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Advice needed! Handling relationships of different neurotypes.

Hello everyone! I'm a neurotypical girl and I need some advice on a topic regarding my current boyfriend who is on the spectrum. He has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and depression. Our relationship has been going very very well and I don't want to mess it up, since I'm very deeply in love with him at this point. I should also probably state that we are both of young age and haven't been seeing each other for a long time.

How can depression affect our relationship and how can I help him not feel like a burden to me?(Because apparently sometimes he does). Should I be concerned that he doesn't talk about his every-day struggles with Asperger's and depression that much?

Thanks for your help! I would appreciate any advice on the matter.
 
Hermione Granger is probably neurodiverse, so perhaps you are too? It shows up differently in women. It's hard for us to advise you, because you are each a unique individual who we do not know. But my idea would be, read up on Aspergers /ASD 1, and this may help you by learning more. Also read up on depression of the type he has. Additionally, work on your own happiness and self development, and be a good friend to him.
 
It sounds like you love him a lot! Welcome here and I hope you can find support and answers :)
 
My advice: keep the lines of communication open. For me personally, when I’m upset or talking about something that makes me very emotional, I prefer to communicate in writing so I can carefully review my words and make sure they convey what I want to say. I can’t speak for your boyfriend, but it’s helping for me.

Is your boyfriend seeing a therapist for his depression and ASD? If so, you could check with him to see if he feels comfortable bringing you along for a session (provided his therapist is open to this too). Most of my therapists have been very open to this, but your mileage may vary. The therapist can do some explaining on how you can help, but also how you can look out for yourself, because being with someone that’s going through depression is taxing.

As for how to make your boyfriend see you don’t see him as a burden: that’s tricky. As a veteran depressed person (still waiting for my medal in the mail ;) ) I can say that depression makes you feel like you’re a burden to your loved ones and no one can say or do anything to change your mind.

TLDR: keep communicating, see if you can join him for a therapy session and don’t forget to take care of yourself too.

Best of luck!
 
Until you can meet again, perhaps the best thing you can do is be a good listener and just let him talk about whatever he wants to. Also, maybe keep reminding him how he is helping you get through these difficult times.
 
I don't think it's a problem that he's not talking about those things. And I don't think there's anything you can do about him feeling like a burden, other than reassuring him whenever appropriate. Since he has depression, he's going to feel things like that, regardless of what you do.
 

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