• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

4th of July booms

I was watching a show and kept hearing these weird sounds. I was mystified until I finally figured out they were fireworks.
 
Absolutely can't stand fireworks at all. It's impossible to avoid them, and unfortunately here in South Berwick, it's a crappy town filled with drunks and tourists who don't know how to have a good time quietly. I find myself either yelling at the top of my lungs, or wanting to just disappear completely. My anxiety is untreatable, and there's no way out.
 
I’m far enough out in the country that they are noticeable but not loud. At least inside with the windows closed.

I long time ago I was in San Francisco on the 4th and for an entire week it sounded like a war zone. Everyone was shooting off fireworks and Roman candles in the streets.
 
justin_havu said:
Absolutely can't stand fireworks at all. It's impossible to avoid them, and unfortunately here in South Berwick, it's a crappy town filled with drunks and tourists who don't know how to have a good time quietly. I find myself either yelling at the top of my lungs, or wanting to just disappear completely. My anxiety is untreatable, and there's no way out.
Click to expand...
Justin, do you or a close, trustworthy friend, have a vehicle in which you could remove yourself from the "crappy town filled with drunks and tourists?" Also, how have you coped with untreatable anxiety in the past? It might be beneficial if you could think of the ways that you've been successful with triggering situations in the past. If you are unable to think about beneficial solutions, would it be helpful for you to contact a supportive and trustworthy friend or family member who knows about Aspies and understands how to help, knows what you are going through? I care.
 
@WhitewaterWoman, that's what Sacramento (about 90 miles inland from SF) sounds like nowadays. My mom's neighborhood has large lots and lightly trafficked streets, so everybody gets the loudest stuff they can find and the booming goes off for most of the night.

Sacramento is one of those places with lots of refugees from real literal wars-the old northeast side is full of people who fled America's misadventures in the Middle East, and who know what it's like to be chased by giant bombs-and I'm surprised that city doesn't have hopelessly psychotic people wandering the boulevards by sunrise on the 5th. The local TV news runs stories on how to keep your dogs from running off, and what to do if your dogs are gone by morning.

Up here, fireworks of all kinds are banned, full stop. The only fireworks shows in the entire area are in suburban Medford-the county fairgrounds and in Eagle Point. At the fairgrounds personal fireworks are sold and safe spaces are available to use them. Aside from that we mainly have stuff like parades and "fun run" micromarathons. I'm glad to finally live in a place where the house doesn't shake all night from the booms coupled with the terrified howling of dogs.
 
RemyZee said:
Ugh. The boom booms out tonight. Can't stand em.
Click to expand...
I was going to write this last night. I worry for a year. I live next to a destination fireworks show.

Every year I try to get through it. One year I put earplugs in and headphones over those and played something, it helped a lot but the stress was still bad. Last night I was nervous all day and gave up at night, stayed up and waited for it to be over.

I wish they would not happen. It is selfish because most people are really happy going to the shows so I should be happy but it is so hard for me.
 
grommet said:
I was going to write this last night. I worry for a year. I live next to a destination fireworks show.

Every year I try to get through it. One year I put earplugs in and headphones over those and played something, it helped a lot but the stress was still bad. Last night I was nervous all day and gave up at night, stayed up and waited for it to be over.

I wish they would not happen. It is selfish because most people are really happy going to the shows so I should be happy but it is so hard for me.
Click to expand...
I know that taking care of ourselves can seem "selfish." However, if we don't take care of ourselves, where would we be? I think that we can only truly be "happy" when we are taking care of ourselves. I know that when I'm trying to take care of others and it's at my own expense, I'm not really happy. Matter of fact, I can unconsciously or even consciously resent others's needs to be taken care of by me.
 
grommet said:
I was going to write this last night. I worry for a year. I live next to a destination fireworks show.

Every year I try to get through it. One year I put earplugs in and headphones over those and played something, it helped a lot but the stress was still bad. Last night I was nervous all day and gave up at night, stayed up and waited for it to be over.

I wish they would not happen. It is selfish because most people are really happy going to the shows so I should be happy but it is so hard for me.
Click to expand...
Definitely understand. Hope you got some sleep.
 
Coxhere said:
I know that taking care of ourselves can seem "selfish." However, if we don't take care of ourselves, where would we be? I think that we can only truly be "happy" when we are taking care of ourselves. I know that when I'm trying to take care of others and it's at my own expense, I'm not really happy. Matter of fact, I can unconsciously or even consciously resent others's needs to be taken care of by me.
Click to expand...

I think this is true. It is hard to respect my reactions to things though when I do not see examples of other people feeling they way I do. Hundreds of thousands of very happy people come to the fireworks show, so it must be a wonderful thing and something is wrong with me. That is reasonable thinking though it may be wrong.

I do very well in quiet. Once I visited my mother at her home, we sat outside behind the house and something seemed odd. I did not think of it for a while then I realized it was quiet. I listened, then I listened hard and I could not hear any sound, not even branches moving. It was beautiful and totally noise free. I was happy. It seemed like heaven.

But I know people love the loud fireworks and the bright lights. They go to a lot of trouble. They drive when it is crowded, hard to find bathrooms and it was cold last night but they seemed happy. It could be said people are different but they are not. There are so many of them and they are happy about the fireworks, I am a single person who is not because they bother me.
 
grommet said:
I think this is true. It is hard to respect my reactions to things though when I do not see examples of other people feeling they way I do. Hundreds of thousands of very happy people come to the fireworks show, so it must be a wonderful thing and something is wrong with me. That is reasonable thinking though it may be wrong.

I do very well in quiet. Once I visited my mother at her home, we sat outside behind the house and something seemed odd. I did not think of it for a while then I realized it was quiet. I listened, then I listened hard and I could not hear any sound, not even branches moving. It was beautiful and totally noise free. I was happy. It seemed like heaven.

But I know people love the loud fireworks and the bright lights. They go to a lot of trouble. They drive when it is crowded, hard to find bathrooms and it was cold last night but they seemed happy. It could be said people are different but they are not. There are so many of them and they are happy about the fireworks, I am a single person who is not because they bother me.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your response, grommet. Your comments take me back to a girlfriend in college. She asked me, "Are you outer directed or inner directed?" I was outer directed at the time but didn't want to tell her this. I was ashamed to be honest. Over the years- - - -and I am now 80- - - -I have become much more inner directed. I think it might come as a result of eight decades on this planet, but I really no longer care much what others might enjoy or even do. I'd rather enjoy and be by myself. I very much dislike fireworks, loud noises, and bright lights. I've become comfortable with myself about this. Having said all this, I want to support and care about you, at the same time.
 
grommet said:
I think this is true. It is hard to respect my reactions to things though when I do not see examples of other people feeling they way I do. Hundreds of thousands of very happy people come to the fireworks show, so it must be a wonderful thing and something is wrong with me. That is reasonable thinking though it may be wrong.

I do very well in quiet. Once I visited my mother at her home, we sat outside behind the house and something seemed odd. I did not think of it for a while then I realized it was quiet. I listened, then I listened hard and I could not hear any sound, not even branches moving. It was beautiful and totally noise free. I was happy. It seemed like heaven.

But I know people love the loud fireworks and the bright lights. They go to a lot of trouble. They drive when it is crowded, hard to find bathrooms and it was cold last night but they seemed happy. It could be said people are different but they are not. There are so many of them and they are happy about the fireworks, I am a single person who is not because they bother me.
Click to expand...
I know what you mean--silence can be so alive.
 
RemyZee said:
I know what you mean--silence can be so alive.
Click to expand...
grommet said:
I think this is true. It is hard to respect my reactions to things though when I do not see examples of other people feeling they way I do. Hundreds of thousands of very happy people come to the fireworks show, so it must be a wonderful thing and something is wrong with me. That is reasonable thinking though it may be wrong.

I do very well in quiet. Once I visited my mother at her home, we sat outside behind the house and something seemed odd. I did not think of it for a while then I realized it was quiet. I listened, then I listened hard and I could not hear any sound, not even branches moving. It was beautiful and totally noise free. I was happy. It seemed like heaven.

But I know people love the loud fireworks and the bright lights. They go to a lot of trouble. They drive when it is crowded, hard to find bathrooms and it was cold last night but they seemed happy. It could be said people are different but they are not. There are so many of them and they are happy about the fireworks, I am a single person who is not because they bother me.
Click to expand...
grommet, I think it's understandable to wonder what others think, see, and are interested in. You have written, ". . . .fireworks. . . .must be. . . .wonderful and something is wrong with me. That is reasonable thinking though it may be wrong." You went on to say, "It (beautiful and totally noise free) seemed like heaven." And you also said, "I enjoyed it." Isn't it just as easy to think/say that there's something wrong with most people because they don't like, don't enjoy ". . . .beautiful and noise free (like heaven)? Personally, I see it the other way around. I happen to think it's "reasonable" to think you are the one who is correct and most others are wrong for not appreciating, enjoying, and thinking that solitude and silence is golden. You are not "wrong." You are like others who are on a Pathway of Individuation. I think you are coming to see yourself as INDIVIDUAL and separate from everyone else, which is a good thing to be doing. Like other pilgrims going through life, you are bit-by-bit finding your Personal Way. It seems to me that those who are following the crowd don't understand what a Personal Way is. You do!
 
Coxhere said:
Justin, do you or a close, trustworthy friend, have a vehicle in which you could remove yourself from the "crappy town filled with drunks and tourists?" Also, how have you coped with untreatable anxiety in the past? It might be beneficial if you could think of the ways that you've been successful with triggering situations in the past. If you are unable to think about beneficial solutions, would it be helpful for you to contact a supportive and trustworthy friend or family member who knows about Aspies and understands how to help, knows what you are going through? I care.
Click to expand...
I'll be moving way up north at the end of August, so hopefully things will be a lot more quiet then. Can't drive due to my disability, and my 20/50 vision, even with glasses, makes driving impossible.

As far as my anxiety, nothing's ever worked in the past during an attack at all. Talking about it to anyone just makes it worse. I pretty much just have to suffer through it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom