Addicted To Roleplay But Lonely!!!

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I don't know if I could do this anymore! I can't keep going through this stress! I know I have a roleplay addiction, but it's the only thing that calms me and helps me escape the stresses of the loud, stinky world of sensory torture I'm living in!

But there's always a problem when I get on to roleplay with a friend. They either leave early at the start of roleplay, they don't show up, or something happens to their computer. Most of the time, when I get on early, NONE of my friends are on for Feral Heart, and for Dragons Den, some may be on, but they're ALWAYS AFK.

Roleplay is the only thing I have to do on the weekends because there's nothing new on Netflix to watch, and even when I try to watch Netflix or YouTube videos, I run out of things to watch, and the noise from outside tortures me! I have to wear my earbuds all the time, so there's not much to do! I get bored easily playing videos games as I'm only by myself, and I can't go to see my RL friend anymore since my mother is working weekends now, and I have to keep my brother.

Plus, my friend is all the way in another city, and I don't want to drive that loud, rumbly car on the weekends. Roleplaying is all I have on Fridays and Saturdays, and anything else I try just gets me bored! I know I seem desperate, and the roleplay friends I do have think I'm just begging, but that's BECAUSE I HAVE ANXIETY! I can't help that, and roleplaying is the only thing that calms me because if I get bored, it turns into depression!

I always end up finding myself bored and lonely with no one to roleplay with, and I can't stand it anymore! I can't give up roleplaying altogether because it's an addiction that calms me down because I'm always stressed out!

I can't resort to drinking or smoking because I. I'm only 19, and drinking will destroy my liver, and II. smoking will destroy my lungs, and I have ENOUGH problems! I just need help! A friend? Someone? Anyone!? I'm all alone here! Every site I get on is DEAD! I join, and I'm immediately all alone, even when I TRY. It just doesn't work! I'm losing my mind here!

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Ever thought about doing table top RPGs? There are places online to go to, I think. Personally I host game sessions with my friends. I do over to theirs or they come to me. Planning a Werewolf the Apocalypse game soon.

For me I went into playing games because I found reality boring. But my world became smaller and smaller and when I realised it I became too depressed and anxious to get out of. Wasn't until my mid-twenties that I found myself wanting and able to do anything about it. Saw my doctor in the end.

 

[Misery]

Yeah, I'd second the idea of looking into something like D&D or whatever. That's roleplaying, and wildly popular for a reason. Granted, it's also a game instead of just making up stories, but that's probably part of why it grabs everyone's attention so easily, since it adds alot of structure and challenge. Overcoming the challenges and puzzles with the characters you create and the stories you tell just increases everyone's attachment to the whole thing. And yes, it can be done online though it's a bit more complicated that way, but not by that much.

The problem with the idea of really basic roleplaying, at least as I'm looking at the concept here, is just that: it's really basic. The sort of thing that alot of people just get bored of quickly. I dont RP at all, but if I did, it probably wouldnt be for very long without some real structure behind it.

Things like D&D, however, are freaking notorious for the fact that people DONT lose interest in it. If anything, many of them spend too much time doing it, instead of too little. I know a couple of people that do this. Their D&D sessions are like 5 hours long.

Now that all being said: With activities that REQUIRE another person in order to work, you cant just expect those activities to be available for you to do at any hour of the day. You get to do them when others are also ready to do them... that's the downside. And if those others arent in the mood, or something like that, on a particular day, well... tough. You cant do anything about that.

It might not be a bad idea to try looking into some other additional hobbies to try beyond these things.

 

[John M]

I started role-playing (DnD) back in the 80s. It was nice for me because it gave me a framework for interacting with other people that was understandable. I can easily understand your angst if its the primary way you interact with others (it was for me when I was young). Are you in a position where you can join a role-play server of a MMOG? It's something of a craps-shoot but it may become a viable alternative if you're patient with the game.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I'm not sure what that is. I only play Feral Heart and Dragons Den for PC

 

[Misery]

I'm not sure what that is. I only play Feral Heart and Dragons Den for PC

Eh? D&D = Dungeons and Dragons. A "tabletop RPG", so to speak. The term RPG is thrown around alot by gamers, but in this specific case it's meaning fully applies. Well, to any such thing.

It's not an MMO. MMOs actually arent truly designed for roleplaying, which is part of why you see so few people doing it. They're designed for addiction. Indie-developed MMOs are less about that, however they still exist in a very constrained framework. You may have a creative idea on how to approach a situation, but unless that extremely specific action was already programmed in, you are unable to do it. You cannot take actions outside of what the program is capable of.

A tabletop RPG doesnt have such constraints. There are rules, but the players decide how they might apply to any given situation and if there may be exceptions.

If you're really that much into roleplaying, I *strongly* suggest looking it up, or other tabletop RPGs. I guarantee you, it's going to be far more interesting than what you're used to. Specifically, look up some stories from people that are into it. Some of the stories they tell get more than a little absurd... but these things are all about player creativity. You're given all the room you need to truly play out your character as you designed them, and be as creative as you want in the actions you take. It's a VERY expansive thing.

In the digital realm, the ONLY game genre that can come anywhere near that is roguelikes. But due to the extreme difficulty in creating such expansiveness in a videogame, they're usually rendered fully in ASCII, and much of the time are meant for singleplayer. They're the closest you can get, but they still have big limits.

Even if you dont have friends that play D&D (or whatever other tabletop game you choose to take an interest in, there are MANY of them), it's pretty easy to find and meet others who are really into it.

Hell, the only real reason I dont play it myself is that I cant sit still for that long. Gaming sessions with tabletop RPGs tend to be very long indeed. Not because the game requires it, but because everyone is just having such a good time.

Seriously. It's something new to you, and I understand that new things can be... difficult... for many of us to deal with, but it's going to be worth it to someone with your interests.

 

[Major Tom]

How about trying an online MMORPG, like world of Warcraft, there's tons of players and I've met some good friends from all over the world when I used to play. I even had friends come and visit me here that I met online!

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I'm not sure what that is. I only play Feral Heart and Dragons Den for PC

Oh man! TTRPGs put computer game so-called role playing games to shame with the amount of freedom you have. The vast majority of computer game RPGs put the genre to shame with the amount of shoehorning they do - limited responses, limited way to player a character. Heck, most non-RPGs games do a better job than RPGs! You're only ever limited to your own imagination and the constraints of the storyteller in TTRPGs! You can be who you want to be, do what you want to do - within reason.

TTRPGs are a great way to make friends in real life. It's also not unheard for people to meet their eventual girlfriend or boyfriend through these things. Usually at game and comic book stores they have sessions going on in the evenings and weekends.

There's a lot of drive behind Dungeons and Dragons but my personal favourite universe is the World of Darkness. Games like Vampire the Masquerade, Werewolf the Apocalypse. At its height VTM was more popular that D&D. Brought in loads of new people to the scene like goths.

There's also live action games. Probably too much for you to handle given your sensory difficulties but that looks like an amazing scene too.

Have a look at them all. There's hundreds of universes out there. I'm also interested in Call of Cthulhu though I don't own any material for it.

I'm a storyteller myself and I've spent 10s of hours putting together a world for the players to interact with, NPCs, scenes and places, cut scenes. I put music in the background to make scenes memorable.

If you're interested in a world like Vampire the Masquerade, I suggest you pick up Vampire the Masquerade - Bloodlines off of Steam. It's about £15, cheaper in the sales of course. You need the unofficial patch to make it playable. It's the best computer game RPG I've ever played, closest thing to a TTRPG IMO. Often referred to as a cult classic.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

The game or amount of people isn't the problem. There are still tons of people on Feral Heart. Not sure about Dragons Den, but Dragons Den allows you to do more like kill stuff and get cool items, do so quests, people get together for games to win cool items, etc. The only problem I'm having is that I'm an outcast, and the friends I do get end up too busy to roleplay or are with their own groups. New people I just meet don't ever even come backback. It's like they're here for one day, and then they disappear forever. It's the people in games that's the problem. No one likes me.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

The game or amount of people isn't the problem. There are still tons of people on Feral Heart. Not sure about Dragons Den, but Dragons Den allows you to do more like kill stuff and get cool items, do so quests, people get together for games to win cool items, etc. The only problem I'm having is that I'm an outcast, and the friends I do get end up too busy to roleplay or are with their own groups. New people I just meet don't ever even come backback. It's like they're here for one day, and then they disappear forever. It's the people in games that's the problem. No one likes me.

Well you are just pixels on a screen in those games. TTRPGs puts you in the same room and you're able to socialise in and out of the game. People get to know you.

 

[Misery]

The game or amount of people isn't the problem. There are still tons of people on Feral Heart. Not sure about Dragons Den, but Dragons Den allows you to do more like kill stuff and get cool items, do so quests, people get together for games to win cool items, etc. The only problem I'm having is that I'm an outcast, and the friends I do get end up too busy to roleplay or are with their own groups. New people I just meet don't ever even come backback. It's like they're here for one day, and then they disappear forever. It's the people in games that's the problem. No one likes me.

Actually it's probably partly the game's fault. Perhaps MOSTLY it's fault.

I went and looked at one of those two games after you mentioned them. This "Feral Heart" with "tons of people". It had less than 300 people on it at the time (as I type this, and it's the middle of the day). That... that's nothing. When it comes to online games, that's "utterly dead". No... worse than that, it's a freaking mummified corpse that nobody has uncovered yet. MOST gamers of any type will not stick with a dead online game for long, if at all, no matter how enthusiastic about it they may be. You say you're an outcast, but I dare say the game itself is the outcast here. And something like that doesnt exactly encourage it's players, few as they are, to really take any of it seriously.

On top of that, MMOs seriously arent about roleplay. The people that stick with an MMO for a long time arent interested in that: They're interested in the grind. The very idea of true roleplaying is almost foreign to *most* MMOs. I've played more MMOs than most people have even heard of.... and NONE of my experiences with them, over probably 15 years, involved ACTUAL roleplaying. A smaller indie game like one of those you mention might get away with it for a little while... but it's trying to do something that it's genre seriously just isnt meant to, with a lack of a heavy publisher behind it to keep the momentum going. Even the most skilled of developers cant keep that up for long. It's no wonder players dont stick around!

Also, the things you mention there are common to ANY game. Kill stuff, get items, do quests... that's not new. It's barely even "interesting". But again, you're extremely restricted in an online game. You get to use the attacks and abilities they already gave you, and that's it. You cant come up with your own tricks or solutions. This level of restriction means less possibilities for the player, and less possibilities means lower attention spans for games like this. THAT is why tabletop games do so well. There are no restrictions. Let's say you're a big guy with a sword, right? What happens if that sword shatters? doesnt matter why... it just shatters, breaks into many jagged shards. In a video game, those shards would effectively be "particles"... they might react as physics objects for a bit, so that you can watch them bounce off of things and be amused, but other than that, the instant that sword shatters, it's effectively removed from the world. You cant DO anything with those particles because chances are, the programmer did not give you that option. They cant program every bloody idea, after all.... they just dont have the time or resources for that. But in a tabletop game, in that exact same situation you could get creative. Wanna pick up a bunch of those shards and start flinging them at foes like shuriken? Sure, why not? Crunch the shards up into a fine powder, and maybe throw THAT at an enemy, see what happens? Sure, why not? Take them with you and melt them down into counterfeit coins later? A sketchy move to be sure, but go ahead! Hell, take some of the bigger pieces and tie them together to make the world's stupidest rope flail, if you want (just dont expect it to be very effective!). These games seriously give you the creative room to do that, or whatever else you may think of. But video games do not, because they cannot.

And on top of that, MMOs dont really foster group permanence. I've never.... ever.... EVER seen, heard of, or been in a group of players that REALLY stuck together from one play session to the next, without those players also being close friends in real life. The closest you can get to that is the idea of guilds, and you dont get true guilds in tiny games like those. But even guilds dont REALLY do that. You say it's your fault that these players dont stick specifically with you, but I say... nah, it isnt. It seriously just doesnt happen much even in games with LOTS of players (and by "lots" I mean "millions").

Like I said, it's really easy to find people that are into tabletop RPGs, and many of those players will totally stick with those, for years and years. What's more, they will stick together as a group... that's part of the experience. On the other hand, it's damn near impossible to find people that are into the game's you've already mentioned here... hardly anyone knows of them and hardly anyone sticks with them, and they sure as hell wont stick to specific groups, nor will they be close to each other. Even freaking World of Warcraft doesnt manage THAT one.


Seriously. You're going after these couple of games you mention, looking for something that they very literally are not equipped to give you. That's why we've been suggesting these tabletop RPGs... because they are ENTIRELY DESIGNED around the very idea that you want, AND are truly equipped to deliver on it. ....Also they actually have a real playerbase. Something like D&D, or all sorts of others, have a bazillion fans out there. Hell, it's VERY rare that I say "D&D" and someone DOESNT know what it is. That's how popular it is, and that's just that one specific game.

 

[some/aspies/need/hugs/13]

If you are not yet up for the tabletop route you could try RuneScape I actually play it along with millions of other players and you can be anything you want within reason like me I love crafting, questing, killing, dungeon crawling, character optimization, and being out of the normal methods of play.... Also there are other games that are popular on PC. Some great ones I play include the elder scrolls series though the online version is somewhat limiting compared to the single player versions. for more modern times there is fallout and it's online version fallout 76. The only downsides are that these games perform better on consoles which is how I play them and on PC they take a serious amount of processing power and internet speed for the MMO versions