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Skye81

Active Member
Hi, well I'll just flip back 10 years when I finally pushed myself to see a doctor, which I find such an incredibly difficult thing to do.. and presented him with a list of weird stuff about me that I could mainly remember from growing up. I said I wondered whether I had aspergers. I can't remember what was on the list but I have since experienced so much more of that 'weird stuff'! Anyway, he vaguely glanced at the list, took one look at me and said, "Well you certainly haven't got that." Awkward moment.. and then I just said ok and bye.....
I now have an 8 year old daughter and a younger son. From about 3 my daughter didn't understand safety like other kids were learning and she couldn't play at all with other kids. It was a nightmare.
She had a bad start at school, didn't know what was going on, who people were, didn't have friends, lashed out if the slightest thing upset her.. The school were useless. They sent her to the head in the first year and just said she didn't care or seem sad. We've always experienced huge meltdowns. Seriously awkward when she was 6, 7.. and now coming up 8 next wk.
Well we moved house and school and then..... that school very quickly came back to me and said.... She's very different to the others and perhaps she is on the spectrum..? My daughter has always read well and loves science and art and will bamboozle the class with talk of atoms and umbras and penumbras... things they won't be learning until secondary school.. But socially she really struggles. She doesn't do or say anything she should and she is very immature as well as being bright! We are currently referring her for diagnosis. I totally understand her though and feel like she's doing so many things that I did. And basically.. I'm pretty sure she gets it from me.. So now I'm just waiting for a moment in one of the meetings to possibly slip that in. 8^/
 
Welcome, welcome very, very much to this amazing forum, Skye81

Oh it is HORRIBLE when we take courage and it is squished!

I had similar just a few month's back. I did not intend to say I think I am on the spectrum, but questions just threw me and I blurted it out and she said after a while: I have a few autistic patients I see and to be honest, I just cannot agree you are on the spectrum; my heart dropped, despite knowing the inevitable and I tried to argue but between my husband and her, I was defenseless and so, just stopped talking. It is also very hard, due to me living in France and thus, the language barrier.

She, of course, was stereotyping me. She does not know me at all and thus, basing her "professional" musing on the fact that I look normal and thus, must be normal. Actually, what she also did was compare me to several classic autism where it is quite apparent by looking that one can see! Yet, clever clogs claimed to know about aspergers.

I spoke to an American woman from SOS based in Paris, as I was trying to find an English speaking therapist for a professional diagnosis. She was lovely and said that aspies are far more able to diagnose themselves, than any "professional" and this is because when we get absorbed into sometime, we become experts! She also said that aspergers is not static ( oh in some ways, which she hadn't because that blasted word, escapes in to my conversations now and I get bored with it lol). She did not question whether I was or not, she just accepted at face value that I was and I so appreciated that, because what happens, by questioning us, they are saying we are stupid and can't think for ourselves etc and hate that? I do so very much. Saying our word is not valid!
 
Welcome aboard. :)
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Many of us share the same story, the details may vary a bit.
You daughter may be a living national treasure in the future.
If I may be so bold, I humbly suggest;
Your mission, if you choose to accept it, to encourage, strengthen and teach her well.
Try to teach her how, ( the method) to think, so others can't teach her what to think.
 
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Hi Skye, and welcome to the forum :) Don't give up and lose hope, ask for a second opinion. Doctors and other professionals are much more enlightened about AS these days, especially about traits in females.

Good luck with your daughter's diagnosis!
 
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