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Metalhead

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  • This was a wild ride. For viewers 18 and over only.
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    L
    Luca
    Definitely not for me.
    Do these movies ever give you nightmares? Asking out of curiosity, not judgment.
    Just being present while my girlfriend was watching a true crime show the other day was enough to give me night terrors.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Horror movies do not give me nightmares if they are based on fiction. Holocaust documentaries and true crime films are the kinds of things that disturb me.
    Allergy season for me is now. It is particularly awful this year. Too much scotch broom growing near my office. I want to burn it all, but I don’t want to get arrested for arson.
    I wish there was a shaved ice vendor nearby this time of the week. With the hot weather outside, I kinda am craving something like that.
    I wish I could sleep until after the 4th of July. Alas, I have a job that would not approve of that.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Because of the fireworks?
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Fireworks are worse than thunderstorms for me (I feel the barometric pressure shift, and the electricity in the air, and the sound). Fireworks are more abrupt and constant. My dog won't walk with the threat of fireworks (if there were some last night, he won't go this morning, and he jumps at every sound for a full day after).
    Great, all it takes is one minor comment from my boss telling me that I interrupted a meeting, and I suddenly feel like bothering people is what I do best all over again.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    It happens. I'm sure there are no bad feelings (at least I hope and would think so)
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I know there most likely are no bad feelings here. I know my mind is going to a very dark place for no real reason.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Well you've been having a lot come up lately, so understandable. Remember you are loved and have some people truly on your side.
    This is the time of year where neighbors shoot off fireworks when I am trying to sleep because I have to work in the morning.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I dislike firework season. In FL where my parents live, it is year round.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Benji dog hates it too.
    Sorry for the flood of processing. I am making an effort to forgive and let go. Holding on to pure rage has done me no favors. Pure rage makes me want to drown in a sea of bourbon.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Your talking about your mom is pushing a lot of buttons for me, in remembering my past and my mother. It is good to go through it in order to let it go, you are good. Just :) make sure to let it go.
    I suppose I could have some empathy for my mother - her mother was just as horrible to her as she is to me. Not saying what she does is ever OK, but I have an opportunity to break the family trauma for myself.
    Seriously, I need a vacation. One month and several days away, my vacation begins. Away from family drama and family psychosis. Good times with great friends. Good food, good hiking, good chill downtime, zero damn stress for two whole weeks.
    Today, at work, I helped a crying parent get hooked up with services for her young child. Holy (expletive). This comes with the territory in my job, but it is gratifying when things like this come together right.
    V
    VictorR
    That's great! Part of what keeps me going in my job are those special moments where you're able to make something happen for someone.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Thank you for sharing. Very uplifting.
    I think I am going to go on a nice long walk before I get home from work today. Buy a couple of things from a grocery store. Make virgin margaritas and beef enchiladas when for dinner.
    So, instead of hitting the snooze button until it is about ten minutes before I have to leave, I forced myself to get out of bed when my alarm went off. And I am taking my time, made a healthy breakfast, took a shower, stretched, made my bed. Great feeling.
    I need to spend more time with my hobbies, and I need to take on a volunteer shift somewhere. Too much idle time with my headspace is very bad for me.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    same here. I tried volunteering at animal shelter, and then hurt my back so haven't even called them. It is show up as you will, so I'm sure I'll be welcome back once healed. But right now. So bored.
    I am tired of being the family black sheep, the one who people always say, “You know how crazy you get sometimes,” when I try to affirm my boundaries. I think I will plan a relocation very far away from here. I think it is time for such an action.
    Misery
    Misery
    Do you have any specific place you want to move to? Somewhere special?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Yeah, a friend has offered me a room for rent on the other side of the country. I think I will take her up on the offer.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I think this would be healthy for you. Some separation from the abuse.
    So, today my mother flat out told me that none of my friends cared about me like she cares about me. I am going to plan to move very far away.
    Judge
    Judge
    Did you ever consider the possibility that your mother may have dementia?

    Mine did. Though most of her most disagreeable side I had to learn about through other people. Very sad. At times she could be either "Baby Jane or her sister Blanche Hudson". Sugary sweet or downright cruel. It was tough.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Why should I care about her mental state? She is dead to me.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Your mother is toxic. I agree, her mental state is no longer your concern. She has done too much to you.
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