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Recent content by SDRSpark

  1. SDRSpark

    Eyecontact

    I used to be that way in school - I went out of my way to be intimidating so no one would mess with me. I still got bullied, but as an adult I made the conscious choice that I didn't want to be someone who intimidates everyone. I still don't, so I will be the person who takes predators by...
  2. SDRSpark

    Eyecontact

    Interesting. I never even thought about that, it might be why I seem to attract abusive people (I'm female, by the way, though it's not immediately apparent in online interactions and I identify as non-binary). I seem to draw narcissists and people-users like a magnet.
  3. SDRSpark

    Overthinking the RAADS Questions

    I'm pretty sure this got in the way of getting a diagnosis at one point...and this was a questionnaire given by a neuropsychologist. The one question I remember was "does the tag in your shirt bother you". I said no, because my shirt does not HAVE tags, so they cannot bother me, of course. It...
  4. SDRSpark

    Overthinking the RAADS Questions

    Oh man. The "people often tell me" questions are the ones that really get me. I'm thinking "I really need you to understand that people don't have these sorts of conversations". Alternatively "that would require that I actually talk to people on a regular basis outside of a professional...
  5. SDRSpark

    Questions about Prosopagnosia

    Growing up, this was absolutely surreal. If I saw someone around town, I wouldn't recognize them "out of context" (I still have this issue, but I'm aware of it). The result of this is that I would be out in public somewhere, and people would greet me like they knew me even though I didn't have a...
  6. SDRSpark

    People talking about middle class

    It's the opposite for me...I could (if I were feeling particularly ambitious) WALK to Target but SprawlMart is a few miles away. That said, I detest SprawlMart for a whole host of reasons (most bordering on political) and I would still shop at Target if their geographic convenience were reversed.
  7. SDRSpark

    Eyecontact

    I spent a couple hours talking to someone and I have no idea what color her eyes are - lol I was focused on her glittery purple glasses instead. I can tell you all about her glasses frames. I only ever pay attention to eye contact in situations where I'm hyper-aware that it's important, such as...
  8. SDRSpark

    Why is my ASD son doing this?

    Medication is really challenging. It's also likely that he himself didn't notice the changes as they tend to come on slowly until one day you just find yourself wondering how you got there... that's how it happens with me and anxiety anyway. I am glad it seems to be moving in the right...
  9. SDRSpark

    Why is my ASD son doing this?

    He's doing the best he can. Being a parent means you have to set boundaries somewhere so that your child can grow up happy and healthy (and so that everyone in the family can remain happy and healthy). If he let his son stay up all night whenever he wanted, he wouldn't get his school work done...
  10. SDRSpark

    Don't want to go on a cruise

    Yeah, tell them it's no longer up for discussion and then if they persist, stop talking to them (at least until the cruise is over). If they will not respect your boundaries then you have to remove the option to do otherwise. It sucks, but that's how it is.
  11. SDRSpark

    Don't want to go on a cruise

    One thing I learned (from experience) about saying "no" is this: just say no. Don't elaborate, don't give a reason - people will try to "problem solve" your reason for saying "no" - if you don't give them an opening to do so, you make it a lot easier on yourself. (After all, even if you stick to...
  12. SDRSpark

    Why is my ASD son doing this?

    My "gut" feeling (as someone who goes through swings like this) is that he may have something else going on that is stressing him out. Now, that "something else going on" may be being a teenager, in which case you have to just wait it out. Neurodivergence exacerbates teen angst and vice versa...
  13. SDRSpark

    Why is my ASD son doing this?

    "Time blindness" is another common neurodivergent trait. Fortunately there are a ton of devices to help with this. If it's a common issue maybe some kind of countdown timer, starting one hour before bedtime and going through the steps of winding down/getting ready for bed? I have a bedtime...
  14. SDRSpark

    Why is my ASD son doing this?

    Does he have insomnia? Was he up late because he didn't want to go to bed and wanted to play video games instead or because he couldn't sleep so he got bored or frustrated laying there and decided to play a game instead. (If it's the latter the actual recommendation is that you DON'T lie in bed...
  15. SDRSpark

    Why is my ASD son doing this?

    Also, people who experience either PDA or Executive Dysfunction are likely aware that they're not doing what they're expected and may well feel a lot of guilt or shame about that...hence the apologizing (if that's what's going on with your son). Motivation doesn't work because it's a brain...
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