Advice wanted on family and 'addiction'.

[Ravkrat]

( no idea if this would be better placed on obsessions or not but eh)
for anyone that is a stickler for spelling and proper punctuation..im sorry...







Okay for awhile now my family has firmly believed that I am addicted to gaming,
a myriad of things led them to this thought but now its that if I buy anything related to games(lore-books and movies) then that is a sign of my continued addiction I've thought of a few ways to talk to them about this and the best idea ive come up with is to go through the family movie collection and pull out all the movies that tie back to video-games(star-trek,battlestar galatica,starwars,etc)then of course theres genres to consider >_> but eh if I do that it would probably come out has me being bothersome(not the word I normally use but its pg)

abit of background, I recently(last month) bought a halo three book set(the origin stories of the main-sides meeting and subsequent fighting, and the new halo movie

 

[King_Oni]

Is it gaming that you're addicted to? Or is it just that you crave some proper escapism from reality?

There's nothing wrong with retreating in some fantasy world. Before gaming people did it with books.

What your family should understand is that nowadays it's all different. Where you had a handful of books or tv shows from a franchise back in the day, these things just get bigger and bigger. Blame it on being commercial. Expanded universes are becoming a bigger thing with all kinds of "companion books" and whatnot.

Here's an example; Harry Potter. The books turned into movies. But now that the movies have ended, what else is there to explore (well aside from videogames; which is the thing to do for almost any movie that has some kind of action). Apparently in Orlando there's a Harry Potter themed, theme park of sorts. And that's exactly the same notion of "expanded universe" and appealing to fans.

But reading your post here; I'm more worried your parents are even interested in hearing your side and it feels more like an uphill battle.

I however, suspect, that even if your parents would send you to a psychologist of any kind for treatment of your addiction, if you'd end up with a healthcare professional who isn't a fossil (I mean, the last time I saw a therapist he thought I suffered from an internet addiction because I downloaded movies; but he was pushing 60 easily; doesn't mean they're all like that though), but end up with a younger one, they'll probably tell you and your parents it's escapism and it's no different than 40 years ago, but the medium has changed (and tell you the same thing I just posted here, just with some fancy words thrown in).

 

[IrishAspie]

Cant say it better than King Oni, nothing wrong with enjoying what to many is now considered an Art Form.
Unless it's taking over your life in a negitive way I dont see it as an issue.

 

[Ravkrat]

aye they believe me addicted to gaming,though now that I think of it I use games more has a way of releasing pent-up anger and stress w/out showing it in the real-world,i basically end-up zenning out infront of the computer screen.. heres a funny story.
I once told my folks that I needed(bad choice of words but I was in a rush -.-) to release my anger and stress into a virtual-game.. my step-father told me point-blank that statement had the hallmarks of one who is both psychotic and sociopathic.. I still snicker abit when I remember that day then went on to suggest taking a hammer to a tree has a valid way of relieving said stress and anger... which makes me look more like a nutter? bashing a tree with a hammer, or playing video games.. I don't know maybe my mindset is turned more towards the virtual but.. really hammering a tree?

(edit after first post)

I've actually been running a small test of sorts.. almost two months back now I renewed my old runescape membership and have been playing it occasionally and watching(weird way to describe it but eh)my reactions to it and my patterns that form from playing it. so far it hasn't interfered to heavily with my daily routine other than a hour and a half of sleep that I miss. the bad part of this is that my folks have told me that all gaming is barred if I am caught playing then I am to be evicted from the house.. maybe I need to bring up my little 'test' with my pysch next time I see him he seems pretty chill though he is abit older(40-50 range I think)

 

[IrishAspie]

I've recently returned to gaming as a stress reliever as I'm coming to understand that my depression is likely tied to stress.
Smashing a tree with a hammer!!!! WTF, yeah we are the ones with a problem
Honestly if you did that they would be calling the white van or the police to restrain you.
Have you tried explaining that's its escapism like a good book or movie and that you cant be stressed while concenttrating on the game?

 

[Ravkrat]

I've recently returned to gaming as a stress reliever as I'm coming to understand that my depression is likely tied to stress.
Smashing a tree with a hammer!!!! WTF, yeah we are the ones with a problem
Honestly if you did that they would be calling the white van or the police to restrain you.
Have you tried explaining that's its escapism like a good book or movie and that you cant be stressed while concenttrating on the game?

I think half of the problem is the fact that I was semi-mute for four years and my voiced dropped to a whisper, throw in the odd accents ive learned from reading(damn you tolkein)I can stand right in front of them and say "good-morning" and they either continue on with what they were doing.. which means they didn't hear me -.- or they go 'eh what'd you say' in short Im terrible at communicating things.. outside of typing them

I've tried talking before about gaming but it usually ends up with me getting frustrated then just giving up and letting them think what they want

 

[AsheSkyler]

One of my in-laws is pretty anti-game. My husband has tried for years to point out that how they watch TV every single evening for several hours is no different than him gaming, with the added bonus that he at least is getting social interaction when he co-ops and chats with buddies as opposed to mindlessly staring at a TV. He has yet to win the war.

 

[Tia Maria]

I personally don't see your using internet games to release stress (& anger) as a problem. It's very important for everyone to find ways to successfully manage & cope with any stress & possible anger in their lives. Gaming is also a legitimate entertainment outlet. Buying books related to games is just a follow through on your interests ... another non-problem IMO.

But the issue would be the amount of time (&/or money) spent playing games online, & whether or not you have a healthy "balance" in your life.

Maybe you have the time to afford to allocate 30 or 60 minutes/day gaming. Or to instead set aside a block of time on a weekend day to play games online for 2-4 hours maximum. Plus you can incorporate some exercise or walking to assist with stress & anger relief.

Gaming, like watching movies, or anything else that is a sedentary activity should be enjoyed in moderation. A fun activity, a chance to relax, a reward for working hard. But like a delicious desert it cannot be the main or only meal. All this differs from say, playing sports obsessively, because physical activity is usually healthy for a person, both mentally & physically (assuming no injury!).

The additional issue with gaming (& all internet usage) is that, unlike watching TV or reading books, it IS scientifically addicting in the way it affects the brain. A few gamers have dropped dead after days long binges.

Diablo III death: Teenager dies after playing video game for 40 hours without eating or sleeping - Mirror Online

Gamer Dies In Internet Cafe After Three Day Gaming Binge, Hardly Anyone Notices

That is my personal concern with 'gaming' & all things internet ... for example, I am an adult & I find that I need to manage (& restrict) my own time on the COMPUTER including AC time. (Literally! ) Please check out this link about how computer use affects the brain, especially young developing brains. It is well documented beyond this one article.

Gray Matters: Too Much Screen Time Damages the Brain | Psychology Today

It's physically unhealthy to sit for too long, physically unhealthy to stare at a computer screen for too long, & on & on. Anything that is physically unhealthy will end up being a detriment to one's mental health. Likewise, mental & emotional issues can manifest into physical illness.

Like with so many things, it's important to do things in moderation, & also maintain a healthy life balance. That is not just some
cliched talk, it's a realism. Some people just naturally follow a pretty healthy life style. For others, myself included & many on the spectrum - it is necessary to consciously implement a healthy lifestyle & schedule ... to make that choice, commitment & work on the discipline to stick with it over time. It is said that doing something consistently for 30 (some say 40) concurrent days will implant a new positive 'habit'.

People on the autistic spectrum already face sensory issues, commonly have trouble sleeping, & are at higher risk for mental & emotional co-morbid illnesses. The value of maintaining one's best mental & physical health through healthy life style practices cannot be underestimated.

The bottomline is that you can enjoy gaming, but you'd be wise to self-manage your actual time online, & also find other outlets & activities to supplement your repertoire of hobbies & things to do. (And also include some daily physical activity if not already.)

Please check out these links when you have time just to educate yourself further.

Too much internet use 'can damage teenagers' brains' | Daily Mail Online

How computers can harm your children's future... by damaging their brains | Daily Mail Online

How Parents Can Help Kids Sleep Better - US News

Want to Sleep Better? Unplug First - US News

Mindfulness training helps teens cope with stress and anxiety - The Washington Post Mindfulness-training-helps-teens-cope-with-stress-and-anxiety

What Does Mindfulness Meditation Do to Your Brain? | Guest Blog, Scientific American Blog Network

Dr. John Sarno has written several good books about the mind/body connection as to pain & physical health.
The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain: John E. Sarno M.D.: 8601401352037: Amazon.com: Books

And now I must take my own advice & get moving!! LOL!

 

[Ravkrat]

theres a gym in town(community college one but its cheap enough) that I can go to once I move into an apartment in town,that and I plan on joining the gaming industry(game programmer if I can ever get my stuff set-up again)

 

[wyverary]

I used to be somewhat disdainful of those who got way into video games. That changed once I started checking out video games for myself. My mind is consistently blown by the technology, the artistic talent, and the time that goes into creating these worlds that are so deep I would never have imagined possible. I don't know where the line to "addiction" might lie, but I can certainly understand how someone could get immersed in them, and I think that's perfectly legitimate.

As to how to approach your family about it, though? I'm at a loss. All I can offer here is some validation on your side, heh.

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

Is there a problem being addicted to games? Out of all the things in the world seems minor to me. Budget your money and don't let it get in the way with work or school. You can't get more games if you don't make the money to buy them.

Far better than your family bailing you out of jail due because of mistakes of over drinking or drugs.

 

[Tia Maria]

theres a gym in town(community college one but its cheap enough) that I can go to once I move into an apartment in town,that and I plan on joining the gaming industry(game programmer if I can ever get my stuff set-up again)

That's a good idea, & in the meantime even walking is very worthwhile exercise.

If you become a gaming programer that's excellent ... make a career out of something you love to do for fun! Just keep moving because all programmers (& any office worker!) is sitting too much. It's scary actually. And if you're gaming/programming for whatever # of hours/day, you can incorporate some other hobbies including physical activity into the rest of your day.

It's not that gaming is bad, it's that it's unhealthy for anyone to be too sedentary, & also unhealthy to spend too many hours per day staring into a computer (despite the fabulous graphics, fun etc..) I think you got that point.

I think that if your family was made aware of the following they should hopefully feel more comfortable that you have things under control.

1) That you can actually make a career out of your gaming & IT skills & knowledge,
2) you yourself understands the dangers of over doing it & plan on self-managing your time on-line,
3) you're taking good care of yourself health wise, and
4) your gaming does & will not (as others mentioned) interfere with important responsibilities or other commitments such as school, work, family obligations etc....

I would explain to them that since games are one of your favorite interests or hobbies, that being interested in related books & movies is natural, & actually a good thing, because the only addicting thing about gaming is sitting in front of the computer doing nothing but gaming for too many hours on end to the exclusion of anything & everything else. If you self-manage your actual screen time, the fact that your main interest remains gaming topics is really not an issue.

That would be like telling someone whose favorite pastime is gardening that they cannot (or should not) budget their extra spending money towards purchases of gardening books & supplies.

As far as others comparing video game addiction to drugs or alcohol, or landing in jail .... DUH. It goes without saying that those are BAD things that people who wish to be productive, possibly successful, & especially happy in life would want to avoid! I personally would never use the 'well, it could be worse' argument to justify something. Example: Hey, you burned down the house. Well, I didn't burn down the whole neighborhood.

Another thing I just thought of too .... when a gamer is online playing, they are spending time isolated & away from the rest of the family. It is not a shared activity. Even people sitting in a room together reading different books can feel like they are still spending some quiet time together. But a gamer gets intensely involved in a world outside the family unit which can become a negative factor in personal relationships when the gamer doesn't spend time with their loved ones. Just something to keep in mind for the future.

 

[Tia Maria]

Is there a problem being addicted to games? Out of all the things in the world seems minor to me. Budget your money and don't let it get in the way with work or school. You can't get more games if you don't make the money to buy them.

Far better than your family bailing you out of jail due because of mistakes of over drinking or drugs.

Gaming is NOT bad, but it is unhealthy to be 'addicted' to anything, including gaming. And the nature of addiction means it will interfere, eventually, with other things that contribute to leading a more fulfilling life. Thus the well-worn saying, 'everything in moderation'.

 

[tachyon]

theres a gym in town(community college one but its cheap enough) that I can go to once I move into an apartment in town,that and I plan on joining the gaming industry(game programmer if I can ever get my stuff set-up again)

Ravcrat I highly recommend doing some gym work, but get instruction on how to use the weights or you can do yourself some bad injuries.
I've integrated it into my routine (Mon, Wed, Fri & Sat) and find that not only do I feel really good after a session, but feel quite aggravated if it looks like I will not find the time (fortunately that's rare)

I wish you luck with getting work in the gaming area - by the sound of it you would be getting paid for doing something that love

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

When I don't like my family's computer absorption, it's because I feel shut out. I can't get excited about gaming or comics or whatever. Do they see enough of you? Do you still have enough interests in common with them so that they feel they matter? (These questions presume good and supportive relationships to begin with, and that it isn't the case that you need to escape them.)

My son has remarked that gaming strongly reinforces teamwork and communication with people he can't see or know except through a console and headphones. That does have utility in the real world.