#2 - Zero life.

[ainely]

I think we make our own happiness.

And there may be reasons, but I'm the one who decides what makes me happy and what does not.

you like opened my eyes to a new world haha, i agree with u

 

[SusanLR]

I think we make our own happiness. I will sometimes talk about the love of my life and I say that because I was always happy around him and still am. I was forced to leave him, was definitely not my choice. But I did realize that the happiness I had with him, I made. The special times I remember, in all actuality, had nothing to do with him. For instance one of those special times was when I was driving my car following him in the semi truck he drove. I was looking back at that memory and it dawned on me that it was ME. He wasn't doing anything to make that special.
I also talk about how I love the west and only really happy when I'm out there. The west hasn't done anything to make me feel that way - it's just what's inside of me. I find a comfort there. And there may be reasons, but I'm the one who decides what makes me happy and what does not.

This is a bit confusing to me. I understand somewhat, but, taking an example:

With the love of your life...The special times you remember....had nothing to do with him...
It was you that made the choice?
Theoretically speaking, If you had been following a semi truck that was being driven by someone
else, would that have made you feel happy?

Same with the west.
If you were blindfolded and flown to the Arctic for a few hours, then transferred to the west where
you find a comfort... how would you decide which place was most comforting?
I can understand the two situations were doing nothing in of themselves,
but, they are external things.
Are not your choices then based on something external?
I'm trying to understand how happiness comes from within if it is based on external choices.

 

[Pats]

Well, you're right that if it had been someone else driving the truck I would not have felt happy and if I were blindfolded would not get the enjoyment from the west (except feeling better because it's not as humid. )
It's the thoughts I was thinking at those times - good thoughts. The love of my life - my ex - he drove a truck and was gone 99% of the time. When he was home I was a nervous oaf, dropping everything, had a hard time functioning, was not able to be myself. So it was the thoughts of him that made me happy, not him.
You have likes and dislikes based on your own taste. One of the things I like about the west is the sagebrush and bare ground not covered up with all this grass green. I like the pine green, but I hate grass green. So my like for the west is due to my personal likes and dislikes. It's part of who we are, which is internal. Does that make more sense? If our happiness was based on external things, then it would seem that as long as we surrounded ourselves with those things we would be happy.
Not saying that external things can not affect out moods, but they affect our mood because of who we are. Many people love opera and orchestra music. I hate it. The music is external, but how I feel about it is internal.

 

[SusanLR]

Thanks @Pats for the clarification.
I'm from the west and have always much preferred it over humid Florida where I'm rather stuck due
to circumstances.
I'm just trying so hard to figure out how one learns to feel good emotions internally after the loss of
someone that you've shared a lifetime with and everything in life with is gone. It just makes everything
seem so empty.
It doesn't seem to be something I can solve mentally like I would a puzzle or other problem.
It's emotional/internal and can't be rationally fixed through intellect. Quest on.

 

[Pats]

Thanks @Pats for the clarification.
I'm from the west and have always much preferred it over humid Florida where I'm rather stuck due
to circumstances.
I'm just trying so hard to figure out how one learns to feel good emotions internally after the loss of
someone that you've shared a lifetime with and everything in life with is gone. It just makes everything
seem so empty.
It doesn't seem to be something I can solve mentally like I would a puzzle or other problem.
It's emotional/internal and can't be rationally fixed through intellect. Quest on.

I understand that and I'm really sad for your loss. I wish happiness did come from external things that you could surround yourself with and be happy again. And I wish I could say just one thing that might bring you a little cheer. I was going to ask how long has it been, but it really doesn't matter. What matters is that you are still mourning. Things will never be the same and, though it's going to be hard, continue your quest. You're important.

 

[Fino]

I once made myself laugh very much when, during a stressful time in my life, I was buying a lot of things from Amazon. Things were arriving practically every day. My room was filled with new stuff, some old things being replaced, so it all looked pretty different. I looked around the room one day, after having received another item, and I said out-loud to myself, "That's weird... I bought all this new stuff, and I still don't feel any better!" Then I stopped buying so many things.

 

[ainely]

I was buying a lot of things from Amazon.

This reminds me that I have to do it! although I've got an interest for ''strange'' things