I have a hard time putting sentences together. especially when someone is arguing with me or speaking over me. when someone is arguing with me about autism or speaking over me about it or trying to correct me about it (someone who isnt autistic) i get frustrated and then i lose my train of thought. then when they say "well everyone is a little autistic" i just...shut down. i feel defeated and invalid. is there a way to discuss this? does anyone else go through this? i dont like talking as it is. i try to use youtube and memes but they invalidate that too. keep in mind i dont like talking, but im constantly put in a position where talking is forced on me, which wears me out.
Welcome to the club. You have some good points here.
One,...the topic of emotions. For many people, emotions tend to "cloud the brain",...your logic and reasoning centers do not function well while in an emotional state. So what you speak of here, is a very common phenomenon.
Two,...
"Well, everyone is a little autistic." A toxic phrase. Sometimes it comes out of ignorance, sometimes out of compassion,...and sometimes out of disregard and lack of respect. However, I do understand the phrase,...and like most good lies,...comes out of some kernel of truth. Read enough about stereotypical ASD behavior, and sure enough,...you will know many neurotypicals with the same types of behaviors,...probably even more so than yourself. I had this very discussion with my own sister,...she literally said the same thing, but also added,...
"Well, everyone get's a label these days." You know, a little more salt in the wound,...and she's the sister I confide in the most,...go figure. I said,
"No,...you and I may have many things in common,...what separates us is not the 5, 10, 15 things that you transiently have,...it's the 150 things that I have that is pervasive." "It's all the things that I live with that never goes away no matter what." "I also actively hide a lot from you,...on purpose,...so that I will act normal,...for YOU,...so you will accept me." "When I say this, it may seem that I am disingenuous, that I am fake,...but I have to as an emotional defense from being rejected by the people around me." If you are good enough to trigger some compassionate, emotional response from them, you've done your job.
Three,...I have done this many times now with success with students and co-workers. Upon introduction,...just out yourself right away. I did this twice this week already, a student, and new employee. "
Just so you know, I am on the autism spectrum, so if you sense that I am a bit "off",..."15* off of cool",...that's what it is." "I have a high IQ, but my communication skills can be a bit behind my brain and I can have difficulty with my words." A bit of self-humor is helpful,...don't make it too serious,...just matter-of-fact. It's at that point, where I will change the subject to our plans for the day, so we don't have an awkward silence,...because most people don't know what to say after that announcement,...so move on from the topic. Every time, so far,...it's been a pretty cool experience, and that's all that needed to be said. Furthermore, the new employee this week,...she has Asperger's, as well,...she was hiding behind it,...now she doesn't with me,...win-win. The reason for outing myself at the beginning,...people will talk to other people behind your back,...they just do,...so just stop the rumors and false interpretations before they even start.
