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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Single RSD Aspie Rejected Loser 48 From Brooklyn, NY
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  • Tony Ramirez
    I think the 40's might actually be the worst years of my life and the most emotional painful. Hell except for my later junior high years my entire life was the worst years of my life.
    Tony Ramirez
    It's looking closer and closer that suicide is my only solution to this curse I called autism. Nothing else is working.
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Well its the same for me. I think she and her family would be sad if you were to pass away. There is also this forum too. I think there are many people who care about you
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    previously you said you though you were calling off suicide, but now you are strongly considering it again? i'm sorry
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I don't know how to actually carry it out there is no information it's all blocked with that stupid 988 number and life will get better crap.
    Tony Ramirez
    I freaking hate hearing how you meet stories from damn couples.
    tree
    tree
    You don't enjoy people much, it seems.
    And can't imagine learning anything from what happy people say.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hope to get control with my travel, couples and platonic's envy's when I go back on my antipsychotic I took last year.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    do you think you might try to get a job again, become employed again someday? i think you said you have been unemployed since 2001, just mainly SSI.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Not feeling so controlled by strong emotions sounds like a great goal, @Tony Ramirez. I hope you start feeling better than you have been.
    Tony Ramirez
    Ignoring my ass is a thing people like to do to piss me off. I have to wake up alive for this crap.
    Kitsuna
    Kitsuna
    Tony, I’m saying this from a place of friendly concern: please listen to everyone telling you to seek counseling.
    M
    Misty Avich
    At least you get a lot of attention and replies in your threads. I envy you there, as I could do with a bit more attention and replies in my threads when I'm reaching out to people.
    Tony Ramirez
    Why the hell do they have all these stupid names for these college degree's like BA MA Master's crap. Who cares. They were all able to know reading comprehension while a dumbass like me can't even remember what he just read 5 seconds ago why I flunked out with a 0 GPA dropout unemployed loser.
    Tony Ramirez
    Let's hope I die in my sleep tonight, even though I know the damn creator will make me wake up to live another horrible day.
    jsilver256
    jsilver256
    John 3:17 (which comes after the famous John 3:16!): "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." God loves you!

    But to stop the misery trap, we have to put aside our own ideas of what fulfillment looks like.

    Please call one of the hotlines that @tree posted. I think you need outside help in getting out of this misery.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I don't trust them. I was betrayed by state therapists.
    tree
    tree
    Betrayed?
    Tony Ramirez
    I wish my so called college graduate smart ass so called friends would admit the reasons why they waste their time applying for work, education programs and I hear crap back months later is because I actually need a damn college degree to actually apply but they won't tell me that not to admit it to hurt my feelings.
    tree
    tree
    Are you trying to say since
    your qualifications don't meet the standards for the jobs,
    you don't get interviewed? And that somehow you aren't
    aware of the requirements?

    Or what?
    Tony Ramirez
    No one talk to out of it I am determined to commit suicide by the end of this month somehow. Then we will see how selfish everyone thinks I am when I am missed.
    Tony Ramirez
    I just keep insulting my friends via text and in person because of my bad life inadvertently it has become second nature when they say what you say was hurtful I don't even care because I just can't seem to do it say anything right anymore. No wonder no women wants me.
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Yes second now that I realize it but nothing to my 18 20s was my worst and my 30s was boring nothing wasted. My early junior high school years 11 to 14 was and always was my best years of my life.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I wish I never bothered to try to socialize with normals 5 years ago. I did not befriended not one aspie or really meet any in person only here online.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    do you think your autism is also the reason why you have been unemployed for most of your life? i ask because, there are tons of jobs in the world that don't require college education, or do you think you just got too used to relying on your folks too much, it just made you not bother want to seeking a job?
    Tony Ramirez
    My back pain is coming back from not doing yoga but the former use to be my second home studio ended up becoming an traumatic place like my last church which I had to leave but I have no place to go unlike the other place.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Youtube has thousands of yoga videos for free. Sean Vigue has a nice channel. He's got a good nature and some humour in what he does. Just find a room with some space for your yoga mat and have at it.
    Tony Ramirez
    I tried to be nice but if I see one more picture of an slim guy kneeling proposal to an attractive woman who says yes to being married I am going back to being in a bad mood again with couples. Enough rubbing your crap online so easy for me to find.
    tree
    tree
    You have a real hard time with your thoughts, it seems.
    You keep telling yourself stuff that results in you being in a bad mood.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I know I am off whatever I was looking at. Instagram. I follow my friends and places I go but then the suggestions ruin me.
    tree
    tree
    It's not the suggestions themselves.
    It's what you tell yourself about what you see.
    Tony Ramirez
    Glad I am at the park with my new church community. What a relief it feels like. Even after recent meltdowns still feeling accepted by everyone.
    Tony Ramirez
    New haircut got me snubbed ostracized by every new woman that's not married or a grandmother but I don't give a damn I needed it cut because the hair bothered me. They can all rot in a ditch.
    View previous comments…
    honeytoast
    honeytoast
    What did she do this time?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Nothing that was the damn problem back then. I am not texting or ever going back. Just a reminder of PTSD now thanks to her when I see platonic friends.
    M
    Mary Terry
    I hope your new church can teach you that damning someone as you are doing with Madison is a sin.
    Tony Ramirez
    Just got a haircut it will improve my chances with women a good chance about 0%.
    T
    thejuice
    New profile pic?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Yes because my life is a dead end.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    "I joined seven clubs/groups total the four years and eight months I been socializing waiting for a girlfriend. Five of them I heard from people the reasons I joined was to get a girlfriend first not to enjoy the club/group first. Same stinking outcome.", that really got to me emotionally.
    Tony Ramirez
    I like to call women friends and all by their full names. Is there anything wrong with me?
    tree
    tree
    Are you saying you address people you know by their first and last names?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    No by there full names like Greta as Gretchen. Or Trish as Patricia.
    Tony Ramirez
    I needed to get the hell out of the cafe into my little quit space where I can be myself and the WiFi still works.

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    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I'm back inside. Less crowded now air conditioning. Good I can get outside when needed. The staff recommended to me to actually go out there when needed.
    Tony Ramirez
    There are only three swear words I don't utter now one is the big one the other is the female dog reference coming close to thought and the black racial slur which I can't.
    tree
    tree
    Yes, it's true that a person does have some control over their thoughts, feelings, and speech.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Not when there treated like crap by the opposite sex by certain types and there are a failure at everything they tried.
    tree
    tree
    That's an interesting way of looking at things.
    Not a fun or useful way, but definitely full of emotion.
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