Hello all so i was diagnosed with autisum at the tender age of 6. Most aspects of what autisum is for me are preety well controlled........ Apart from one! my sexuality (please bare with me on this one, some of what I'm about to write may be alarmingly obvious to some, but to me it's a point of utter contention, stress,anxiety and terror.)
So I don't like the idea of having sex with a man. When drunk I have said I think I'm gay to a few people but allways feel really ashamed the next morning. My active experimental phase cosnisted of squeezing some guys ass. And then being utterly terrified when this particular person actually tried to peruse me.
I notice woman more than men but I'm starting to feel like im noticing both less and less. I want a relationship with a woman, but my autisum makes it really hard to make any sort of impact on them. I seem to be obsessed with feelings of uncertainty and confusion about my sexuality. Although everything seems to point in one direction. I still walk into a room and think people are nudging their friends and making some comment about my sexuality. This has nothing to do with social stigma. All the family and friends who matter would except me whatever.
But why do these thought keep coming up? And has anyone else ever gone through or is going through something similar.
If you made it to the end thank you and I look forward to hearing your experiences or opinions.
So I don't like the idea of having sex with a man. When drunk I have said I think I'm gay to a few people but allways feel really ashamed the next morning. My active experimental phase cosnisted of squeezing some guys ass. And then being utterly terrified when this particular person actually tried to peruse me.
I notice woman more than men but I'm starting to feel like im noticing both less and less. I want a relationship with a woman, but my autisum makes it really hard to make any sort of impact on them. I seem to be obsessed with feelings of uncertainty and confusion about my sexuality. Although everything seems to point in one direction. I still walk into a room and think people are nudging their friends and making some comment about my sexuality. This has nothing to do with social stigma. All the family and friends who matter would except me whatever.
But why do these thought keep coming up? And has anyone else ever gone through or is going through something similar.
If you made it to the end thank you and I look forward to hearing your experiences or opinions.