Any parents here who don't want their kid tested for autism or not or diagnosed?

[Kit]

My mom thinks my son is a little bit aspie and my husband thinks he has a mild form of it but me, I wouldn't be surprised if he had it but I have no desire to get him diagnosed when he already has help in school so I don't see how a new diagnoses would change anything. My mom thinks maybe the new diagnoses would give him a classroom aid full time like it did for me.

He already has ADHD and anxiety and he had learning issues but is finally catching up in reading and math and he is finally doing his school work, it took him a while to get motivated. I often feel like I have to use his video game interest against him to get him to do stuff like his school work but my mom says I am just being a good mom and using discipline. He loses video games for a day when he doesn't do his school work.

But my husband thinks this diagnoses would help him in the future like getting on social security if he has it and thinks it's easier to get on it when you have a early diagnoses in your childhood. Would his school records not be enough?

Anyone else here have kids who may be on the spectrum but have no desire to try and get them diagnosed or even tested to see if they are on it or not?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I would say just homeschool him. You don't have to worry about him keeping up in school, and he can learn at his own pace. I don't have an official medical diagnosis on my daughter, but I know she is exactly like me. Medical records are permanent and I'd hate an Aspergers diagnosis to limit things she would want to do in her future. She knows she's an aspie, knows how to manage the overwhelming "neurotypical nonsense" (as she puts it), and that's enough.

 

[1ForAll]

Based on the information you said so far, I cannot say yet whether I would recommend an evaluation for your son for Autism or not, unless I had more information, as each case is different and certain facts could make such an evaluation not needed, or needed, depending on if all the child's education, medical and personal needs are met now, and after analyzing the current and future pros and cons of getting that possible diagnosis.

Although I agree it is often the parental decision, that caregiver in some cases may have personal biases, or have difficulties in making informed decisions, as both ADHD and Autism are neurodevelopmental conditions and can be passed down from one or more parents. So, it's important to be comprehensive I feel, to make the right decision. Getting one side to things solves nothing really, but to satisfy one's own desire to not get that testing or diagnosis for their child.

Your Mom and husband sound they have lots of wisdom as well, and so their point of views should be considered too. I feel the child's best interest should always be at the forefront. The problem is that often family members disagree what is best for the child, as rarely is one answer the perfect answer, as each path will have consequences but some benefits. That is why I would never recommend a decision until that family has sat down and extensively talked the pros AND cons of each choice out.

As a member on this forum who loves details and giving informed opinions and making informed decisions in life, the questions I would hope you could elaborate on are:

(1) Why do you not want the child evaluated for Autism? What are your fears there? The label? His employment future? Or other?

(2) Who was the one who diagnosed your child with ADHD? The school system psychologist or psychiatrist? Or someone else? Were they thorough, as ADHD and Autism can have many of the same signs and symptoms, and thus be either misdiagnosed or be comorbid conditions.

(3) Why does your husband think your child is on the Spectrum? What core symptoms there make him believe that? Any speech delays as a child, motor issues, sensory sensitivities, need for structure or details, fear of change or deviation from routine, or difficulties with knowing how to interpret others' nonverbal cues, etc?

(4) Has you or your husband had ADHD or Autism? The relevance is this may or may lead one more to suspect a possible diagnosis in your child to evaluate further, and it could explain better a parent's preferences, anxieties or fears regarding whether the child should be evaluated or not.

(5) What is the approximate age of the child, and does your child have an IEP now? What is the current extra help or accommodations given your son or allowed for him by the school? Is all of the child's educational and personal needs met there?

(6) Have you considered asking medical opinion, without saying to them yet if you wanted another diagnosis for him yet or not, is it possible your child could be on the Autism Spectrum based on that criteria that also seems to suggest the possibility of that, in light of ADHD and Autism can be very similar in ways?

I just know if I were a wise child, and I may have unique thinking, but in my case I would want to make sure everyone involved was really looking out for my best interest, instead of theirs, regardless if it was a family member, medical person, school official or not. Of course I would never want to be diagnosed as having a condition I did not have as that would be unfair, and could adversely affect my future. But, on the other hand I would want to at least know the truth, and to make sure I was getting all my needs met. I would worry less about what others thought about my diagnoses, or I would at least eventually embrace whatever real diagnoses I had or not advertise it. Likely a combination of them both.

 

[SDRSpark]

I can't answer this as a parent, but as a former undiagnosed child (who's parents didn't want me "labeled") - I wish I'd known.

I already knew I was weird, different, struggled with social situations, couldn't make friends, etc. etc., the only thing withholding a diagnosis did was prevent me from understanding WHY.

I don't know how old your son is, but if you're not sure (and he's getting effective help currently) maybe you could wait a few years and get him diagnosed after he can play an active role in the decision making process?