Anyone prefer not to socialize?

[. . .]

It's strange - I crave contact with other people, though when around them, more times than not, I feel uncomfortable.

So yeah, I long to socialize with others, yet when I'm around them I don't say much at all...

 

[Artistocat]

Hmm. If I could have it my way, I would do very little of it. The hardest part about it is keeping up with people. I'm not sure why its so hard to do so, so I just don't really socialize. I am usually working on solitary activities like art, reading or computer games.

 

[tfas]

While I do get lonely from time to time, being around people can get to be a little bit overwhelming. I have almost mastered the cool, calm, and collected look so people don't know that I am totally freaking out inside, but socializing for me is still very hard. I also find that no mater how many times I attempt to act like a NT, my aspergers comes out like, "Hah hah hah! Eff you I'm about to embarrass you in public anyway!"

 

[Cerulean]

I'm happy on my own but sometimes I feel the need for some one-on-one. I hate parties or gatherings unless there's alcohol that can help me stay calm. I never know what to do or say, or how to stand or where to put my hands. And if someone else walks up to talk, forget it- I have no idea what to do. I also have a hard time separating what my companion is saying from the din of everyone else talking and shuffling about.

 

[Margaretha]

I don't like to socialize. I don't know how to socialize. I don't mind being in a crowd of people, but other people seem foreign to me. I'm comfortable with being by myself, in my own bubble, even in a crowd of people, it just seems normal to me because I've been that way all my life. Of course when people approach me, I'll talk to them, but not for long, it just seems so awkward. I don't know what to say or how to act. I sometimes watch other people socializing, but I can't act that way and I don't want to act that way, it's just not natural to me and I don't think I can do it. I'm more comfortable just being me, on the inside looking out.

 

[Pella]

I like to socialize as long as I can be myself and not be judged, and if the people are nice and interesting to me, and that I don't have to do things I don't want to do in order to be social. Like when i used to have friends where I used to work they would watch these really bad movies, and I never got to watch the stuff I liked with them. That wasn't what I was looking for. But I still need alot of to myself, and if I do a social thing, even if I have a good time, I still need time to recover, i think the recovery time is just shorter. So my goal is to be myself pursue my interests and if someone wants to come along cool, if not then I will just enjoy it by myself. Cause being around others who don't appreciate me or understand me, just makes me feel more lonely. If I can have a better conversation sitting here talking to myself, than with them, then its probably not worth it.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

i don't like the human race that much. So i prefer to keep face to face contacts at a minimum. Online one can think before posting, in real life it's very hard not to blurt out your thoughts.

totally agree ...

if you mean socialise as in go to a bar or an event ... then I'm out of there. I get most anxious in a room of strangers who drink and smoke and talk about who did the most drugs the last weekend.

As I've seen it put small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas ... I don't think too many great minds hang out at bars ...

 

[music.forlife7]

It's so hard to have a long conservation with someone, IMO. Seriously, how do non autistic people do it?

 

[King_Oni]

I'm one of those who is non-social within the group. In the past I've went to a lot of raves, but I never talked to anyone (well, pretty much no one) and just had fun on my own having drinks, dancing and enjoying the music. I never had any interest to talk to people. A reason for this is that I already feel that even with friends I'm hard to hold conversations with. Not that I don't know what to talk about, but I"m usually all over the place talking about interests. But I guess that talking about cardgames, tabletop wargames, videogames, wrestling or any thing I know something about isn't one of the subjects to just start some smalltalk over. I'm not really one for a lot of smalltalk with just about anyone I guess. I live too much in my own world, where real world events don't have a place (or a time for that matter) and any time spent on those is less time for any of my interests and obsessions.

Luckily I have an aspie friend who shares some of my interests, so I can go on about a lot of stuff with him, and as such can easily have a long conversation lasting hours on a almost daily basis. The same is actually with my girlfriend. We share interests and she doesn't mind me talking about it a lot. Similarly I don't mind reading up on some of her interests and talking about stuff that she's into a bit more.

But socializing with the "general public"... I prefer not to. I don't prefer anything that's not a one on one conversation. Perhaps it's that I want all attention for myself, and holding myself back is a bit harder if I'm having a slightly hyper/manic mood.

 

[LikeyouToMe]

As I get older, it's getting harder and harder to keep eye contact with friends and family, it's not too hard but with others in certain situations, it's getting pretty tough.

 

[gailt915]

How's this for nonsocialization: I just disowned my mother! She has never accepted me for who I am and never will. I'm learning to let go of people who can't do that, even if it is family. I've found that socialization with other people never ends well. Too much judgement, too much nonacceptance, too many misunderstandings. When ever I get too close to people, I always get hurt. It seems better for everyone if I just isolate myself from the human race as much as possible. I really hate the mind games they love to play. So very tired of trying to make friends and failing everytime.
Socialization? Grrrrrrr, Arrrggghhh!!!

 

[Biblio-Love]

I prefer not to socialize. Most people annoy me, whether intentional or not who knows, so why bother. Crowds are awful and stressful. Large groups of people make me nervous, and I have to get trashed (drunk) to "seem" like everyone else. I think I fit in well and others accept me when I am drunk, but in the end, I find that too tiring. So mostly, now I've learned, that having just a couple friends is all I can manage. I cut anyone toxic out of my life. My husband and daughter pretty much comprise of my entire social life. Occasionally, I like getting together with a couple friends. Small groups, or one-on-one, I can handle every once in awhile.

 

[music.forlife7]

I've always questioned this theory. Why is it that people without autism have that natural ability to socialize, and enjoy it, when us aspies have to force ourselves to do it? I mean, I like certain people but even when I'm around them, inside I'm thinking "Well, I'd rather be around talking animals." and my smiles, laughs, or agreements seemed forced and not relaxed. I also hate large crowds. At my graduation open house party, I snuck away to my bedroom whenever I could. It's not that I completely hate people, it's just hard work being around them.

 

[QxV]

Yes, I love to, but preferably with only one person at a time - it gets exponentially harder to follow what everyone is doing as the size of the group increases. Also, not in a noisy or dark place like a bar or club... or any place where there are other people. That's why it's great that I live in New York. There are no people here, just empty shells that roam the streets.

 

[NeverEnder]

Simple. I rarely socialize.

 

[ShatteredUniverse]

I've always questioned this theory. Why is it that people without autism have that natural ability to socialize, and enjoy it, when us aspies have to force ourselves to do it? I mean, I like certain people but even when I'm around them, inside I'm thinking "Well, I'd rather be around talking animals." and my smiles, laughs, or agreements seemed forced and not relaxed. I also hate large crowds. At my graduation open house party, I snuck away to my bedroom whenever I could. It's not that I completely hate people, it's just hard work being around them.

I can do well around one person, especially if I know them at least somewhat well. Using pure deduction, I can usually tell their moods and what they're thinking/about to say. When you get me around more than one, it becomes exponentially more difficult, however, as I'm not good at multitasking. I can even do crouds, if I'm on the periphery and there is no easy means of approach behind me. I can't stand people coming up behind me at all. Middle school taught me to never give anyone the chance to sneak up behind me.

I deal with going places like Walmart by blasting music in my ears.

Honestly, the only parties I ever enjoyed were the ones I attended as a cadet in NJROTC, especially when I was an upperclassmen, because I knew exactly where I and everyone around me stood, if you know what I mean.

Most of my RL friends are scattered all over the country, going to school, in the military, etc, so I have to keep in touch online through email, Facebook, and the like.

 

[Serendipity]

Honestly, I don't like socializing a whole lot. I'll go out with two or three friends whenever there's a chance to go somewhere with them, but as far as going out and mingling with a whole crowd of people, no. I hate that. I'd rather be alone.

 

[HelloDizzy]

I don't like to socialize unless it's online or for a definite limited amount of time in which I was given ample warning for.
I'm better off alone, I'm happier alone, I function better alone.

 

[Meistersinger]

I can socialize, but only with a select group of people.

As I was growing up, my parents were pretty much isolated from the rest of the town. We didn't go anywhere except to church and the occasional Sunday Drive. Other kids were never really welcomed around the house.

The general mantra was don't bother anyone else for ANYTHING. If you needed something, other than those things of a sexual nature, since they were christians who believed sex should only take place between a married couple, you either paid for it, or did without.

 

[Stardust]

Usually, I don't give too much **** about socializing but when I met people with the same thoughts and interests, I liked to be around them. Anyway, I enjoy spending my time alone, doing my own things without being disturbed, listening to my own music or playing games etc. Most people are superficial and have stupid conversations, at least this is what I feel when I'm around ordinary/normal people. And being around them it's ****ing boring.
Like, almost always. :banghead: