A tribute to crushes and infatuations

[Owliet]

That is just awful, kids are the worst sometimes. Kids have a tendency to do cruel things like that, I have seen similiar things growing up.

Yes, I can ascertain this. Then they manipulate situations to make it seem like their actions were not cruel. NT kids learn how to do this young.

 

[Forest Cat]

Yes, I can ascertain this. Then they manipulate situations to make it seem like their actions were not cruel. NT kids learn how to do this young.

It`s especially bad when you have a crush on someone or fall in love I think and someone finds out. Kids will mock you and do the worst possible things and then laugh about it to your face. Terrible.

 

[Owliet]

It`s especially bad when you have a crush on someone or fall in love I think and someone finds out. Kids will mock you and do the worst possible things and then laugh about it to your face. Terrible.

Or worse, they’re your friend and knows how much you like the person but they persuade you to tell your crush first, and then swoop in afterwards.

 

[Shamar]

Middle school crushes are tortuous things! Appearantly I show my every thought on my face and I got bullied by some of my crushes. One boy set me up so that he could publicly humiliate me. He had his friend slip me a note to meet him by my locker. When I got there this toad had gathered his friends and made a big show of mocking me for my crush. Nasty little toad.

Experienced it all. Simply because I couldn't talk to others or fit in. Picked on, bulled, set up for public humiliation (repeatedly). All I had for a social life were my fantasies. A crush in many ways is a kind of fantasy. When you are desperate for or friend (or at least someone on your side), or someone to date, fantasy becomes all you have.

 

[Callistemon]

...I was never one for celebrity crushes. I always found celebrity crushes kind of icky. Like everyone drinking from a communal cup that is never washed. I simply can't fancy everyones fancy. It is unhygenic!

I am STILL rolling around on the floor laughing whenever I read this, or recite it in my mind. It's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time, and I totally agree. It's such an excellent way of putting it, and sums up what I've never quite found a way to express myself, so perfectly. I will quote this for the rest of my days...

 

[Aspychata]

What a jerk! I’m sorry that you had this experience.

Wow. @Suzette
That was so mean. I had a young guy in elementary school come up when l was on a swing enjoying my alone time, and grab my long hair as l was swinging. They are little toads in school. Sadly, a lot of men never outgrow this immaturity.

 

[Judge]

I crush on special interests. That's probably why l am here at this forum. Cooking is a crush for me. Different types of exercise is a crush. Not really into crushes involving people. Lol

Stands to reason. Exercise and cooking can't break your heart.

Ok, cooking does kind of break my heart if I stick my neck out and really try to cook- or bake!

 

[Aspychata]

Stands to reason. Exercise and cooking can't break your heart.

Ok, cooking does kind of break my heart if I stick my neck out and really try to cook- or bake!

True that.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

Sigh, despite being asexual, I am quite the romantic. I don't remember having any crushes in kindergarten. I did have a crush on my friend from 8-13 (probably reached its peak when I was 11-12). She was good friends with two other boys and we would hang out occasionally, all four or us two. I knew I was 2 in the order of friends and I knew at least buy no. 3 had asked her out. I did eventually ask her, but she said I didn't have enough muscles, and also said I needed more confidence, and that instead of asking for stuff, I should take it. I might have taken one kiss, but I honestly don't remember.

In pre-high school (for 13-15 year olds) I had a more typical crush. It was a pretty friendly and fiendishly clever girl. I had absolutely no confidence or friends at the time so I never seriously considered making anything of it. I was also so ignorant of the social dynamics in my class that I had no clue if she was in a relationship or not. I really appreciate how before an end of year party, the main organizers wanted to use helium balloons. One guy stood up and protested because helium is a limited resource which shouldn't be used single use balloons, and I protested as well since he made some good points. This girl was the only other person to protest as well, and she didn't really know either one of us. At the end of school yearbook we all wrote messages in each other's books, and I wrote her a poem (not a love one) but left it unsigned, so that she would have to remember it was me who wrote it if she read the book again.

I didn't really have strong crushes with anyone in high school, but I went to Serbia on exchange for a year (I'll write about it eventually), and there I met my future (ex)-girlfriend. I definitely had a pretty strong crush on her, but I was also perfectly happy to just be friends. A friend we had in common had introduced us. She told me "I have a nice friend I would like to introduce you to", while to her, she said "I'm going to introduce you to your future boyfriend!". Turns out she was right. We didn't become a couple till over a year later though, when I had returned to my home country. She said she noticed that I had a crush on her about half a year after we got to know each other, while she started falling in love with me about a month before we got together. She was the one to ask me (which is good, since I never would have asked her).

More recently (after that relationship was over), I started falling in love with my friend. I wasn't interested in her at first (and besides, she was in a relationship), but during a Christmas test period when I was feeling really lonely, I missed her and all our conversations together, and I could recognize that I connected with her in a different way and more strongly than even my ex (emotionally that is. My ex knew me much better). Her relationship had ended, she started a new one, and then that also ended, and so I had decided that after the period, I would reveal my feelings. I knew we were totally incompatible (she is really, really into sex, particularly of the penetrative kind and adores her job at a sex accessory store) but I thought maybe we could find some sort of compromise since I'm not a jealous type at all. I just wanted a bit more intimacy and felt like my emotions were suffocating. Fortunately, she started a third relationship, this time with a guy who would never have gotten to know her if not for me. They seem really comfortable together and I am happy for them. The guy is quite kind from what I know of him, so I wish them the best.

The last one is another girl on the spectrum. I had a slight crush on her and we regularly met up after class or during breaks. Like me, she hasn't been diagnosed, but she has even more obvious traits and stimming than me. I'm at about 100% certainty she is there, and she is also asexual. However, my crush on her has vaned, and at the moment I'm quite happy to just be friends with her. I also know she has pretty bad anxiety issues where she will completely shut down if something stresses her out so I don't want to take any risks.

I think that at the moment, I'm not at a healthy enough place mentally/socially to sustain a relationship and the last one turned quite toxic so next time I want to do it right. I'm an asexual male though, so I know I'm quite the catch when the time is right .

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

My first crush was in preschool to a red headed boy named Bernie. He was my best friend for a long time, and he used to pick me daisies from the grass. That is, until he grew into the natural pre-k aversion to girls.

One day, on the playground, he exclaimed that his parents named him "Burny" because his red hair was made of fire, and he liked to burn people with it. After that day, if I got anywhere near him, he'd chase me and roar that he was going to burn me with his hair. lol

********

My next crush was in second grade, to a boy named Tony. He lived down the road from me, and came to school every day wearing Wranglers, a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and a bandanna.

When the bell would ring for recess, he'd run to the door, to hold it open for all the girls. Then when the bell rang to go back to class, he'd pick two girls to hold hands with back to the classroom. Not in a romantic way, mind you. He was trying to be a gentleman, because he had been taught that cowboys always take care of ladies.

All the girls just adored Tony. Plus he had his own horse, which made him so much cooler.

The boys made fun of him and called him "Tony Baloney", but the girls called him "dreamy".

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

There have been many crushes over the years but I was never one for celebrity crushes. I always found celebrity crushes kind of icky. Like everyone drinking from a communal cup that is never washed. I simply can't fancy everyones fancy. It is unhygenic!

Yeah, I agree about celebrities. Yuck! Such toxic messes!

You know, my daughter just recently asked me a question that made a lot of sense. She asked, "Do you think that a lot of celebrities have drug problems because of all the plastic surgeries they get? You know how bad your body hurts after you have surgery? I wonder if movie stars are in a lot of pain, all the time, from all their medical procedures, and that's why they start doing drugs."

 

[Kalinychta]

There have been many crushes over the years but I was never one for celebrity crushes. I always found celebrity crushes kind of icky. Like everyone drinking from a communal cup that is never washed. I simply can't fancy everyones fancy. It is unhygenic!

I get celebrity crushes, but only on people who have been dead for many years. Like I’ve always had a huge crush on Lord Byron. Man’s been dead for 200 years, so not too many people are drinking from that particular cup anymore—it was washed and put back in the cupboard long ago.

I also get crushes on characters in old novels.

 

[Rodafina]

Like I’ve always had a huge crush on Lord Byron.

That's awesome (being serious).

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Crushes can be fun, but are ultimately empty for me if they don't turn into anything. It's so easy to get lost in a safe fantasy.

I think they can tell us about what we really want, versus things we like, though. Sometimes we're attracted to traits or people we wouldn't want actual relationships with.

I used to have a real crush on Barbara Stanwyck, an old actress who played scheming femme fatales in The Lady Eve and Double Indemnity. Her characters had an exciting meanness I would never look for in myself or other people. It was interesting to note and also utilize self-discipline in not pursuing someone like that, especially if I felt lonely.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I admit it. I am easy. No, wait! I mean, I develop crushes easily. Why is that?

My first crush was Tony in Kindegarten. He was the kind of tot that comanded attention. What drives the heart of a 5 year old? I no longer know but Tony, Scott and Theo all spent time in my heart before 1st grade.

By 3rd grade there was another Scott, Mike and Chris. By 4th grade we had settled in a very small town and I was in a state of unrequited infatuation for nearly every boy in class, and quite a few teachers, until I left school.

I still develop crushes. Give me a kind word and I will melt at your feet like an abused puppy and start imagining buttering your toast every morning.

I had one infatuation that lasted for a couple of decades. I imagined that he was my "soul mate" because I had built his image into unflawed perfection in my mind. A God. We had dated very briefly and life took him other places. So in my mind he became my tragic, unrequited and lost love. Years later I found out what he was really like and he lost his "God" status. Still, as flawed as that infatuation was, the fantasy of it got me through dome very lonely times.

There have been many crushes over the years but I was never one for celebrity crushes. I always found celebrity crushes kind of icky. Like everyone drinking from a communal cup that is never washed. I simply can't fancy everyones fancy. It is unhygenic!

I think I yearn for deeper connection to others. Our bodies and judgments create barriers that I feel keenly. I am always wanting someone to really see ME and I am always imagining I can see another too.

I have had both celebrity crushes and real life crushes.
One of my biggest celebrity crushes was river phoenix and I still love him platonic now and it sad he died at the viper club. And I miss him and thought he was a really good soul and handsome.
Also I have a little crush right now kind of platonic on Andy black. Well I know he is married but since I would not want to be with him but just find him cute and smart and lovely and talented he may not mind.
Anyway I had huge crushes when I was younger and I mooned over some guys forever like this stupid dreamboat named Tim foreverrr and sometimes I am like wonder if Tim ever liked me back but I am glad I dodged that bullet because he liked everyone at times and seemed to do bad things too.
And I liked this guy named Sean. He sat with me each lunch and i liked him quite a lot too in my early twenties I thought he was hot. Weird but it was actually not entirely romantic but sort of like an emotional crush i had on him and he did seem to care a bit at the time. But he was gay but at least he did not treat me too badly
And....I actually do like a lot of movie characters as ideal men well I like the two men in the holiday.
I like Jude law and how sensitive he is and sweet and intelligent and how he is a good dad with Mr napkin head
And Jack black grew on me a lot because he is so caring and nice and talented and they talk about music and everything and support each other.
I like Hugh Grant in notting hill.
And I always liked Tom hanks since young and gene Kelly. I never really has too much on a crush on gene Kelly though because I do not always go for dancers, I sort of like the regular sort.
I had crushes every year in primary school on the cutest boys with the gorgeous flop or dishy hair.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I had a crush on Bridgette bardot and Elizabeth Taylor who would not.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Yes I was always prone to crushes, sometimes these had aspects of being attracted to the person in a romantic or sexual way, but mainly I have a fondness for morally ethical people, and sometimes have met people especially at work who fit that description.

So I hero worship them a bit, and am honoured if they seem friendly towards me. I try to offer them support and like to have deep conversations with them. I don't find this happens so often now, probably because I mix with less people plus work less.

I did have crushes on people at school too, in a very similar way.

I am attracted to kindness, positivity and artistic natures like musos, street artists, graphic artists, people who skateboard, people who wear trucker caps, people who wear beanies as well, etc....
But I do not know if that means I would want an intimate relationship with them.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

"Still, as flawed as that infatuation was, the fantasy of it got me through dome very lonely times."

I think you hit the nail on the head there. For me it's the same. I am drawn towards someone who appears as a solution to my loneliness. My last and current crush was developed during a very troubled period in my life when I just wanted to feel less lonely. I question now if my feelings for her would even have arisen if I had met her when in a better frame of mine.
I'm not really sure these days if I "love" out of just loneliness, or if I "love" out of attraction.

Me too, easy to love out of loneliness
Because it gets too rough and it is nice to feel comforted by touch once in a while.

 

[Kalinychta]

That's awesome (being serious).

He was a badass, and Europe’s first cultural celebrity.

 

[tree]

When I was a child, I liked Stan Laurel and Harpo Marx.

Wouldn't say it was at the level of a crush or obsession.
I just enjoyed seeing them in the old movies.

Wished I could play the harp.
Read Harpo's autobiography, eventually, when I was 13.