Anyone here feel totally hate their condition?

[Amethystgirl]

I hate my condition and I feel I'm not a good person because I have major low self esteem issues. Anyone here feel similar?

 

[Xinyta]

During deep depressive episodes, I'll think exactly this way. I'll be down on all I do. Avoid trying to do anything. Say "I don't do enough". But I would dwell and hate everything about me. The spectrum, everything.

But we need to remember that being on the spectrum is out of our control. We never asked to be born this way, so it's not our fault. You, or anyone, are not horrible people. I am not a horrible person. It's a matter of allowing yourself to accept the fact that you are still you, spectrum or not. No one can take away from the value you have for yourself as a person, unless you allow it.

 

[Rogue Princess]

I hate my struggles. The processing information and thoughts aspect. I hate the alienation and isolation. I do not enjoy not being a productive member of society and my inability to contribute.

But otherwise I'm quite fond of myself and think I'm a lovely person

 

[VictorR]

There are times where I am frustrated, but I try to, where possible, focus on the positives, and find ways to improve myself and my understanding of things - no sense beating oneself up over something that we have no control over.

Comparison is the thief of joy

 

[Mr. Stevens]

No.

 

[Amethystgirl]

I know I will never like myself, however it's easier for me to like other people.

 

[Au Naturel]

I hate my condition and I feel I'm not a good person because I have major low self esteem issues. Anyone here feel similar?

I "hate" my condition, too, but since I can do nothing about it, I don't let it mess with my life. Something you have no control over shouldn't affect your self-esteem since it isn't something you choose. You are not your condition. Don't focus on limitations; focus on solutions and workarounds.

It would be no different than anchoring your ego (self-esteem) to your height, how much money you make, or how easy differential calculus came to you. None of these things have anything to do with whether you are a good person. Unfortunately, people who should not have self-esteem because they do evil things often have high self-esteem.

Perhaps self-esteem isn't what it is cracked up to be? Self-esteem and ego are tightly wrapped up. It very easily slips off into narcissism. We are much better served if we focus instead on tranquility and not worry about comparing ourselves with others.

I'm determined to do my best to enjoy what I have and not let what I don't have ruin my fun. Obsessing over what you can't have instead of focusing on what you could do and could have is the cause of most human pain.

 

[Amethystgirl]

Thank you for your nice answers. I can't help having no self esteem as it's been that way for many years.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Thank you for your nice answers. I can't help having no self esteem as it's been that way for many years.

It may be a long climb up, but you can. You should. It's for your benefit

 

[DaisyRose]

I also have processing difficulties and I tend to get frustrated with how my brain receives information. At the end of the day, I have to remember that is how my brain operates and that I can’t do anything to change that. If people don’t like that, then that’s their own problem.

 

[Amethystgirl]

I can't change my self esteem issue but thank you again for nice answer.

 

[DaisyRose]

Everyone has their own unique qualities about themselves and how they thrive in different situations. I find that very fascinating that everyone here is completely different. We should all be proud of ourselves and that we continue to thrive in our own way. Love you all!

 

[Rodafina]

I know I will never like myself

How do you know that? This is definitely something that can change over time.

You said yourself that you can like others. Maybe someday you’ll be able to see yourself as just another human being, worthy and deserving of understanding even from yourself.

However we were born into this world, with or without autism, we would eventually learn that the world is full of struggles and sorrow. These things will always exist. We just have to turn our focus toward the other things that exist as well. Like VictorR said, focusing on some of those things that are more positive.

Self-love is something that every human being has to cultivate for themselves, and it starts with simply knowing yourself. You may not always feel this way if you do not resign yourself to hating who you are.

 

[Amethystgirl]

I'm not really a proud person. I actually hate, compliments, praise, sympathy and I know I will never like myself because I've felt this way for quite a few years and it's gotten worse.

 

[Rodafina]

I actually hate, compliments, praise, sympathy

These things do not foster self love. They are external sources of validation that mean very little to many of us.

Liking yourself is a feeling that comes from within. If you give up on it now, you’re right, it won’t change. But if you embrace this chance to make changes to the way you see yourself, it is possible to have a shift in thinking.

 

[Amethystgirl]

Thank you again for your nice comment. But it's way too late for me to like myself. I'm used to being this way.

 

[Rogue Princess]

I'm not really a proud person. I actually hate, compliments, praise, sympathy and I know I will never like myself because I've felt this way for quite a few years and it's gotten worse.

I like myself and I feel the same way. Praise makes me very uncomfortable, can't trust a compliment, I almost see it as a threat... Like I'm being manipulated or someone's trying to come on to me... and I hate sympathy, I see it as pity

 

[Neonatal RRT]

It's an interesting thing to ponder. What would it actually be like, not being me, but some other version of me without an autism condition? Would I have been less successful in some areas and more successful in other areas? What would my life look like? Would I be married to my current wife, someone else, same kids, different kids, single, no children? Would my decisions and pathways in life be different?

All I can say about being autistic is that there are pros and cons. Being neurotypical would likely have a different set of pros and cons.

I am thankful for every day and have a lot to do yet before leaving this world. Stay busy my friends. Concentrate on the things that are important to you. Live your life as best you can. There are so many things in life you have no control over, but like I've said before, what little you do have control over is how you conduct yourself.

 

[Xinyta]

It's only too late once you are on your death bed.

To say it's 'too late' because you spent a chunk of your life in it, doesn't mean that at all. It means you have grown comfortable in self misery. 'Misery loves company' as the saying goes. It only feels too late because you allow your negative self image control how you see yourself.

I know. I have lived this life for a long time myself. I always felt my life going the way it did was because I was a bad person for inexplicable reasons. But in recent days. Today particularly. I have found that these are gross misconceptions of my own life and of myself.

No matter if it feels like it's not the case. We have more control of how we handle things in ourself than we know. Emotions are fickle things that can help us empathize and understand. But they are also something that can make us irrational. Holding on to negativity, especially negative emotions, will only hurt us more in the end. Let it all go. Let those feelings pass. Even if they burn bright in the moment. Let it go.

 

[Au Naturel]

Thank you again for your nice comment. But it's way too late for me to like myself. I'm used to being this way.

You sound like Darth Vader. Of course, it wasn't too late, but people have a way of convincing themselves. You incorporate it into your identity, and then you cling to it.

People can't imagine they will change, and then... change happens. Nobody knows the future. I was used to being alone and single and then I got married and had kids.