People wait at the coach stop on the other side of the road. More and more people soon turn up, brought to their pick up point by various taxis and mini cabs.
Before long there are 50 people at the coach stop, some as old as 250 years.
Soon, a coach turn's up, operated by Swallower Coaches, and one by one everybody get's on the coach, and aren't they so excited because they're about to start their holiday, and guess where?
The answer:
Astantham - on -Sea, Essex, right next to Clacton.
And, of course the happy holidaymakers have been booked for a week's holiday in Butterlin's Bogland Holiday Village.
But,
'Wait a minute, just before we're due to set off on our epic journey to the coast we have to check to see that everything is alright and in order, and remember folks, no urinating on the coach, otherwise you'll be sent off.
The checks have now been made, and it's off we go.
"Now ladies and gentlemen, how about a sing song.
"Let's sing:
"Don't chase buses down the road"
Everybody soon join's in and then sing another song, and that song is
"Beautiful Toilet"
The coach goes down Longjohn Road, past the Merry Kickers pub, and before you know it, turn's along Dunkers Lane, but is held up by a man sunbathing on the road.
Pc. world, one of the police officers coaxes him away and in a jiffy the coach can now proceed, going along Banters Road.
"I know you are all excited about your holiday and make the most of it for it's a long journey, and remember the journey is not all road on the way, for part of the journey we have to take to the railway line.
"Now Folks please look out of the window ahead of you for you can see Billyook Castle, a stone structure dating back to century 00.
People get their cameras out and take photos, but one camera is loaded with ink and catches someone in the eye. He manages to wipe away the ink with a tomato that he has in his packed lunch, but the tomato squirts at him, and ends up having to wipe his face on the coach seat in front of him.
Unfortunately another man spot's him doing it and catches him in the act, then tell's the driver.
"I'll give you one warning, that if you ever wipe your face on the coach seat again I'll chuck you off.
"That dirty mark that you made will have be removed with milk."
"It's now five miles from where the coach picked up our folk and now we are approaching Jimmy Duck's Halt, and for the next twelve miles we're going to drive along the railway line, but we have respect every train driver that passes us on the way driving his or her train because you all know that we have to share the line with the trains that pass us on the way.
"It's a real adventure of course driving a coach on the railway line because it's nice to share the railway line with the trains.
After twelve miles the coach leave's the railway line climb's up an embankment and take's to the road once more.
The coach passe's villages and towns on the way and through the window you can see the cows and sheep and farm lions.
Before long the coach head's towards the M.888 motorway and drives along it at a top speed of 200 miles per hour, leaping over vehicles in order to dodge the traffic jams, and before along stop's at Kitkat Service Station and all the gentlefolk get off and head towards the building, with some going around looking at the shops, but most ending up having their dinner in the Big John Restaurant.
Soon they're joined by the rest of the people who are on their coach, and in two hours, before you know it, they're back on the coach, and off we go.
"However, the coach journey isn't without obstacles for the driver has to dodge a hammer shower, with hammers raining down on him and his coach.
Fortunately the coach dodges the hammer shower and continues on it's journey passing through various places.
But don't forget, the coach has to drive along railway lines and across fields.
But, remember, when driving your coach across fields please take care not to disturb the cows.
And, another thing, please remember also to take care when driving your coach across the field because it could frighten sheep.
And, please remember to keep your windows shut for sheep could very easily get in through the windows and onto the coach.
Fancy having sheep on your coach, but that's what could happen if you don't keep your windows shut for they could get in through the windows.
Before long the coach has to take to the road once more but has to spend a penny so the driver order's everyone off the coach and take's it into the coach's toilet.
For the whole of the journey the coach had to put up with a full bladder but is now so relieved that it can now continue it's journey.
Before long the coach party arrive at Astantham - on - Sea, pulling up outside the holiday camp.
They are greeted by Greycoats who then take them to the reception office where they book in, ready to start their weekly holiday.
They stay in chalets, and in the evening head towards the dining hall and have their evening meal, and it's off to the knobbly Knees Ballroom for your evening entertainment, hosted by your own very George Nothing.
"Now, here come's own own very special band'
"The Billy Dungpile Combo" and lots of three legged ladies who dance along with the band.
And what a lovely time the folk are having, and not only that, there's outings too, to places like Bimble Bay and Quartermasters Castle.
Before long there are 50 people at the coach stop, some as old as 250 years.
Soon, a coach turn's up, operated by Swallower Coaches, and one by one everybody get's on the coach, and aren't they so excited because they're about to start their holiday, and guess where?
The answer:
Astantham - on -Sea, Essex, right next to Clacton.
And, of course the happy holidaymakers have been booked for a week's holiday in Butterlin's Bogland Holiday Village.
But,
'Wait a minute, just before we're due to set off on our epic journey to the coast we have to check to see that everything is alright and in order, and remember folks, no urinating on the coach, otherwise you'll be sent off.
The checks have now been made, and it's off we go.
"Now ladies and gentlemen, how about a sing song.
"Let's sing:
"Don't chase buses down the road"
Everybody soon join's in and then sing another song, and that song is
"Beautiful Toilet"
The coach goes down Longjohn Road, past the Merry Kickers pub, and before you know it, turn's along Dunkers Lane, but is held up by a man sunbathing on the road.
Pc. world, one of the police officers coaxes him away and in a jiffy the coach can now proceed, going along Banters Road.
"I know you are all excited about your holiday and make the most of it for it's a long journey, and remember the journey is not all road on the way, for part of the journey we have to take to the railway line.
"Now Folks please look out of the window ahead of you for you can see Billyook Castle, a stone structure dating back to century 00.
People get their cameras out and take photos, but one camera is loaded with ink and catches someone in the eye. He manages to wipe away the ink with a tomato that he has in his packed lunch, but the tomato squirts at him, and ends up having to wipe his face on the coach seat in front of him.
Unfortunately another man spot's him doing it and catches him in the act, then tell's the driver.
"I'll give you one warning, that if you ever wipe your face on the coach seat again I'll chuck you off.
"That dirty mark that you made will have be removed with milk."
"It's now five miles from where the coach picked up our folk and now we are approaching Jimmy Duck's Halt, and for the next twelve miles we're going to drive along the railway line, but we have respect every train driver that passes us on the way driving his or her train because you all know that we have to share the line with the trains that pass us on the way.
"It's a real adventure of course driving a coach on the railway line because it's nice to share the railway line with the trains.
After twelve miles the coach leave's the railway line climb's up an embankment and take's to the road once more.
The coach passe's villages and towns on the way and through the window you can see the cows and sheep and farm lions.
Before long the coach head's towards the M.888 motorway and drives along it at a top speed of 200 miles per hour, leaping over vehicles in order to dodge the traffic jams, and before along stop's at Kitkat Service Station and all the gentlefolk get off and head towards the building, with some going around looking at the shops, but most ending up having their dinner in the Big John Restaurant.
Soon they're joined by the rest of the people who are on their coach, and in two hours, before you know it, they're back on the coach, and off we go.
"However, the coach journey isn't without obstacles for the driver has to dodge a hammer shower, with hammers raining down on him and his coach.
Fortunately the coach dodges the hammer shower and continues on it's journey passing through various places.
But don't forget, the coach has to drive along railway lines and across fields.
But, remember, when driving your coach across fields please take care not to disturb the cows.
And, another thing, please remember also to take care when driving your coach across the field because it could frighten sheep.
And, please remember to keep your windows shut for sheep could very easily get in through the windows and onto the coach.
Fancy having sheep on your coach, but that's what could happen if you don't keep your windows shut for they could get in through the windows.
Before long the coach has to take to the road once more but has to spend a penny so the driver order's everyone off the coach and take's it into the coach's toilet.
For the whole of the journey the coach had to put up with a full bladder but is now so relieved that it can now continue it's journey.
Before long the coach party arrive at Astantham - on - Sea, pulling up outside the holiday camp.
They are greeted by Greycoats who then take them to the reception office where they book in, ready to start their weekly holiday.
They stay in chalets, and in the evening head towards the dining hall and have their evening meal, and it's off to the knobbly Knees Ballroom for your evening entertainment, hosted by your own very George Nothing.
"Now, here come's own own very special band'
"The Billy Dungpile Combo" and lots of three legged ladies who dance along with the band.
And what a lovely time the folk are having, and not only that, there's outings too, to places like Bimble Bay and Quartermasters Castle.
