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3 weeks sober from alcohol

N2k12

Well-Known Member
Hey all, i would like to share my journey of sobriety, made it to 3 weeks so far! i am going through hell, mentally. my body feels tired and run down. i plan on not drinking booze ever again. I have been a drinker for 21 years. Not everyday though.

Are there any other drinkers or ex drinkers here? how did you get through it? please feel free to share your stories.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Welcome to your new life. Even if it is a rough beginning, it can lead you to places you’ve never imagined. I am sober from drugs and alcohol for 126 days.

I can’t tell you my long story now, because yeah, some days are hard and I am tired and fried. But that’s just it. On this journey of sobriety, we can learn new ways to deal with things that cause us trouble, stress, and worry. Like tonight, instead of drinking or using drugs like I would have in the past, I have a quiet space where I can think and process things, write here and stay connected to other humans a little bit. I pay attention to what I need and take care of it instead of just powering through and using alcohol and drugs as the fuel for that fire. It is a noxious fuel and it does not last. Instead, I am learning to gather the sticks and branches from all around and keep the fire going in that way.

Keep strong and keep writing about your journey. It helps.
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
I still struggle on many different levels on many different journeys. I am dealing with (mobbing) goggle it please.
 

Raggamuffin

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I'm on 1203 days sober with alcohol. With weed, I've been on and off for 18 years, 14 of which I've been smoking. I quit daily cigarette smoking nearly 15 years ago, so I use marshmallow leaf when I roll J's.

Alcohol use lasted around 7 years. I'd been tipsy once as a young teenager when on holiday with my family in Germany. That felt playful and light-hearted.

On the other end of the scale, in college I went to my first house party, hadn't eaten much all day and some tequila shots quickly sent me spiralling. I sat in the living room and the drunkeness was hitting me, but it was too strong and I didn't like it. Kicked out of my first ever house party within a few hours of arriving.

Threw up on the motorway/freeway when dad picked me up, and the wind swept the vomit all into the back of the car. A car my parents had bought a few weeks earlier. Ended up with alcohol poisoning, woke up - every time I moved it made me vomit.

Ended up retiring to the bathroom - lying on the carpet (odd - yet luxurious for a bathroom floor) and curled up in the fetal position I tried hard not to be sick, as by that point it was luminous bile. Ended up semi-passed out on my stomach on the bed. GP visited my bedroom, which was probably a tip. He injected me in my butt-ock and tut-tutted. Maybe at the state of me, or maybe my room.

I didn't touch alcohol for over 8 years after that event. And the shame of going back to my friends in college the following Monday. Apparently demanding cups of tea and bj's at the party. How delightfully cringeworthy. Alcohol abuse is higher with neurodiversity, as are addiction rates in general. But with alcohol I find it eased social fatigue and struggle. But if I drank too much, it would tip the scale and I'd go from being covertly autistic to 101% shameless, oafish, loud and proud autistic. But the Dutch courage that booze gives you is a false economy, like any addiction.

Then, one Christmas with my family, and not smoking weed at the time, I had a few beers, felt that warm buzz, like the time I got tipsy in Germany as a teenager. That was it. Began drinking regularly after that. My usage ramped up in the last 4 of the 7 years drinking. Especially when I started a 4 on 4 off job. Then, when me and my ex bought a house - signing those documents my gut was screaming "don't do it". Drinking got worse and worse in that relationship. I also started up smoking weed again, having been without for over a year and a half.

After the 4 on 4 off job I got one where it was high stress, and my working hour start and finish times changed over 10 times. When it sat on evening shift I ended up getting drunk in the morning before work, and nursing a hangover in the office.

The job after that was my most stressful and I worked a lot of unpaid overtime, and was drinking almost daily without fail at that point. I handed in an extended notice at that job and a few weeks before I left I was going out to smoke weed on my lunchbreaks. That was way too intense, but I liked how cheeky it felt surfing the waves of paranoia and wondering if anyone would ask.

Mind you - I smoked weed in my first job and with one person I dated, we had a few months of picking up Cheese, which is an unusually smelly strain, and she would roll one on the drive to work, and she wasn't shy about amounts used. I must have stank the whole office out and not one person said a word. Interesting really, as I was sporting dreadlocks and a rather accentuated hippy look at that point.

I don't worry too much at my job now, as I've caught whiffs of it and nobody has said. Smoke just clings to clothes. But there's an alcoholic (one of several) at work. But this guy is at the point of his liver being shot, no end of hospital appointments, rotten teeth, and still drinking 20+ a day. Anyway, he goes home on his lunchbreak every day, as he lives in the village where the mill is. The smell of liquour and cigarettes on him is often overwhelming.

You speak to him though, and like every addict I've met, there's clearly suffering, but there's also a spark in them, and their personalities. A warmth, and a creativity and playfulness within.

Unlike a disease, an addiction initially makes us feel a degree of relief from our pain, perhaps of warmth, safety, ease and peace. It doesn't matter if it's temporary - it doesn't matter if the hangovers or comedowns wreak havoc on us and our sanity - because that initial warmth and masking of certain internal discomforts is enough for us to weather the storms addictions bring.

Ed
 
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Mr. Stevens

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I used to have a problem with liquor, but haven't had any in about 15 years. I can have a beer at a restaurant, if I meet a friend. I don't really want more than one, and even that's because I don't really want the other options.

Alcohol's not a temptation for me because I don't like the loss of control. And I realized I was just escaping myself. If I'm stressed, sometimes I compulsively reach for my glass of water. I learned I was "drowning" my feelings with this repeated action, even without alcohol. Now that I enjoy myself again, the temptation for alcohol is gone. If I ever do think of alcohol, it's because of stress, and knowing that makes the thought go away.

Good luck :) I'm sure it will be harder before it gets better, but you're doing the right thing. My dad never stopped drinking and it destroyed him on many levels.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
I used to have a problem with liquor, but haven't had any in about 15 years. I can have a beer at a restaurant, if I meet a friend. I don't really want more than one, and even that's because I don't really want the other options.

Alcohol's not a temptation for me because I don't like the loss of control. And I realized I was just escaping myself. If I'm stressed, sometimes I compulsively reach for my glass of water. I learned I was "drowning" my feelings with this repeated action, even without alcohol. Now that I enjoy myself again, the temptation for alcohol is gone. If I ever do think of alcohol, it's because of stress, and knowing that makes the thought go away.

Good luck :) I'm sure it will be harder before it gets better, but you're doing the right thing. My dad never stopped drinking and it destroyed him on many levels.
I'm so stiff, and when I was younger someone gave me a drink to loosen up. Luckily I accepted I'm a reject and happy with the direction I found. I suppose I was invited disco but left as didn't fit in. I find relationships tricky and with one boyfriend i would have a shooter or two to try....I was more talkative but still running out of small talk and fidgetting.
I suppose I avoided boyfriends and spent more time studying or working
 

Mr. Stevens

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I'm so stiff, and when I was younger someone gave me a drink to loosen up. Luckily I accepted I'm a reject and happy with the direction I found. I suppose I was invited disco but left as didn't fit in. I find relationships tricky and with one boyfriend i would have a shooter or two to try....I was more talkative but still running out of small talk and fidgetting.
I suppose I avoided boyfriends and spent more time studying or working

I didn't drink at all until I was 22, I think. No real interest. I liked parties now and then just to laugh at the spectacle. Mostly, I preferred reading about art history and listening to music :)

Yeah, dating...such a nightmare. Sometimes an old school friend will tell me that a female classmate had a crush on me back then. I just think, "Really? All she did was antagonize me. That's one of the reasons I don't date." But, that is affection for some. I'd rather enjoy my freedom, and if I meet someone of good character who I'm compelled to be with, that's great too.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Welcome to your new life. Even if it is a rough beginning, it can lead you to places you’ve never imagined. I am sober from drugs and alcohol for 126 days.

I can’t tell you my long story now, because yeah, some days are hard and I am tired and fried. But that’s just it. On this journey of sobriety, we can learn new ways to deal with things that cause us trouble, stress, and worry. Like tonight, instead of drinking or using drugs like I would have in the past, I have a quiet space where I can think and process things, write here and stay connected to other humans a little bit. I pay attention to what I need and take care of it instead of just powering through and using alcohol and drugs as the fuel for that fire. It is a noxious fuel and it does not last. Instead, I am learning to gather the sticks and branches from all around and keep the fire going in that way.

Keep strong and keep writing about your journey. It helps.
The root of addiction is something missing within ourselves or life. We know best what it is.
Obviously the longer it took for you to come to this realisation then harder it is to rebuild new life. But happiness is something you can never replace, even if you are not conscious it's a little feeling that sways like gentle wind reminding you there is something out there.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
I didn't drink at all until I was 22, I think. No real interest. I liked parties now and then just to laugh at the spectacle. Mostly, I preferred reading about art history and listening to music :)

Yeah, dating...such a nightmare. Sometimes an old school friend will tell me that a female classmate had a crush on me back then. I just think, "Really? All she did was antagonize me. That's one of the reasons I don't date." But, that is affection for some. I'd rather enjoy my freedom, and if I meet someone of good character who I'm compelled to be with, that's great too.
Many years I'd just bottle my feelings up, inadequacy was huge item. Just that I didn't perform at ease in departments girls usually do. It made me more introverted. I remember stage of talking when spoken too. Ye, so bottled up feelings that just buried,
It's only now that I'm older that I can admit these things, I think suppressed years
 

AGXStarseed

Well-Known Member
For me I'm alcohol intolerant; I find the taste of booze repulsive and if I try and force it down, I end up feeling unwell afterwards.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
For me I'm alcohol intolerant; I find the taste of booze repulsive and if I try and force it down, I end up feeling unwell afterwards.
Alcohol has high sugar content, it spikes you high and then your blood pressure drop(hangover)
When we were discussing how health issues affect autism this is when I really realised it, my Mom is diabetic2 and I always battled with low blood pressure..so where others recover I take longer. Doctors don't know this but I half my doses and calculate based on my mass.
Also white wine and Chardonnay are taste wise too hectic, 2 sips and I send it away. If I drink socially it's only 1 glass of red wine.
I'm a scrawny geek....if you think of fashion men don't realise it, but I know because I'm frail and at times I shake gently....when I'm nervous its worst cause I bump things over.
I don't have other health problems than autism, so my symptoms are very clear on how autism affects blood pressure and sugar for me is a role, and I'm not diabetic
 

N2k12

Well-Known Member
thank you for your information and suggestions and support guys. i noticed over the last, say, 10 years , my epilepsy has gotten worse after drinking. sometimes drinking caused seizures, or they happen the next morning, or the next few days
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
thank you for your information and suggestions and support guys. i noticed over the last, say, 10 years , my epilepsy has gotten worse after drinking. sometimes drinking caused seizures, or they happen the next morning, or the next few days
Not just blood pressure but oxygen to frontal cortex is about as far medically as I know....are your seizures usually triggered by visual?
I'm not encouraging drinking but some say eating a bit of fat off steak before will help line tummy to shelter liver!! Many tonics for liver, hangover remedies on vitamin shelf.
 

N2k12

Well-Known Member
my seizures are not really triggered by visual things. seems they are triggered by emotional distress, alcohol, high amounts of caffeine, tiredness / lack of proper sleep, stress. that seems to be the pattern. different types of alcohol will bring them on even harder and faster. wine, being the worst one.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
my seizures are not really triggered by visual things. seems they are triggered by emotional distress, alcohol, high amounts of caffeine, tiredness / lack of proper sleep, stress. that seems to be the pattern. different types of alcohol will bring them on even harder and faster. wine, being the worst one.
White wine has more sugar added, it then turns dry! Brandy being more refined process....hence spirits are stronger!
Cheap stuff has sulphites, bad bad.
R u on meds for epilepsy .....cause drink n meds !do not! Mix.
You need to see a psychologist but they don't see people with autism always. if you have PTSD then cognitive therapy. But if you continue like this you going to destroy yourself.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Felling like harming myself....few threads down,
Spoke about writing page of things make you happy and how to do it.
Otherwise go to self help shelf because if AA meetings don't reach you ....then you can't make horse drink water
 

N2k12

Well-Known Member
i am on medication for seizures, i have not drank for 3 weeks. and i wont be drinking. i know i am going to destroy myself if i keep going. alot of people have said this. i was not listening. i was using alcohol to mask my PTSD as well. i knew what i was doing, and i chose to keep going. now, i am choosing to be better, and respect those around me, they only want to help. i have always learned the hard way, and have had little self respect. i have seen many psychologists and psychiatrists, i am in the process of getting another mental health plan done up this year, as i cannot afford the public system. i have lost weight, in a good way, i am feeling better, not shaking as much, and doing better with socialising a bit. i WILL do this!
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
i am on medication for seizures, i have not drank for 3 weeks. and i wont be drinking. i know i am going to destroy myself if i keep going. alot of people have said this. i was not listening. i was using alcohol to mask my PTSD as well. i knew what i was doing, and i chose to keep going. now, i am choosing to be better, and respect those around me, they only want to help. i have always learned the hard way, and have had little self respect. i have seen many psychologists and psychiatrists, i am in the process of getting another mental health plan done up this year, as i cannot afford the public system. i have lost weight, in a good way, i am feeling better, not shaking as much, and doing better with socialising a bit. i WILL do this!
Do you know what keto diet is....and under science forums I have a theory on why epilepsy drugs are bad for autism. My writing is bad so if something you don't understand then pls ask.
My Mom has autism and was put on epilum for bi-polar and it's destroyed her health
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
If epilepsy drugs destroy stomach gut and cause digestive problems, autism symptoms may increase.
Also shaking (tremors) can be side effect of epilepsy drugs, and indicate an underlying condition....some recommend changing meds as it's disagreeable. But you must consult with your doctor before taking any advice.
Ketogenic diet allows stomach gut to exist properly
 

The Pandector

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
My experience with alcohol is probably not typical. For years I drank to excess; you’d have to conclude I was alcoholic. Got tired of it interfering with the following morning. Now, I can take it or leave it. I quit smoking after 15 years, now not remotely interested.

During this past week, I’ve been working through sugar withdrawals. I cleared the house, but when the cravings hit, I’m tempted by anything that’s sweet. I wish I had some wisdom or advice to offer, but addiction is powerful in any form.

I take strength from the apostle Paul, who wrote that all things are legal, but not all things are profitable; that all was lawful, but that he would not be mastered by anything.

Victory is in perseverance. Soldier on, brother.
 

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