they have figured out that I'm on the spectrum, so they avoid hugging me even through I do not mind. Suspect it's from the stereotype they head about or read. awkward shaking my sons hand.
 

Celestine

New Member
I always dreaded having to have sex. I wanted one thing in my life---a husband and a family. I have zero sex drive. However, I have always had a strong drive to please any husband I would get.

Fast-forward a decade...

I'm not entirely "asexual." By myself, I am. I am what is called "demi-sexual." That is when you will only have sex with someone you are deeply (and mutually) emotionally connected to. In my case, if a man could not make me feel emotionally safe with him, I would never... However, because I "merge" with his desires, whenever I felt him desiring me, I desired him.

Having said that, I've never had sex and never will, because I wanted to get married and men seemed only to want sex. Not to mention the fact that they couldn't seem to keep their eyes and body parts to themselves even within our relationship. I agree with the OP's ex and I'd say she dodged a bullet. (One of my worst nightmares was what he did while they were together.)

Now I'm quite fed up with all the games and pretending that goes on in relationships, even of the most intimate nature. I'm at peace alone. How could I ever be happy with someone who is unconsciously self-contradictory, and then gas-lights me when I try to talk about his inconsistencies in behavior?
 

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