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Metalhead

Metalhead

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8647 46 From Bedlam
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  • Metalhead
    I am finished with being used by my family for martyr and pity points. I have a diagnosis of autism, it does not mean I am severely cognitively impaired.
    My mother should get off her damn cross and accept that.
    Metalhead
    I was such a pathetic and weak pushover. I knew exactly what was going on and I kept letting it happen.
    Metalhead
    I am thinking about some of the people in my past that I am allowed to violate my boundaries. I wish I had punched them in the face instead of there were any guarantee I would not be prosecuted over that.
    Metalhead
    I feel like going to a bar and ordering a pint or three, but that will solve nothing.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    It will solve nothing and it will take away the precious sobriety that you have worked hard for. Imagine the guilt and disappointment that would come from giving in now.

    I had a drug dream that I used opiates, and when I woke up, I thought it was true and I was so disappointed and mad. Then I realized it wasn’t real.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Notice the desire and then call upon distraction, friendship, and healthy coping to get past it if you can. I am working on this, too.
    Metalhead
    Plumber is on the way to my house right now to fix a burst pipe. Everybody at my office is annoyed with me.
    View previous comments…
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Yeah, I know. I will prove to them that I am getting work done anyway by giving them my numbers at the end of the day. That’s all I can do at this point.
    Kirsty
    Kirsty
    Did it cost you a lot? Plumbers can be a rip off and they’re incompatible at times causing more financial drainage.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Landlord paid for it.
    Metalhead
    I am beginning to believe I am going to be OK if I take care of myself and my inner child. I validate myself now.
    View previous comments…
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    In the first steps of Trauma recovery that "frozen" self who could not face or solve the trauma episode is usually hated, ignored, or silenced. That Metalhead is accepting his inner child and offering the love he did not recived means he is advancing in his healing process.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Congratulations.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    The inner child deserves you now because he never deserved what he was put through long ago. Time for healing.
    Metalhead
    Been drinking mostly plain tap water these days. Giving up soda helped to lift my mood a little bit.
    Metalhead
    I am thinking of starting a local meetup group to go to horror and action movies with on a regular basis, then go to a restaurant to discuss what we just saw. Maybe that is a good idea for me.
    Metalhead
    Working remotely today since my garbage disposal under my sink just fell apart randomly. Ok, then. I guess my boss won’t complain if I actually get a lot done today despite this. I have my work cell phone ready to start going in half an hour.
    Metalhead
    Too many heroin needles outside my place of employment. We need heroins like Wonder Woman out there instead.
    Metalhead
    I also bought a plane ticket so I can spend 12 days in Michigan in August. Got the time off approved and everything.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Awesome! Good things to look forward to and space from your family.
    Metalhead
    I just scheduled a weekend trip to Portland by myself, a hotel room for two nights, some cash to spend on garden and museum admissions, some money for Lyft rides, a round trip train ticket.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    Excellent! You've more than earned some time away and to yourself! I hope you enjoy the hell out of every minute! :)
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    My sister wants to join me for part of the trip, but I still will be spending the bulk of that time by myself. I want to visit gardens and museums, and eat Thai food, and hit Powell's bookstore which is a danger to my wallet.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    Sounds like a great trip and I hope you get to enjoy it the way you want to! Try to set a limit on your spending at the bookstore. One thing I do is to leave my debit card at home and take only cash to limit my ability to over spend. If you can pay with your phone, maybe chuck it in a bag somewhere you'd have to rummage to get at it. It's not fool proof, but the more effort it takes, the less you might be tempted :-)
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