Any Aspies had bad experience learning to drive

[Hedgehog Instigator]

(excuse the sticky 'g' key) I still don't drive. Its too much to pay attention to and process all at once. I end up either takin in everythin and processin nothing or focusin on one specific aspect of it and ignoring everythin else. Furthermore i have issues judging how far away objects are from me, down to and includin parked cars on a residential street. I applaud you for bein concerned for your daughter and seeking out advice. Its admirable. Not all parents would do this for their kids. Also, another thin, what is the instructor like? Is there something in particular she doesn't like about the driving lessons? Cause i noticed a huge difference driving with my mom versus my dad - my mom can get irritated quick about mistakes whereas my dad is patient with me. There came a point when i made a point to ask dad to take me driving, not my mom, because of how she affected me.

Sometimes I process cars as moving because they have the potential to which is rather jarring when walking let alone driving.

 

[CSCoder4ever]

oh man... it took me 3 tries to get my license. And judging from how socially aware you must be to drive a car... I don't think I can handle riding a motorcycle at all! Too much to juggle.

 

[Wintertime]

I love driving, being one with the Machine. My exoskeleton. Lol.

However, when my father attempted to teach me manual, I had a little nervous breakdown/meltdown/whatever you want to call it. He basically threw me in the deep end, making me drive to town instead of goofing around in a parking lot or something and letting me work it out myself, and I ended up grinding the gears a lot, the noise of it unnerved and upset me to the point of tears, under the pressure and expectations of the situation. Which it still does to this day if I accidentally screw up when I'm shifting, like if my foot slips off the clutch or something (I don't cry though, just wince, Lol). That was disappointing, and he was very impatient and a bit nasty about it, to my best recollection. He usually wasn't so bad about driving, it's a special interest we've both shared and he had me driving informally from early on. But that was my first time on manual (I had been driving unlicenced since I was 14 or so, living in rural area, even around town too with a friend's car as we could get away with that back then but the cars I drove were automatics). I have stories of stealing the family car when parents went out for the day, and just driving around my area. Never had to worry about cops or anything. Driving was very important where I lived, and still is, as public transport is very lacking and things are very spread out here, even in these days of greater population density.

What worked for me was having an instructor, because he was patient and kind, and he actually explained the mechanics of it to me, how the clutch worked the flywheel and everything. He explained to me how it all came together which enabled me to have a visual reference in my mind of the process of cause and effect. That made it a lot easier for some reason, and I prefer manual to this day, and would choose it over automatic every time. I drive manual intuitively now. Driving manual is the real deal, to me. I get bored with automatics and I prefer the greater control I have over the vehicle that I have with standard transmission.

But then, my secret fantasy was to be a race car driver or a probably moreso, a stunt driver. Fast precision driving. I also love driving in the snow and other adverse conditions, as I have an intimate knowledge/experience with the applied physics involved and I very rarely get into any trouble, in fact I manage to avoid a lot of nasty situations from my driving situational awareness, and cumulative experience. This of course developed to degrees over many years of driving, and a lot of experimentation which most people don't have the opportunity to indulge in so I consider myself fortunate to have had the opportunity. Driving is one of the few things I could consider myself having 'mastered'. I don't enjoy driving in traffic that much, I very much prefer having the road to myself.

 

[Babs]

I love driving, being one with the Machine. My exoskeleton. Lol.

However, when my father attempted to teach me manual, I had a little nervous breakdown/meltdown/whatever you want to call it. He basically threw me in the deep end, making me drive to town instead of goofing around in a parking lot or something and letting me work it out myself, and I ended up grinding the gears a lot, the noise of it unnerved and upset me to the point of tears, under the pressure and expectations of the situation. Which it still does to this day if I accidentally screw up when I'm shifting, like if my foot slips off the clutch or something (I don't cry though, just wince, Lol). That was disappointing, and he was very impatient and a bit nasty about it, to my best recollection. He usually wasn't so bad about driving, it's a special interest we've both shared and he had me driving informally from early on. But that was my first time on manual (I had been driving unlicenced since I was 14 or so, living in rural area, even around town too with a friend's car as we could get away with that back then but the cars I drove were automatics). I have stories of stealing the family car when parents went out for the day, and just driving around my area. Never had to worry about cops or anything. Driving was very important where I lived, and still is, as public transport is very lacking and things are very spread out here, even in these days of greater population density.

What worked for me was having an instructor, because he was patient and kind, and he actually explained the mechanics of it to me, how the clutch worked the flywheel and everything. He explained to me how it all came together which enabled me to have a visual reference in my mind of the process of cause and effect. That made it a lot easier for some reason, and I prefer manual to this day, and would choose it over automatic every time. I drive manual intuitively now. Driving manual is the real deal, to me. I get bored with automatics and I prefer the greater control I have over the vehicle that I have with standard transmission.

But then, my secret fantasy was to be a race car driver or a probably moreso, a stunt driver. Fast precision driving. I also love driving in the snow and other adverse conditions, as I have an intimate knowledge/experience with the applied physics involved and I very rarely get into any trouble, in fact I manage to avoid a lot of nasty situations from my driving situational awareness, and cumulative experience. This of course developed to degrees over many years of driving, and a lot of experimentation which most people don't have the opportunity to indulge in so I consider myself fortunate to have had the opportunity. Driving is one of the few things I could consider myself having 'mastered'. I don't enjoy driving in traffic that much, I very much prefer having the road to myself.

Hi, sounds like you're a bit of a dare devil,Lol. Good on you as long as you drive safely, which I'm sure you. do. I'm glad you mentioned about needing to know the mechanics and how things work. That's what my dd said, she needed to know what the engine/mechanics were doing when she did a particular task and then she understood better. Do you think that's an Aspie thing or just her being inquisitive? Like you, don't think it would be a good idea going out with her dad, I remember him taking me when I was learning, he only took me once! Say no more. I'm sure she'll master it when she's ready and in her own time

 

[NlGHTgirl]

er, not sure how Aspie I am.....

but, ah, I tend to hit the curb when pulling out of driveway or parking, I giggle, try to pretend that oh, I'm just one of the many goofy lady drivers, right? I practise being more careful. Luckily, that seems to be my only flaw with the driving skill. OH, and parking tickets, I notice that people should read the signs very carefully when visiting the cities.

 

[SameStars]

I started out my lessons nervous and scared, but I had a patient driving instructor. When I made a mistake, the response was always 'you'll get it right the next time, don't stress it'. I did have a crying fit once, but that was when family members tried to teach me.

 

[Wintertime]

Hi, sounds like you're a bit of a dare devil,Lol. Good on you as long as you drive safely, which I'm sure you. do. I'm glad you mentioned about needing to know the mechanics and how things work. That's what my dd said, she needed to know what the engine/mechanics were doing when she did a particular task and then she understood better. Do you think that's an Aspie thing or just her being inquisitive? Like you, don't think it would be a good idea going out with her dad, I remember him taking me when I was learning, he only took me once! Say no more. I'm sure she'll master it when she's ready and in her own time

I don't consider myself to be a daredevil. I just like freedom. If I had wings, I'd love flying, I'd dance in the sky, doing loops and things. Movement, like poetry in motion. I do not put people into jeopardy, of course... I would not do that. My skills have actually managed to save me from numerous accidents. I do love freeway driving, when not in rush hour.

I only drove 2k km last year, which is kind of funny. But I haven't been working, so. And I should probably mention that I got my driver's licence nearly 30 years ago, so I'm sure things are different these days. Probably a lot harder. I wish your daughter best of luck, I'm sure she will be fine. Just takes practice and finding the right method.

I think it may well be an aspie thing. It seems to help us if we know how something works at the source. Of course, in many cases there is an instinctual knowledge of how things work, but that differs for individuals and in different areas. I know there are some who take to certain skills a lot more quickly than others, we all have our affinities. I was very young at the time, of course, so the instructors explanation helped a lot for my brain to get the rhythm of it. Just to explain the mechanical process. I think it is a lot harder when learning driving from family, because of the dynamic there. So for me, learning from a stranger worked a lot better. But of course, it helps to have the right one.

I think that is a positive method- to explain the mechanical process. And letting us go at our own pace in a non-stressful context, such as a parking lot or other place where there is no pressure involved. Without the pressure, I pick things up very quickly. I just need a starting point and freedom to explore and figure things out. Then to build confidence and this also builds familiarity and a comfort level. That may not work for everyone, aspie or not, but I'm sure there are others who prefer to pick new skills up this way.

The years of video gaming didn't hurt, either. Hand eye coordination and all.

 

[Babs]

I don't consider myself to be a daredevil. I just like freedom. If I had wings, I'd love flying, I'd dance in the sky, doing loops and things. Movement, like poetry in motion. I do not put people into jeopardy, of course... I would not do that. My skills have actually managed to save me from numerous accidents. I do love freeway driving, when not in rush hour.

I only drove 2k km last year, which is kind of funny. But I haven't been working, so. And I should probably mention that I got my driver's licence nearly 30 years ago, so I'm sure things are different these days. Probably a lot harder. I wish your daughter best of luck, I'm sure she will be fine. Just takes practice and finding the right method.

I think it may well be an aspie thing. It seems to help us if we know how something works at the source. Of course, in many cases there is an instinctual knowledge of how things work, but that differs for individuals and in different areas. I know there are some who take to certain skills a lot more quickly than others, we all have our affinities. I was very young at the time, of course, so the instructors explanation helped a lot for my brain to get the rhythm of it. Just to explain the mechanical process. I think it is a lot harder when learning driving from family, because of the dynamic there. So for me, learning from a stranger worked a lot better. But of course, it helps to have the right one.

I think that is a positive method- to explain the mechanical process. And letting us go at our own pace in a non-stressful context, such as a parking lot or other place where there is no pressure involved. Without the pressure, I pick things up very quickly. I just need a starting point and freedom to explore and figure things out. Then to build confidence and this also builds familiarity and a comfort level. That may not work for everyone, aspie or not, but I'm sure there are others who prefer to pick new skills up this way.

The years of video gaming didn't hurt, either. Hand eye coordination and all.

Hope I didn't offend you calling you a dare devil, I think I misunderstood you.
I agree about the pressure thing. She does normally pick things up quickly. She only has to be told something once if it's told to her correctly. I think perhaps her instructor was going too fast for her and maybe outwardly she appeared to be doing ok, but inwardly she was going to pieces. Thanks for your advice

 

[LgndKllr24]

Oh yeah! I was scared to death to learn to drive, and unfortunately my AS plus my dad being inexperienced at helping teach driving led to some bad results. It wasn't my dad's fault though, because he didn't really have any experience, like I mentioned.

We started having me drive on some very quiet roads near my home, but when I took one right turn, I messed up with the steering wheel and hit the accelerator, instead of the brake, and ended up crashing through somebody's fence and literally crashed into the side of their house. It was awful and I pretty much destroyed the car. My dad and I were ok but were pretty shaken up.

So I pretty much didn't drive for a while after that. I took some lessons through my school and some private driving lessons, and got better and got more confidence. Any time I had a lesson though, I was still nervous and was happy when they were over. After that, I ended up taking drives with my dad on occasion and ended up passing the driving test on my first try. So it ended up ok.

To this day though, there's many times where I do not like to drive. I much prefer driving early in the morning on weekends when there is little traffic. I hate driving in crowded places and on freeways.

 

[Wintertime]

Hope I didn't offend you calling you a dare devil, I think I misunderstood you.
I agree about the pressure thing. She does normally pick things up quickly. She only has to be told something once if it's told to her correctly. I think perhaps her instructor was going too fast for her and maybe outwardly she appeared to be doing ok, but inwardly she was going to pieces. Thanks for your advice

Not at all. It's kind of funny, as I'm a very soft cherubic looking thing, more at home on a couch than playing Evel Knievel. I don't offend too easy. I just wanted to clarify so that nobody would be worried that I was racing the streets and getting into mischief. Oh boy, in my dreams maybe.

Your daughter sounds a bit like me. I only have to be told once, too, but if the information isn't correct, it throws me into a tailspin too. Or if it isn't clear, or if it's subject to change within different variables. Kind of like breaking it down to an equation- If x happens, do y. But if there is z, y won't work, so you must do v. That sort of thing. Eventually I learned by observation quite a bit, and that as well as specific questions and teaching helped me develop my intuition where driving was concerned. Aspies don't tend to do well with ambiguity, from what I've gathered. It's best to be precise and clear when explaining something, to leave nothing open to interpretation in situations where we are unfamiliar, and to allow us to process at our speed. So I can definitely understand why your daughter would struggle to keep up with someone who did not have patience to spell things out.

Sounds like she has a good mom who is aware of what she needs to succeed. Really, you're wonderful and I can tell how much you care about her and want success for her.

Driving is one of my special interest things so I tend to get a bit talky about it. It was amazing to me, it's like, wow I have this thing and I can just go anywhere I want and I don't have to rely on anyone else or wait or anything, woo freedom! Yay! I kind of graduated from horses as a kid to cars as an adult. Always loved being in motion, travelling.

 

[wyverary]

I was terrified to learn to drive, which I think actually made me a much better driver. It required me to focus as much as possible on everything I needed to do; I got neurotic about learning about all the traffic laws, how to operate the vehicle, how to make turns, etc. I took a drivers' ed course through which I was actually able to take the driver's test instead of through the state; the man who evaluated me said I got the highest score he had ever given. To this day, I've been driving for 11 years and have never once had a traffic ticket. Now, I absolutely love driving. I'm in the minority of Americans in that I actually drive manual-transmission cars. (I hate going from a standard to an automatic, and I automatically go for the clutch and hit the parking brake instead!)

One thing I cannot do? Parallel park. I still need someone to teach me how the hell to do that. Fortunately, I almost never need to do it.

 

[LgndKllr24]

I was terrified to learn to drive, which I think actually made me a much better driver. It required me to focus as much as possible on everything I needed to do; I got neurotic about learning about all the traffic laws, how to operate the vehicle, how to make turns, etc. I took a drivers' ed course through which I was actually able to take the driver's test instead of through the state; the man who evaluated me said I got the highest score he had ever given. To this day, I've been driving for 11 years and have never once had a traffic ticket. Now, I absolutely love driving. I'm in the minority of Americans in that I actually drive manual-transmission cars. (I hate going from a standard to an automatic, and I automatically go for the clutch and hit the parking brake instead!)

One thing I cannot do? Parallel park. I still need someone to teach me how the hell to do that. Fortunately, I almost never need to do it.

I still cannot parallel park either. I have no idea how I passed that part of the test. I think the instructor said that he wanted me to be closer to the curb, but he would pass me anyway.

 

[Wintertime]

I used to be terrified of parallel parking too, but then someone (can't remember who) taught me from a different perspective, and I don't get nervous anymore. It was daunting for a time, though.

 

[RayRay28]

oh god did i! My mom would never teach me how to drive. I actually got my license exactly one year ago tomorrow when i was 27. If it wasn't for my cousins, I still would not know how to drive. My mom kinda thinks that I'm too "slow" to drive. I actually just drove by myself about a month ago when my cousin asked me to go to the store a couple blocks away for her. Sweet freedom

 

[photoaddict]

I did *not* want to learn to drive. I fought it. Didn't even get a learner's permit until I was 16 and only did that because my mom dragged me out there and told me I had no choice. I'd been sitting in the front seat, observing, asking questions, learning for years, but it still terrified me. I knew just how many things could go wrong. My mom taught me to drive, rather than taking driver's ed, like my friends did. I think that made it a lot easier. It meant that it was ok for me to freak out because she understood. I got to set the pace and decide when I felt I was ready to move to the next step, instead of being told "ok, we've done this 6 times, let's try the next thing". It took me 2 years to get my license. Not because I couldn't, but because I didn't drive very often and didn't feel prepared.

My brother was much the same. He started later than "normal" and took his time learning. He had some massive meltdowns while learning. I was unfortunate enough to be a passenger for some of them.

Now, years after the learning process, I love to drive. I don't do it a lot because I think it's silly to drive when I can walk. But I do enjoy the experience of driving, especially out on the highway, where it's miles of nothing but fields. It's peaceful and it's often the only time I'm truly alone. My brother still doesn't love driving, though he's finally starting to get better. He has trouble with the navigation part and dealing with new situations. I can get myself to any place that I've been before and use my phone's GPS for everything else. It probably helps that I have a strong sense of north, so I can generally figure out where I am, in relation to something familiar, even if I'm thoroughly lost.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

er, not sure how Aspie I am.....

Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ)

 

[Shawn D]

I got 37 out of 50.

 

[Irkoutsk]

I had my driver license when I was 18 years old because I failed so much exam. 2 years later I drived from Québec city to San Diego, California for 8 days of driving go and return without visiting no city at all hahaha that's typically me. 2000$ of pure driving from one ocean to another.

 

[zurb]

Our local Automobile Association ran driving lessons/defensive driving classes in association with our school. I signed up for lessons during the summer break after I turned 15.
I was among the better drivers in the class, and got it first time. Main comment was that I was over cautious entering traffic.
My wife hates driving, especially in town. When we had an automatic, she much more enjoyed it as she didn't have to worry about the gears.

 

[Meistersinger]

I got my license at 17, but it was pure hell for me learning how to drive. Dad had absolutely, positively NO patience with me, especially since I was extremely anxious while around him. He gave up trying to teach me anything after I ran his car into a ditch. I ended up learning to drive being taught by my maternal grandmother. It also didn't help that when he jumped off the seat to lean out the door of his milk truck, I jumped on the seat to drive, and immediately wrecked the truck by rolling it on its side.