A Little More About Myself

[Time of the Butterflies]

I've been doing so much better recently: I've started to write another story, which has been occupying my mind and imagination and keeping me busy. But today, it hit me: in about a month, I'll be going to college, away from everything I feel comfortable with. I have a roommate who's the complete opposite of me: careless, messy, disorganized, (straight,) and a drinker. He's one of those people who feels the unnecessary urge to say "bro" or "man" twice in every sentence, which I hate. I hate things like that—when someone asks if I'm "up" for something or even "what's up" or "how's it going" or any of those other fake expressions that mean nothing. Oh, and I also hate when people refer to physical money as "cash." Does it drive anyone else crazy?

Anyway, to get back on topic, I am starting to completely freak out about college. I have no one to talk to about this; I grew up with occasional friends who lasted somewhere around a year each. I'm realizing more and more that I don't have any social skills. I hate talking to adults because everything I say is fake, from "that's cool that your daughter's doing that!" to "you're going to have so much fun at college!" I only feel comfortable talking with someone I'm not friends with anymore and my sister—that's it. And they don't really know anything about me.

I have an INFJ personality, so there are many "layers" to me. It could be why I've always felt so, so different from everyone else, or I could have Asperger's. I just don't know. There's a lyric that describes how I feel: "And I have lived so many lives, though I'm not old." I don't listen to the type of music anyone else listens to (or very few people—I'm into the soundtracks from my favorite TV shows); I don't want to "party" and drink; I internalize things like TV shows, music, and my story; I want to live in the 1870s now, back when everything was so much simpler. My point is that I feel so much different from everyone else, and I always have. How am I supposed to fit into the college environment as someone so different from everyone else? Will I be able to make friends who are similar to me? What's keeping me from lying about who I am so that people will like me? I have always felt alone in this world, and I feel as though the only way that will change is when my true love comes along.

If you have read this far, thank you so much for listening to me deep thoughts; have a wonderful evening, night, morning, afternoon, or day. I am so thankful for this site.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Regular people often bore creative introverts to tears. You're not alone there. Well, you won't be alone if the other creative introverts are willing to venture from their secluded sanctuaries long enough to socialize.

You might luck out and find a little group of people like you. Might take some digging, but if it's a large enough college you should find some of your own kind there. The college I attempted was largely a technical/computer place, so the bubble-headed potheads were rare and I was surrounded by things I was interested in. It was easy to find people to hang with. If you're fairly passionate about your degree, your best shot at finding friends is in your core classes and not the junk classes. And I'd like to say that with fellows of your core classes you're likely to impress them more with what you know than how much alcohol you can chug. I had a nice little bunch of four I stayed with, and while my skill with research solidified my place in the bunch, I was treated like a friend and not a resource despite my awkwardness.

 

[Time of the Butterflies]

Regular people often bore creative introverts to tears. You're not alone there. Well, you won't be alone if the other creative introverts are willing to venture from their secluded sanctuaries long enough to socialize.

You might luck out and find a little group of people like you. Might take some digging, but if it's a large enough college you should find some of your own kind there. The college I attempted was largely a technical/computer place, so the bubble-headed potheads were rare and I was surrounded by things I was interested in. It was easy to find people to hang with. If you're fairly passionate about your degree, your best shot at finding friends is in your core classes and not the junk classes. And I'd like to say that with fellows of your core classes you're likely to impress them more with what you know than how much alcohol you can chug. I had a nice little bunch of four I stayed with, and while my skill with research solidified my place in the bunch, I was treated like a friend and not a resource despite my awkwardness.

Thank you for your kind words. People like us are so hard to find—I'm wondering if I'll ever meet a member of less than 1% of the population (maybe you've heard that statistic before; I don't know). But what if I can't find anyone like me? What do I do about my roommate when he brings girls into MY room? How am I supposed to tolerate all of that? It's all just so confusing to me.

 

[Tom]

If thats all you have to worry about consider yourself lucky.

 

[Progster]

Thank you for your kind words. People like us are so hard to find—I'm wondering if I'll ever meet a member of less than 1% of the population (maybe you've heard that statistic before; I don't know). But what if I can't find anyone like me? What do I do about my roommate when he brings girls into MY room? How am I supposed to tolerate all of that? It's all just so confusing to me.

I find superficial chit chat extremely boring too. That's not how I relate to people, and I can understand what you are saying. I don't talk to people unless I have something meaningful to say.

As for your roommate, I would suggest you agree to some house rules from the very beginning, such as letting you know in advance if he's planning on having company, or agreeing to private time for each person when the other person will not use the room. Bringing home a girl without telling you and then expecting you to suddenly leave is not okay to my mind, it's your space too and doing so would be disrespectful, but if you don't tell him in advance that this bothers you, he may do this, expecting you to be flexible and do him the favour. If this is too difficult and you are incompatible, then I would suggest getting a room of your own, even if it means paying more. I tried sharing a room with another girl at one point when I was at university, but it didn't work because I need my own space and don't like sharing at all, so I moved out and got my own room in a more quiet location.

 

[Beverly]

"Normal" people are boring blabber mouths most of the time. Sure I CAN chatter with them about how this is sick and that's rad, and I've got cash for whatever is on for tonight, etc... but it's boring, tiring and, annoying at best and infuriating at worst.

I'll tolerate such in a shared space but, my space is my space and, that will be my way. Be that my home, my hotel room, my bunk on the bus, whatever is my private space.

If you have to live with others, you've got to have rules and, you can't be shy about reminding them when they are breaking the rules they agreed to abide by.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Thank you for your kind words. People like us are so hard to find—I'm wondering if I'll ever meet a member of less than 1% of the population (maybe you've heard that statistic before; I don't know). But what if I can't find anyone like me? What do I do about my roommate when he brings girls into MY room? How am I supposed to tolerate all of that? It's all just so confusing to me.

If you can't find anybody to befriend, ya might have to turn to your characters and favorite books. I know they're not the same as a flesh-and-blood friend, but their company can be soothing all the same.

As for the roommate, um, well I should first say I'm not very politically correct. If I had some dolt that couldn't keep their date in their own bedroom despite any reminders about common decency, I would make his life a living hell until he moved out or I found a better place to stay.