Anxiety turning into fear

[watersprite]

My mind just tells me that people telling me that are saying they don’t want me to have a relationship.

This is generally referred to as reading between the lines.
Most people here are entierly straightforward.

My take on your posts is that you are a passionate and energetic person. But...
there are a couple of problems which you have tangled up and it would be really good if you could observe that.
It would take some work and attention.

 

[Matthias]

My anxiety has been elevating for the last few weeks for me. Even when I am driving my car, shelving library books, participating in the college course, eating meals, etc., I feel stressed and fear if something bad is awaiting me around the proverbial corner.
I have been taking vitamin D3 chews to deal with the lack of sunlight; it’s showing more but still not enough. I haven’t gotten much fresh air, though, because of getting into the school routine and having to work every week day and Saturday for this week. I just drove to a park and am going to walk while the sun is still up to see if it helps.

CBT is the most effective treatment for anxiety. It can completely eliminate severe anxiety. CBT helps improve the way you think which not only reduces anxiety but also increases the likelihood that people will want to be around you and can strengthen relationships.

 

[Kalinychta]

This is generally referred to as reading between the lines.
Most people here are entierly straightforward.

Actually I think it’s called selective hearing (even though we’re writing). When given a piece of advice that would require him to make major changes, Markness selects one or two statements or aspects of it and interprets them in a way that he finds outrageous, thus enabling him to disregard the advice so that he doesn’t have to deal with the discomfort of changing his behavior.

So for example, when we tell him that he probably isn’t ready for a relationship, he interprets this as us not wanting him to have a relationship.

 

[Markness]

I still feel like I did back in 2006: Confused, despondent, and hopeless as well as helpless.

 

[Matthias]

I still feel like I did back in 2006: Confused, despondent, and hopeless as well as helpless.

You'll probably still feel the same way in 2050 unless you decide to do something to improve yourself. Much of it has to do with your mentality and willingness to change. If you avoid your problems, don't listen to advice, blame genetics or other people for your problems (victim mentality), and keep thinking the same way, your life will never get better.

Things you can do to improve your life:

Think positively - It can help you feel better and reduce stress. If you try, you can probably find something positive to think about even in the worst situations. You might not feel less depressed in the short-term but it can greatly help in the long-term if you make it a habit.

Focus on what you can change instead of what you can't.

Identify problems and focus on finding solutions to them instead of lamenting about them.

Set goals and make an effort to accomplish them even when it seems like you will fail.

Socialize often with as many people as you can while trying your best to interpret everything as positively as possible (if you get negative thoughts, ask yourself whether they are true or whether you could be misunderstanding the situation due to a habit of thinking negatively). Your opinion of people you talk to will affect how you feel around them so you're almost always better off thinking positively.

Ask for advice from many people and consider following it to see if it will help (what do you have to lose? how much worse can your life really get?). The more often you are given the same advice, the more likely it's true and the more likely it will help if you follow it.

 

[Markness]

This is generally referred to as reading between the lines.
Most people here are entierly straightforward.

My take on your posts is that you are a passionate and energetic person. But...
there are a couple of problems which you have tangled up and it would be really good if you could observe that.
It would take some work and attention.

I hoped the avenues I took last year would solve those problems. I don’t understand why they didn’t. Wasn’t I working on myself?

 

[Markness]

Actually I think it’s called selective hearing (even though we’re writing). When given a piece of advice that would require him to make major changes, Markness selects one or two statements or aspects of it and interprets them in a way that he finds outrageous, thus enabling him to disregard the advice so that he doesn’t have to deal with the discomfort of changing his behavior.

So for example, when we tell him that he probably isn’t ready for a relationship, he interprets this as us not wanting him to have a relationship.

Someone did once tell me straight out to give up and that I deserved to be alone since this person viewed all men like me as Elliot Rodgers.

 

[BrokenBoy]

In a tv show, a character got his first girlfriend in his 70s!

Which one?

 

[Markness]

I sometimes feel like something bad is going to happen to me at work. It’s very scary. It feels like a removed sequence from Jacob’s Ladder, particularly the one where it’s revealed the antidote from another removed sequence given to him didn’t work.

 

[watersprite]

I sometimes feel like something bad is going to happen to me at work. It’s very scary. It feels like a removed sequence from Jacob’s Ladder, particularly the one where it’s revealed the antidote from another removed sequence given to him didn’t work.

Have you tried the 4 square breathing exercise?
In for 4 sec.,
hold for 4,
out for 4,
hold it out for 4.
Repeat a few times.

 

[watersprite]

I hoped the avenues I took last year would solve those problems. I don’t understand why they didn’t. Wasn’t I working on myself?

Yes of course it was.

Some projects take a long time, with changes and more changes.

The project of •you• is well worth the past work, the present work, & the future work.

 

[Fino]

Which one?

Young Sheldon.

 

[Markness]

I don’t recall anyone telling you that they don’t want you to be in a relationship, but quite a few of us have pointed out that you’re probably not in any fit state to be in one, not until you’ve worked out your desperation and depression and stopped thinking that a woman is going to save you.

I once told someone I was going to work on myself and you know what their response was? “You’ll run out of time if you do!” I kid you not. It also doesn’t help that my siblings got married and sired children. Conversely, I also had people telling me the “God’s plan” crap despite how I am 33 years old.

 

[Fino]

Do you believe in God?

 

[Kalinychta]

I once told someone I was going to work on myself and you know what their response was? “You’ll run out of time if you do!” I kid you not. It also doesn’t help that my siblings got married and sired children. Conversely, I also had people telling me the “God’s plan” crap despite how I am 33 years old.

Okay, so…why is it that you’re constantly seeking confirmation from other people, and why are you so influenced by negative comments? From what I can tell about you, the thing you need to work on the most is your hyper-sensitivity. Stop listening to negative comments and start considering critical comments. It’s the critical comments that will truly benefit you.

 

[Fino]

If I dwelled on all the negative things people have said to me, my mind would be filled with poison. Instead, I can't remember 95% of it.

 

[Markness]

Do you believe in God?

I did as a child. These days I go from being an agnostic for a while and an atheist the next then I cycle back.

 

[Markness]

Okay, so…why is it that you’re constantly seeking confirmation from other people, and why are you so influenced by negative comments? From what I can tell about you, the thing you need to work on the most is your hyper-sensitivity. Stop listening to negative comments and start considering critical comments. It’s the critical comments that will truly benefit you.

I was bullied constantly as a child, my parents were constantly chastising me (Example: I would talk to someone they knew and would tell me “You quit bugging X!” or even “Don’t talk about that!” even for the most trivial things.), and my older brother would scold me for being “wrong” if I stated a fact simply because he didn’t like me saying it.

Would you consider being unfairly characterized as a “[common vulgarity deleted] misogynist” a negative or critical comment?

 

[Kalinychta]

Would you consider being unfairly characterized as a misogynist” a negative or critical comment?

I’ve said this to you before: stop spreading your business all over the Internet. What do you expect? People say things like that online. You take all of the mean comments made to you as proof of your tragic victimhood, but you largely ignore helpful comments. What exactly do you want? Do you want people online to tell you “poor baby” and rub your tummy and feed you warm milk?

 

[Fino]

I did as a child. These days I go from being an agnostic for a while and an atheist the next then I cycle back.

Well, that's not a very wild ride!