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Recent content by Bernardtisman

  1. THE MAD TAXI‏

    THE MAD TAXI‏

    One day the taxi driver Fred Belly drove his taxi along Bucket Road, Gants Hill to pick up Ben Suitcase, a member of Fruitbowl Day Centre, and take him home. As the taxi left the driver went weird and drove it on the pavement and stopped at a tree to pick up a bird on top to take him to Slop...
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    WHEN I HAD MY FISH AND CHIPS‏

    One day I was having my fish and chips when, “all of a sudden the chips jumped off the plate and flew up to my face inflicting a number of bites. In fact so fierce were the bites that snakes popped out of my face, turning me into a monster. The appearance of a monster with snakes popping out...
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    The magical wardrobe

    THE FLIGHT TO SPEORIA‏ One day it was decided that a family was going to go on holiday to Speoria, so they boarded a flight at Scatterwick airport. They checked in and went into the terminal. They boarded a plane, but something happened. The plane broke wind and let off a terrible...
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    The friday laundry‏

    Every Friday between 7am and 8am the carer came into my flat to collect the laundry, but discovered that I too needed laundering because I was so dirty, so she told me to climb into the laundry basket. She then took me and the clothes together along to the laundry. On arrival at the laundry...
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    My Stories

    THE OSTOMY BAG THAT FELL OFF One day as Bernard Tisman was returning home, as soon as he got off the dial a ride, he was met with a terrible accident. The stoma bag that he was wearing fell off and slid down his trousers, after breaking away from the base plate (flange) on his body...
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    Bernard tisboy's birthday party‏

    One day it was decided that Bernard Tisboy should have a birthday party as his birthday was only a few days away. On the day of Bernie Tisboy's birthday he was invited to his cousin Alan Chine, who lived in Dog Poo Road, Fried Barnet, in the London Borough of Bernie. The block of flats...
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    It's Holiday Time

    People wait at the coach stop on the other side of the road. More and more people soon turn up, brought to their pick up point by various taxis and mini cabs. Before long there are 50 people at the coach stop, some as old as 250 years. Soon, a coach turn's up, operated by Swallower...
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    My Stories

    The Most Unreliable Dial a Ride One day the dial a ride turned up at Bernard Tisboy's flat to take him to his day centre, but it was three hours late, approximately 1pm, when it should have been 10am. The centre got notified and the manager launched a complaint about the dial a ride...
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    My Stories

    THE COMPUTER VIRUS One day a computer was invaded by a dangerous virus which caused it to burst into flames. The man who planted the deadly computer virus that caused a massive blaze was sent to prison The computer that caught fire from a virus died instantly and had to be buried in a...
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    The computer virus

    One day a computer was invaded by a dangerous virus which caused it to burst into flames. The man who planted the deadly computer virus that caused a massive blaze was sent to prison The computer that caught fire from a virus died instantly and had to be buried in a computer graveyard to...
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    Fiddlesticks day centre

    Fiddlesticks day Centre is situated in Mintpie Road Ilford. It is a day centre that?s open 24 hours a day. The centre offers computer classes, with 200 computers in a room only five feet wide and a dining room where 500 people have to sit on a table only two feet wide. It?s no wonder people keep...
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    My Stories

    WESTON - SUPER - MARE PIER This pier had a fire, caused by a fireball shower coming from a fiery planet called Inferna. This dangerous planet is only two miles from Earth, and was involved in the death of two spacemen whose spaceship ran too close to this planet. There are currently...
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    My Stories

    FORBIDDEN LODGE Once upon a time there stood a support home where loads of rooms were out of bounds, even the front street door. This means that the front door where you came in was from no on to be made available to staff only. This meant that residents had to get into their flats...
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    The man who bought black lettuce

    One day Bernard Doorway bought a piece of black lettuce in TESCO. It had been grown on a farm in Winterset and was due to expire in five minutes time, which meant he had to eat it ever so quick, which caused him to burp, so loud, that it could be heard as far away as America. So loud was the...
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    King size 1st

    King Size 1st ruled Britain in the 16th century. He came to power when King Pilchard 5th died. Under King Size's rule going to school at 3.00 in the morning became compulsory; any refusal and you would end up with a lengthy jail sentence, possibly 10 years. At 3.00 every morning the king...
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