Am I Aspie or Highly sensitive? I had selective mutism as a child

[Cocoon]

Hi all!

I've recently self-diagnosed myself with Aspergers Via the internet. So I'm not 100% I'm a aspie, but it sounds like i do. I would like to get a proper diagnosis but not sure how much help I can get in this area ( I live in Hong Kong).
What help did you receive after having your diagnosis?

Can anyone here see if you think I have it? Or am I just highly sensitive?
I'm in my mid 30s, and I've always felt different. I had selective mutism all though my primary years and coming out of Selective mutism in my secondary years. I've always been anxious kid and had negative thinking. At school, as english was my second language I was always scared to say the wrong thing and to be laughed at. I thought it was because my home environment was a bit toxic too. Stressed out and busy parents. I felt neglected as a child.

My obsessions are art, astrology, conspiracy theories, animals, Tv shows.
I can research on the topic till I can research no more. I listen to youtube a lot whilst doing my art.

Negative thinking
I can't handle any criticism. If someone says something mean, or say something in a wrong way. I think about how much I hate them or they hate me. I have a meltdown, I even think about cutting them out of my life and and occasionally feel suicidal. I can't think rationally when my emotions take over. This can last for 1 - 3 days.

Messiness
I don't always see mess in the house. I think my husband has OCD and if he says something in the wrong way about something not put away, I might go into a meltdown.

In my 20s, I had a group of friends who I socialised which evolved around drinking and partying! This time helped me come out of some of my anxiety with drinking and smoking, but ended putting me in toxic and dangerous situations.

Now in my 30s I don't drink nor smoke. I feel that its really hard to relate to anyone, I thought before that people weren't on my wavelength. But now I'm thinking it's me? Or is this just what happens when u become an adult!?

I would love to know how to handle my emotions when I'm having a meltdown. Or even better not to start a meltdown. My husband says that I am like a child sometimes.

Looking forward to learning more.

Jo

 

[Flinty]

Hello Jo,

The one thing I'd like to input here is that due to the selective mutism, it's quite likely you are full-blown autistic rather than an Aspie.

And I'll tell you when I start relating to the world in the way the world would like me to. Don't wait up.

 

[Nitro]

 

[xudo]

Welcome.

Can anyone here see if you think I have it?

No, nobody here can diagnose you. People can say "maybe" or "sound like it could be" but ultimately in terms of getting further help in RL, it means nothing. Look into professionals who specialise in Autism, or even Autism charities in your area as they would be able to at least point you in the right direction.

 

[OkRad]

You must be screened to know for sure. There are specific markers now. People think they surely have it and don't. Some think they do not and do. THE DSM has changed. Also, beware that diffeerent clinicians can interpret your behaviour differently. I was told I had it by one Dr and another laughed in my face. In the end, I am not NT goodness only know what I am .

 

[tree]

 

[pjcnet]

It's only possible to make an informed guess based from the information given without a proper diagnosis, but from what you've written so far you do sound like you're more likely to be on the autistic spectrum. Also every person on the autistic spectrum is unique and will have varying levels of different traits while a few traits may barely even show at all, so you don't have to relate to all the following to be on the autistic spectrum:

Do you seem hypersensitive to sounds, light or touch? For instance perhaps you find certain sounds uncomfortable, you much prefer to sit in semidarkness or maybe certain fabrics are uncomfortable to touch?

Do you ever pace or rock back and forth, or do you find yourself doing any other kind of stimming? (please scroll down to the heading "Stimming" on the page link for more information).

Do people ever complain that you repeat yourself or keep going on and on about things?

Do people ever complain that the level of your voice is either too loud or too quiet when it sounds normal to yourself?

Do people ever say that your voice sounds different, with less or odd expression, perhaps even monotone?

Do people often say you're not listening to them or ignoring them when that's not your intention? Sometimes you might struggle to interpret a lot of information at once.

Has there been occasions where people have been offended by something you said or did when you can't understand what you did wrong? Sometimes people won't say anything when they're offended, instead they will simply avoid or show dislike towards you making it difficult to make friends.

Does it feel unnatural or even uncomfortable for you to give eye contact during a conversation?

Do you ever get anxious or find it uncomfortable doing certain tasks that involve starting communication, E.g. going up to the bar for a drink, making a phone call to someone you don't know?

Do you have poor motor skills? (I actually don't show this trait, but it is an issue for some aspies!)

Do you hate change more than most people and/or do you have strict routines that cause anxiety if broken?

Are you often the last person to notice changes to someone's appearance, E.g. when they have a new haircut?

Do you consider yourself vulnerable and often not able to read people's intentions? (I have greatly improved on this one as I got older!)

You have already mentioned about obsessions which is a very common trait, often they're also related to a special interest or interests. It is also common for aspies to suffer from anxiety and also for aspies not to like being told they're wrong, plus you mentioned about meltdowns. Do your meltdowns relate to this article because if so you are almost certainly on the autistic spectrum? (Note that even meltdowns can be controlled and often greatly reduced over time). Some aspies don't see mess and sometimes this can be worsened due to lack of motivation as depression is more common in aspies too, but it also possible to be the opposite and be especially tidy, not wanting anything out of place.

There is a lot more possible examples of traits and potential challenges that people on the autistic spectrum may face in normal everyday life, but many traits can be handled better over time and there's even some aspies that are very good at acting as if they're not an aspie at all (NT). You say you were self diagnosed via the Internet, I was wondering which test you used? The Aspie Quiz is a good one if you haven't done it already, but to get an accurate result please ensure you are careful to answer the questions as honestly as possible, in other words don't let yourself choose answers that you think an aspie would answer as you wouldn't be true to yourself. Please remember that not all aspies have all traits and the test allows for this too.

Welcome to ASPIESCentral!

 

[Streetwise]

Hi all!

I've recently self-diagnosed myself with Aspergers Via the internet. So I'm not 100% I'm a aspie, but it sounds like i do. I would like to get a proper diagnosis but not sure how much help I can get in this area ( I live in Hong Kong).
What help did you receive after having your diagnosis?

Can anyone here see if you think I have it? Or am I just highly sensitive?
I'm in my mid 30s, and I've always felt different. I had selective mutism all though my primary years and coming out of Selective mutism in my secondary years. I've always been anxious kid and had negative thinking. At school, as english was my second language I was always scared to say the wrong thing and to be laughed at. I thought it was because my home environment was a bit toxic too. Stressed out and busy parents. I felt neglected as a child.

My obsessions are art, astrology, conspiracy theories, animals, Tv shows.
I can research on the topic till I can research no more. I listen to youtube a lot whilst doing my art.

Negative thinking
I can't handle any criticism. If someone says something mean, or say something in a wrong way. I think about how much I hate them or they hate me. I have a meltdown, I even think about cutting them out of my life and and occasionally feel suicidal. I can't think rationally when my emotions take over. This can last for 1 - 3 days.

Messiness
I don't always see mess in the house. I think my husband has OCD and if he says something in the wrong way about something not put away, I might go into a meltdown.

In my 20s, I had a group of friends who I socialised which evolved around drinking and partying! This time helped me come out of some of my anxiety with drinking and smoking, but ended putting me in toxic and dangerous situations.

Now in my 30s I don't drink nor smoke. I feel that its really hard to relate to anyone, I thought before that people weren't on my wavelength. But now I'm thinking it's me? Or is this just what happens when u become an adult!?

I would love to know how to handle my emotions when I'm having a meltdown. Or even better not to start a meltdown. My husband says that I am like a child sometimes.

Looking forward to learning more.

Jo

 

[Cocoon]

Thanks for your response! & thanks for everyones welcomes!

I did the test it said I was NT with aspergers traits. I bookmarked the results page but its now not found! doh, I should've did some screen shots. o well.. I might do it again when I get free time

Yes I agree I should see a professional to get a proper diagnosis. It's not affecting my life in a big way so it's not urgent at the moment, but i've been listening to some aspie youtubers, and it just makes sense.
Meltdowns, forming sentences & communicating, relating to people.

I'm sensitive to people throwing things or dropping something that makes a noise. Don't like itchy woollen clothes, and tags. ( but who does)
No stimming. Maybe quiet voice? When sometimes talking i sometimes zone out ( maybe they're just boring? lol) It feels like i'm borderline. When I eat well and take supplements, i find that I'm less anxious.

It's only possible to make an informed guess based from the information given without a proper diagnosis, but from what you've written so far you do sound like you're more likely to be on the autistic spectrum. Also every person on the autistic spectrum is unique and will have varying levels of different traits while a few traits may barely even show at all, so you don't have to relate to all the following to be on the autistic spectrum:

Do you seem hypersensitive to sounds, light or touch? For instance perhaps you find certain sounds uncomfortable, you much prefer to sit in semidarkness or maybe certain fabrics are uncomfortable to touch?

Do you ever pace or rock back and forth, or do you find yourself doing any other kind of stimming? (please scroll down to the heading "Stimming" on the page link for more information).

Do people ever complain that you repeat yourself or keep going on and on about things?

Do people ever complain that the level of your voice is either too loud or too quiet when it sounds normal to yourself?

Do people ever say that your voice sounds different, with less or odd expression, perhaps even monotone?

Do people often say you're not listening to them or ignoring them when that's not your intention? Sometimes you might struggle to interpret a lot of information at once.

Has there been occasions where people have been offended by something you said or did when you can't understand what you did wrong? Sometimes people won't say anything when they're offended, instead they will simply avoid or show dislike towards you making it difficult to make friends.

Does it feel unnatural or even uncomfortable for you to give eye contact during a conversation?

Do you ever get anxious or find it uncomfortable doing certain tasks that involve starting communication, E.g. going up to the bar for a drink, making a phone call to someone you don't know?

Do you have poor motor skills? (I actually don't show this trait, but it is an issue for some aspies!)

Do you hate change more than most people and/or do you have strict routines that cause anxiety if broken?

Are you often the last person to notice changes to someone's appearance, E.g. when they have a new haircut?

Do you consider yourself vulnerable and often not able to read people's intentions? (I have greatly improved on this one as I got older!)

You have already mentioned about obsessions which is a very common trait, often they're also related to a special interest or interests. It is also common for aspies to suffer from anxiety and also for aspies not to like being told they're wrong, plus you mentioned about meltdowns. Do your meltdowns relate to this article because if so you are almost certainly on the autistic spectrum? (Note that even meltdowns can be controlled and often greatly reduced over time). Some aspies don't see mess and sometimes this can be worsened due to lack of motivation as depression is more common in aspies too, but it also possible to be the opposite and be especially tidy, not wanting anything out of place.

There is a lot more possible examples of traits and potential challenges that people on the autistic spectrum may face in normal everyday life, but many traits can be handled better over time and there's even some aspies that are very good at acting as if they're not an aspie at all (NT). You say you were self diagnosed via the Internet, I was wondering which test you used? The Aspie Quiz is a good one if you haven't done it already, but to get an accurate result please ensure you are careful to answer the questions as honestly as possible, in other words don't let yourself choose answers that you think an aspie would answer as you wouldn't be true to yourself. Please remember that not all aspies have all traits and the test allows for this too.

Welcome to ASPIESCentral!

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome,
What you describe certainly sounds Aspie-like. But its one of those things you want to be sure about. Study the symptoms, take free online self tests, talk to other Aspies (to see if you relate). Be aware that many medical professionals are not really very knowledgeable when it comes to autism in all its forms. Getting a proper diagnosis can take quite a while. Not all go through with it, and self diagnosis is sufficient for them (I am one such). It depends on whether having an official diagnosis is of some positive value or usefulness. In certain cases its actually better to hide it.