One day Bernard Doorway bought a piece of black lettuce in TESCO. It had been grown on a farm in Winterset and was due to expire in five minutes time, which meant he had to eat it ever so quick, which caused him to burp, so loud, that it could be heard as far away as America.
So loud was the noise that it caused TESCO to collapse and trees outside to crash down. The police were called and took the man who burped to a prison for ten days. He was banned from shopping in every shop after making an illegal din and had to have his food delivered through the letterbox of his home, for if he went shopping he would go to prison, this time for 20 years.
It?s no laughing matter it?s a terrible crime, belching as loud as a bomb.
The convicted belcher attended a centre called Ducksfield Day Centre in Johnsfield Road, Gants Hill.
Because of that monstrous crime no one in his centre would go near him. In fact one man threw a chair at him for what he did to TESCO- causing it to collapse. The hater Chris Arms had it in for him. He shouted:
TESCO killer, why don?t you rot?, you?re a murderous bomb, you should be hung, drawn and quartered.
He had a shopping list with him, but only the carer could go to the shop to get the man?s groceries because it was illegal for him to shop, for to do so would lead to him being sent to jail.
Here is the belcher?s shopping list
1. Black lettuce
2. Avotomatos
3. Shredded Fruit
And Fibre
4.Scabbage
5. Banosias
6. Bully Rice
7. Screwberries
8. Terrible Sauce
9. Rotten Eggs
10. Stink Bomb Potatoes
11. Apple Manure
12. Bashed Stew and Dumplings[/B]
