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Recent content by righan

  1. righan

    Trouble reacting to gifts from your partner

    Christmas is right around the corner and I have always had trouble with gifts when my wife gets them for me. I don't really deal well with surprises to begin with, presents make me uncomfortable because I don't know how to react to them, and I generally don't get excited about things to begin...
  2. righan

    How do I get a girlfriend

    Going back to the original question ... I have many friends who are interested in same-sex relationships, including my wife, and I do think the best option is to participate in a community of people where preferences are easy to talk about or are somehow easy to identify without having to ask...
  3. righan

    Nothing and more nothing

    Unrequited love is a difficult thing. I was in love with someone when I was 19 that couldn't love me back ... I don't think she knew how to love anyone. It took me a few years before I could let it go. Even dating other people didn't make it go away. Then one day ... it stopped. I don't know...
  4. righan

    Love or $$$$

    Love. Hands down. Why? Probably has to do with my childhood. Both my parents choose money over family and love. My dad was an executive who often worked 12 hour days but we were pretty well off until I was five when he decided he didn't want to be tied to a family with a sick kid and a wife...
  5. righan

    Dealing with bosses you don't understand

    My boss is not a geek, despite the fact that he works in the tech industry. He is a jock turned coast guard turned paramedic who burned out and decided to start a tech company with a few friends. They know enough about servers and web design and things like that to use off the shelf installable...
  6. righan

    More sensitive to noise

    I have noticed that when my wife drinks beer from a bottle sometimes it really really bothers me ... like I have to put my hands over my ears or leave the room and if I don't leave the room I can sometimes get really angry and want to snap at her because I need it to stop ... other times, I...
  7. righan

    Dealing with bosses you don't understand

    One of the biggest challenges I face is working with my boss. I've been a web designer working for the same company for 13 years. There were problems from the very beginning. Its a small company and there are no written down rules or protocols for pricing or customer service or written down...
  8. righan

    Shutdowns/Meltdowns---What are they? Do all adults with ASD have them?

    I am trying to understand exactly what is meant by a meltdown when it is used in terms of people on the spectrum. I know what I think of when I hear the term - I think of someone screaming, crying, collapsing on the ground, curling up in a little ball and rocking back and forth, or otherwise...
  9. righan

    Should men on the spectrum follow neurotypical advice for dating women?

    So, lots of great things to already said here and I'm not sure anything I have to say is really needed, but I do have some experience with this so lets see how it goes. I've been in several romantic relationships in my teens and early twenties, then been in a happy long term relationship for...
  10. righan

    Have you found yourself targeted by someone with Borderline Personality Disorder?

    This topic has gotten way off the original premise it looks like and I don't want to add to the digression too much, but I think part of the issue here is also about what is and is not manipulation. I could debate all day about that topic, but the important thing is that I've observed that words...
  11. righan

    Putting shirts on backwards??

    I mentioned the bit about monkeys to simply highlight the degree to which it happens - it was a big enough problem growing up that it caused my mother to express her irritation with it by saying an animal less evolved than humans should be able to do better than me ... so why can't I get it...
  12. righan

    Doctor: "Obsession not weird enough"

    Different doctors are ... well different. I can't quite speak to doctors and ASD, but I have lots of experience with other kinds of doctors and they typically don't know everything, even about the condition they are specialists for. I have Cystic Fibrosis and go to a clinic, which means I see...
  13. righan

    Putting shirts on backwards??

    So, I'm curious about something ... one of the things I have struggled with since childhood was putting shirts on backwards. For some reason if it is a shirt that i have to pull over my head, particularly t-shirts, about 8 times out of 10 it will be on backwards and then I have to fix it. My...
  14. righan

    The drawback of staying more at home, than going out and a question to ask?

    I have higher blood pressure, but I also suffer from a variety of serious health conditions so it could be caused by any of them or one of the 18 different meds I'm on. More relevant - I am a hermit and have been a long time. I can literally go weeks without stepping a foot outside my home or...
  15. righan

    Visual Figure-Ground Issues in Autism?

    Thank you for the responses ... and yes ... its a wonderful thing to finally put a name to these things. To the comment about people not being able to sneak up on you ... I'm the same way. As long as there aren't so many noise sources that I can't hear anything at all.
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