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36 and still feeling like I did when I was 17.

A good way to start building confidence is to talk to your supervisor and ask them to schedule you around a day when you can attend one of those book club meetings.

You build confidence by doing things that make you uncomfortable. You get used to doing them and see that they aren't so bad after all.
 
Markness said:
I wish I could prove my parents wrong.
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This, on the face of it, might be taken as a motivator.

It doesn't seem to have inspired you toward anything
useful yet, though. You continue to stew over the
idea of "proving people wrong."
 
tree said:
This, on the face of it, might be taken as a motivator.

It doesn't seem to have inspired you toward anything
useful yet, though.
Click to expand...
They tend to dismiss any ideas I have and when I don’t succeed at something, I have nothing to show for my efforts so I deliberately avoid them.
 
I can’t express how frustrating my family members can be without apparently being the person in the wrong?
 
It truly hurts me that I can’t show my parents that just because I am on the autism spectrum doesn’t mean I can’t have a fulfilling social life and a girlfriend/wife.
 
Who says you cannot, being on the spectrum gives us different values. You just have to work out a path. I gave my youngest son a path for his education, he had a learning disability, following my path he got through college with a three year technologist diploma, Then he put together a path to getting a girlfriend, it worked got what he was looking for. No reason you cannot do the same, First step keep in mind all ladies do not share culture. American culture is not universal, not all women are the same, some like us Aspies. See Paul Dirac, very strange guy his wife found him as her brother knew Paul and he was an Aspie. My older brother was a strange guy even he found somebody. Sort of like Sheldon from big bang theory, boy did this show resemble my family, rather than four friends, four brothers, all science geeks.
 
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Ronald Zeeman said:
Who says you cannot, being on the spectrum gives us different values. You just have to work out a path. I gave my youngest son a path for his education, he had a learning disability, following my path he got through college with a three year technologist diploma, Then he put together a path to getting a girlfriend, it worked got what he was looking for. No reason you cannot do the same, First step keep in mind all ladies do not share culture. American culture is not universal, not all women are the same, some like us Aspies.
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My parents think I can’t and so do people who think like them.

I know that American culture isn’t universal. Speaking as an US citizen, even I don’t like a lot of aspects of it.
 
Your parents are probably pretty typical, I Would be willing to help you put together a plan, I read what I can on you and others. Women from different cultures would be a start. Some cultures have an affinity, for us, my son met an Albanian woman, If I had to pick a culture who likes, Aspies I would pick British culture, they like their eccentrics. Actually my wife is half British, half German.
 
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My first and only real girlfriend was living in the US and she was originally from Canada. She eventually moved back there and got married the last I ever heard from her.

My biggest struggle in terms of dating comes from not fitting in with the local culture.
 
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Markness said:
My first and only real girlfriend was living in the US and she was initially from Canada. She eventually moved back there and got married the last I ever heard from her.

My biggest struggle in terms of dating comes from not fitting in with the local culture.
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Not everyone in Texas is the same. There are people there who don't like or fit in with the so-called "culture" and would love to meet up with people like you. You gotta find them, Markness! That is your mission henceforth.
 
Mary Terry said:
Not everyone in Texas is the same. There are people there who don't like or fit in with the so-called "culture" and would love to meet up with people like you. You gotta find them, Markness! That is your mission henceforth.
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I have encountered people in Texas who are different. Sadly, things didn’t work out in the long term for many of these people. Either the communication attempts fizzled out, the other person had to move away, or they were nice at first but then something made them stop talking to me.

The most common occurrence has been communication starting off promising but then just suddenly ceasing for whatever reason.
 
Markness said:
I have encountered people in Texas who are different. Sadly, things didn’t work out in the long term for many of these people. Either the communication attempts fizzled out, the other person had to move away, or they were nice at first but then something made them stop talking to me.

The most common occurrence has been communication starting off promising but then just suddenly ceasing for whatever reason.
Click to expand...

Keep plugging along. They are out there. You have to find them. They're probably looking for people like you, too. You are so worthy of a relationship, genuine happiness and an independent life, Markness. Ignore anyone who says you are not.
 
Mary Terry said:
Keep plugging along. They are out there. You have to find them. They're probably looking for people like you, too. You are so worthy of a relationship, genuine happiness and an independent life, Markness. Ignore anyone who says you are not.
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How do people who went through the same things I did in high school and my 20’s get past them?
 
Again, I recommend that you continue reading A Guide to Rational Living.
And re-reading.
 
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