Already it begins...

[Bruce Stern]

I am supposed to start a job in 3 months, well, I thought I was until last week. When I went to the interview the goal was to take three months off between jobs and start in January. January is also when my partner is moving to another city to start her nursing school. Everything I thought was smooth. We bought plane tickets for a vacation Nov- early December. Last week got word they want me up there by November 15th, start work Dec 1st. I talked to the recruiter and he said we could work around this but the email I got today is pretty much full steam ahead for this date. It throws all our plans into a tailspin.

I wrote, re-wrote then saved the e-mail to the recruiter. Not sure at all what to say to the VP who wrote me about these dates. I don't know how to communicate these things without creating a bad impression. I'm frustrated because I discussed that in the interview, lunch and with multiple times the recruiter throughout the interview process.

Now I'm wondering if I communicated correctly. From my perspective I felt I was very up-front from the start. I'd rather cancel the trip and move up early than lose this job but it's going to be difficult financially and we really wanted the trip. I've been kind of beat-up emotionally after this last resignation. My main goal is not to say something I'll regret particularly since I haven't even started the job yet.

The best outcome would be to come at the originally discussed date, do the orientation early so I'm ready to go and still be able to have our trip and move at the same time. But in situations like this two things happen (a) I give in and resent it (b) get the outcome I want but make a bad impression in the process.

I feel so doomed. I constantly have these type of miscommunications when I think I'm really clear.

 

[Cosmophylla]

I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to know what to do.

Perhaps you could try writing the email but not sending it, and then asking your wife to check it over to see how it sounds to her. Or ask another trusted person to give their impression of it as an outsider. That can be fairly useful in making sure you get the tone right.

 

[Bruce Stern]

Hi, thank you! I ended up speaking to the VP and hopefully conveying my interest in this job and willingness to do whatever it took to get it going. In the end they're going to work around this trip although not happy (sounds like it conflicts with some year end goals they have).

 

[JoeK]

Hi, thank you! I ended up speaking to the VP and hopefully conveying my interest in this job and willingness to do whatever it took to get it going. In the end they're going to work around this trip although not happy (sounds like it conflicts with some year end goals they have).

Glad to hear it! I've been in this situation several times and for me it was always a "no win".

If I let them change the agreed terms on the fly, even for very good reasons, it soon degenerated into being unable to depend on anything they said. Definitely not the situation you want when your income is tied to the project.

If I stood firm on agreed terms, it may have been a trait they admired, but they preferred to admire it from a distance.