I think the 40's might actually be the worst years of my life and the most emotional painful. Hell except for my later junior high years my entire life was the worst years of my life.
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Tony Ramirez
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It's looking closer and closer that suicide is my only solution to this curse I called autism. Nothing else is working.
Boyfriends piss me off.
I freaking hate hearing how you meet stories from damn couples.
I hope to get control with my travel, couples and platonic's envy's when I go back on my antipsychotic I took last year.
Ignoring my ass is a thing people like to do to piss me off. I have to wake up alive for this crap.
Why the hell do they have all these stupid names for these college degree's like BA MA Master's crap. Who cares. They were all able to know reading comprehension while a dumbass like me can't even remember what he just read 5 seconds ago why I flunked out with a 0 GPA dropout unemployed loser.
Let's hope I die in my sleep tonight, even though I know the damn creator will make me wake up to live another horrible day.
When I get home everyone better leave me the hell alone or else.
I wish my so called college graduate smart ass so called friends would admit the reasons why they waste their time applying for work, education programs and I hear crap back months later is because I actually need a damn college degree to actually apply but they won't tell me that not to admit it to hurt my feelings.
No one talk to out of it I am determined to commit suicide by the end of this month somehow. Then we will see how selfish everyone thinks I am when I am missed.
I just keep insulting my friends via text and in person because of my bad life inadvertently it has become second nature when they say what you say was hurtful I don't even care because I just can't seem to do it say anything right anymore. No wonder no women wants me.
My back pain is coming back from not doing yoga but the former use to be my second home studio ended up becoming an traumatic place like my last church which I had to leave but I have no place to go unlike the other place.
I tried to be nice but if I see one more picture of an slim guy kneeling proposal to an attractive woman who says yes to being married I am going back to being in a bad mood again with couples. Enough rubbing your crap online so easy for me to find.
Glad I am at the park with my new church community. What a relief it feels like. Even after recent meltdowns still feeling accepted by everyone.
New haircut got me snubbed ostracized by every new woman that's not married or a grandmother but I don't give a damn I needed it cut because the hair bothered me. They can all rot in a ditch.
Just got a haircut it will improve my chances with women a good chance about 0%.
I like to call women friends and all by their full names. Is there anything wrong with me?
There are only three swear words I don't utter now one is the big one the other is the female dog reference coming close to thought and the black racial slur which I can't.
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