Any Aspies had bad experience learning to drive

[Babs]

My 17 year old (undiagnosed AS) daughter has just started driving lessons. Last night she had bit of, what I think, was a meltdown. The instructor is nice but she was dreading the lesson, said she wasn't enjoying them and was finding them far too stressful. She came home half way through the lesson crying. She has now quit, for now, after 5 lessons. She does not think she has AS (I suspect she does) but I was anticipating that this may happen after reading that many Aspies have difficulty learning. She finds the actual driving ok, it's everything else that daunts her ie the forward thinking, the surroundings, other traffic, pedestrians etc. Can anyone relate to this, I am interested as to how much of a problem it is, if at all

 

[apsie]

I generally don't like driving, traffic does my head in.
People seem to genuinely lose their minds while driving, most feel safe and allmighty behind the wheel.
I can definitly relate to the overwhelming sensation of having to anticipate the moves of every other person around, while at the same time following the rules.
(In Belgium, traffic rules and signs often make little sense at all. At any given intersection there could be over 10 signs you have to see in the blink of an eye.)

Learning to drive was a good experience for me, looking back on it now.
My father taught me. For hours (roughly 10 hours spread over as many days), all we did was practice on a parkinglot, making sure I nailed parking and general controll of the vehicle.
After that, we went on to small roads with little to no traffic, getting used to the gears.
Next step was driving in the city, not during peak hours. Next step during peak hours.
The rest is all experience.

Ofcourse beforehand I' already memorised all the rules and traffic signs.
My advice would be to let her learn on her own terms. Ask her how it would be more comfortable for her.
Maybe then she'd be ready for driving with an instructor?
Experience is king in this context.

 

[Babs]

Sorry folks, just found another thread on here about driving. I did look before I posted this thread. I'm still finding my way round!

 

[The Penguin]

No too much of bad experience but my instructor was not patience with me at the start. As time progressed she got better.

 

[Sander]

Here in the Netherlands we actually have special driving schools for people with autism and autism related. Some might need it, some don't. But I'm glad for the people that have to use that special driving school it is there.

 

[The Penguin]

Here in the Netherlands we actually have special driving schools for people with autism and autism related. Some might need it, some don't. But I'm glad for the people that have to use that special driving school it is there.

I think more countries and areas should have this.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

My 17 year old (undiagnosed AS) daughter has just started driving lessons. Last night she had bit of, what I think, was a meltdown. The instructor is nice but she was dreading the lesson, said she wasn't enjoying them and was finding them far too stressful. She came home half way through the lesson crying. She has now quit, for now, after 5 lessons. She does not think she has AS (I suspect she does) but I was anticipating that this may happen after reading that many Aspies have difficulty learning. She finds the actual driving ok, it's everything else that daunts her ie the forward thinking, the surroundings, other traffic, pedestrians etc. Can anyone relate to this, I am interested as to how much of a problem it is, if at all

I still don't drive.

 

[Babs]

I think more countries and areas should have this.

Yes, that is a good idea. I spoke to her instructor today and he has never taught anyone with AS. Maybe, they need to learn at a slower pace. But I'm sure it's like everything we all learn at different rates

 

[Judge]

Only when my father attempted to teach me how to drive a manual transmission car.

My mother on the other hand taught me well, having far more patience.

 

[Shawn D]

I didn't get my license until I was 19. I was scared of driving and unlike my high school peers, I was not eager to learn.
I have horrendous road rage. If I get behind someone going under the speed limit, I flip out. Don't even get me started on getting behind bicyclists.

 

[clg114]

I have had a drivers license since I was 14 years old, but I'm a motothead, it was one of my special interests at the time. My youngest son is a Aspie and is 31 years old. He has never had a license and has no interest in driving. He and his girlfriend bought a car together and she drives them everywhere. I know he is capable of driving, he raced motocross as a kid. He just does not want to drive. Now I wish I had someone to drive me around, but my wife feels the same way, so I have to drive where ever we go.

 

[bentHnau]

Driving is very stressful because there are so many things to which one must pay attention, and, of course, the stakes are rather high. I've found that having to be so alert tires me out to the point of cutting into the energy I have left to do whatever activity I'm driving to. I also got migraines, from the sunlight streaming in through the window and keeping my eyes focused on the road for so long (when driving out of town), I think.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

I didn't get my license until I was 19. I was scared of driving and unlike my high school peers, I was not eager to learn.
I have horrendous road rage. If I get behind someone going under the speed limit, I flip out. Don't even get me started on getting behind bicyclists.

I used to date a guy with ASD and thew same anger issues terrified me to be in a car with him.

 

[Kari Suttle]

(excuse the sticky 'g' key) I still don't drive. Its too much to pay attention to and process all at once. I end up either takin in everythin and processin nothing or focusin on one specific aspect of it and ignoring everythin else. Furthermore i have issues judging how far away objects are from me, down to and includin parked cars on a residential street. I applaud you for bein concerned for your daughter and seeking out advice. Its admirable. Not all parents would do this for their kids. Also, another thin, what is the instructor like? Is there something in particular she doesn't like about the driving lessons? Cause i noticed a huge difference driving with my mom versus my dad - my mom can get irritated quick about mistakes whereas my dad is patient with me. There came a point when i made a point to ask dad to take me driving, not my mom, because of how she affected me.

 

[Ailie]

Driving is very stressful because there are so many things to which one must pay attention, and, of course, the stakes are rather high. I've found that having to be so alert tires me out to the point of cutting into the energy I have left to do whatever activity I'm driving to. I also got migraines, from the sunlight streaming in through the window and keeping my eyes focused on the road for so long (when driving out of town), I think.

I can definitely relate to this.

 

[Babs]

(excuse the sticky 'g' key) I still don't drive. Its too much to pay attention to and process all at once. I end up either takin in everythin and processin nothing or focusin on one specific aspect of it and ignoring everythin else. Furthermore i have issues judging how far away objects are from me, down to and includin parked cars on a residential street. I applaud you for bein concerned for your daughter and seeking out advice. Its admirable. Not all parents would do this for their kids. Also, another thin, what is the instructor like? Is there something in particular she doesn't like about the driving lessons? Cause i noticed a huge difference driving with my mom versus my dad - my mom can get irritated quick about mistakes whereas my dad is patient with me. There came a point when i made a point to ask dad to take me driving, not my mom, because of how she affected me.

Hi, thanks for your response. She said her instructor was lovely. I think it's just a case of it was more difficult than she expected it to be and it was too much to take in. She mentioned she couldn't get the hang of pulling over to park at the side of the road. It was only early days but she's decided to give it a break for now. I spoke to her instructor and he said her breathing changed as soon as she got in the car to the point of hyperventilating. She can take it back up as soon as she feels ready, afterall, she's still got Mum's taxi.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I was 14 when I started driving. Living in the sticks has it's unique situations. My big stress was keeping the vehicle straight and parking at home. See, my dad drove a semi and parked it just off our narrow drive way. On the opposite side of where he parked was a pine tree and the mail box. And I had to squeeze a van between the two. Backwards. Only got hung on the truck once! STRESSFUL. Other than that, it wasn't too bad. Didn't like it, but I could cope. The area I live in now is a nightmare even for normal people because it's a divided four lane with a turn lane in the middle every few feet and matching side roads meeting it at each turn lane. And not all of them have a red light. So you watch behind you to make sure some whacko isn't going to run into you (because they often speed and don't care if they hit you when they veer out from behind you and then back in front of you), you have to watch ahead in case somebody is wanting to drive ten under the limit, and you have to watch left and right all the time in case somebody wants to pull out and they will invariably go to the lane farthest from them so as to increase their chances of a wreck as much as possible. (And since driving doesn't become too instinctual for some Aspies, that's on top of constantly readjusting your foot so you're going the appropriate speed, watch the gauge to verify it, and watching the stripes to make sure you're where you're supposed to be and hoping you don't over or under compensate when you start to stray, and the usual issues of watching out for other cars and upcoming red lights. I hate red lights, the stress me out to no end. I always get caught in the yellow at the right moment where you either have to slam on the breaks and send your passenger flying through the windshield, or gun it but still have a red light over your head when you pass under.) I've been run off the road once and another time I had to zip into a turn lane to pass somebody, elsewise that moron would have caused a minimum of a four-car crash. It's fun up here!

Now, I knew an autistic and Asperger's guy. I'm not familiar with the former's driving, but the latter had issues with it and he was most known for not pulling out onto a road unless he could not see any other cars on the road. He had a bad time of judging distance and wouldn't risk it. And a fellow that went to school with my mom that we now heavily wonder whether he was just a nerd or perhaps autistic couldn't drive worth beans. He kept driving off the road even on straightaways and didn't have the coordination for a bicycle either. He was pretty late getting his license.

 

[Cali Cat]

I didn't get my license until I was 18. I was in no hurry to learn to drive either. I found the lessons stressful. I failed my first driving test due to not braking completely at stop signs. Once I finally got the license, I still didn't like to drive, but I did learn to be a good driver over time. I was never able to learn to drive a manual transmission though. My late husband patiently taught me as best as he could, but I couldn't get the coordination down to perform the motions correctly. The only problem I have now is judging distances of oncoming traffic. I err on the side of caution if I'm not sure how fast another car is going. I probably drive more defensively than aggressively. Back in the day when my bff and I used to go drinking and driving, I usually had to drive because I could sober myself up at will, and my girlfriend could not. Luckily, there weren't as many people on the road here 30 years ago.

 

[OddmanJive]

I hate driving, but I've had to get used to it. I learned to drive at 15, but didn't get my license until I was 18. I used to get so stressed out behind the wheel that I would need to stop at every rest area on road trips, and I still get pretty keyed up if I have to drive at night or through chaotic construction sites. My NT wife doesn't drive at all, so I drive a lot now. I always take the same routes, and I try to stay out of traffic as much as possible. I rarely make unprotected left-hand turns, if I can help it. LOL. Sometimes I like exploring new places and routes, but I usually save it for family trips, where I have a navigator and extra eyes on the road. My road rage has tempered since moving from Boston, MA, but I still freak out sometimes.

It gets easier to drive, but it can be pretty nerve-wracking for a person prone to sensory overstimulation. I agree that the best plan is to give your daughter time, and let her know that you support her efforts to learn at her own pace. It's a complex skill that NTs probably master sooner than Aspies because they can ignore whole sets of stimuli that we need to process first. In any case, good luck to her, and you!

 

[Flinty]

My dad tried to teach me to drive, but he's so Type A that it made me nervous, so I didn't bother to get my license right away. I drove my brother a bit in his car at age 17 and learned something: learning in a small car is much easier than learning in a New Yorker. But still I waited.

Then I moved here and befriended a cop and his wife. Best idea ever, even though the "small" car was a Cavalier sedan...and then there was parallel parking in a K Car station wagon. Believe it or not, that was the best vehicle to learn that particular skill in.

So, the advice is: learn driving in as small a car as you can find, except for parallel parking which you should learn in a Hummer or something of that ilk.