Hey everyone 
It's time once more for another one of my blog posts. So far I've only really written about my experiences with AS. This next chapter will of course discuss AS as well, as it is now a very real part of my everyday life, but will touch on my experiences in trying to make it in this 'NT world'.
I wanted to share the latest in my current 'project', as it is a topic of great interest to me, and I hope to you as well. Since joining this forum, and learning much about the spectrum, and how it affects me, I've been able to gain a better understanding of myself, and my place in this world. I now feel I understand the difference between who I am, and who others perceive me to be; what I want, and what is expected of me; and how to succeed in life, by doing things "my way". I've been able to utilise the various bits of information gathered in a very practical way indeed.
For those of you who aren't aware, I am currently enrolled as a student at university. The industry I am pursuing, is an area I have been obsessed about since I was a small child. Because of this, it is a field I feel so natural doing, that it rarely stresses me at all, and I am pleased with my most of my final results so far. The challenge I am in fact facing, with my return to study, is the reality that the industry I have chosen to enter, is known for it's requirement for "networking", in order to be successful in finding work. The dreaded 'N' word, which had never been a concern, nor a strength, for me. This was a factor I was well aware of before entering the course, and initially, acted as a major deterrent, however, the desire to become a part of this industry was too great within me (after all...I've been working up to this moment my entire life) that it was a factor I simply could not ignore. In order to achieve what I wanted, I needed to face one of the biggest hurdles I had yet to face.
Preparation
So, admittedly, I had done quite a lot of preparation for this to all work. I had been planning to return to study for years now, yet felt that the time was never quite right, as I didn't feel I was prepared enough to face my destiny (both mentally, and emotionally). Also, it was never a good time in my life, due to various other factors that prevented me from doing so.
View attachment 12684
While I waited for that day to come, I decided that I would need to work hard, in order to ensure that I would be ready when the time had come (keep in mind that this is long before I was aware of my Aspieness). So how had I planned on achieving this? Well, as my weakness lay in my social abilities, it was logical for me to develop an interest in psychology. With this new interest, I was able to hyper focus at the task at hand. I begun to read, observe, and mimic, all sorts of NT behaviours. I learned to better read people by distinguishing different personality types, and mentally cataloging all I had learned. I learned about different behaviours in different genders, age groups, lifestyles, and eventually, neurological types (in fact, I became so good at appearing "normal", that when I did in fact learn about my Aspie-ways, I was told I that probably wasn't one; like many others on this forum).
View attachment 12685
As well as learning all about other people, I did a fair bit of soul-searching. I was also able to learn so much more about myself. I used my newly obtained information to better myself as an individual, and was eventually able to teach myself to become more vocal, more outgoing, more open-minded, and more brave.
Putting It In To Practice
View attachment 12683
I had already spent much time, and energy, trying to perfect my understanding of human behaviour best I could. I had also learned enough to understand that networking is a challenging practise; which even NTs could struggle to do well in, so I felt there was a bit of room for forgiveness. Though I still had much to learn, it was finally time, and I would be able to continue with my obsession for understanding, along the way.
The first thing I needed to do, was to ensure I could do the tasks at hand (the course content, that is). Luckily, this proved much more effortless than I had initially anticipated (it probably helped that I was obsessive in my execution of my assignments).
Next, I needed to get to know the other students. I would observe everyone, and try to determine different behaviours. I noticed one thing right away; there were other potential Aspies in my class. While observing, I also noticed a rather interesting development. Firstly, I recognised that there was a rather "popular" student, who was rather good with people. Others warmed to him easily, and he was able to connect with them with ease.
View attachment 12689
Then, I was able to recognise the "cliques", which seemed to be made up of all the more popular students, and those drawn towards them. These cliques would congregate on to one side of the room; leaving the remaining students on the opposite side. Those who were left, included a few international students (English was not their first language), and the students who I had initially suspected to be Aspies. This explained a lot in my mind. I had read many comments, from members on this site, about how they would learn of their diagnoses, then later learn that their friends, or partners, would sometimes also be on the spectrum. Perhaps this is a natural process which happens everywhere, world-wide, and explains how Aspies do end up together at times.
Eventually, we were required to participate in group projects. In the past, I had always despised these, as I would never know anyone, I was unable to voice my opinions, and projects would often be in the hands of those I could never relate with. This time, I was prepared. Though done in a rather clumsy manner, I was able to become friendly with the other potential Aspies. Eventually, we agreed to form a group, with a few others. I was made the leader, as the others felt my organisational skills would benefit the group, and I was able to manage the group members, and the task at hand.
My priority was to ensure that I would lead, and not control, the group. I wanted to ensure that I was fair, and that the group was able to complete our set objectives efficiently. I learned to understand my group members, and used this understanding to ensure that our project would cater towards their strengths as much as possible. We formed a basis for communication outside of classes, and I was sure to hear everyone's opinion, and help those who needed it. I must admit, there were times that I was concerned that I had taken on more than I could handle, and I had wondered whether I was in over my head.
Luckily, I feel that much of our success was due to having formed a good, reliable, group, with hardworking individuals, who cared about what they were doing. This made my job as a leader much easier than it could have been, so I was very grateful for that; especially as some other teams were not as lucky. By the end of the trimester, I was rather tired, and burnt out; though loving every minute of it. Our group project was recognised as being the best in class, and I was complimented on my ability to hold my group together. I had passed my first, enormous, hurdle.
Keeping On Track
After successfully accomplishing what I had set out to do, it was all a matter of building on top of the foundations I had created, and maintaining it. Due to the success of the group project, I was able to win over the respect of many students, and lecturers; I was even invited to a social event, and was later invited (by that very popular student I mentioned earlier) to join a small social circle, outside of uni, where we would meet together once a week. This was more than I could have hoped for, and I'm still pleasantly surprised at how far I have come, and that I was able to pull it all off at all. I'm currently waiting for my next trimester to begin; in the meantime, I am hoping to learn as much as I can from those who have accepted me in to their "network". I still have a long road ahead of me, and the final outcome is still unclear, but I am hopeful that my luck will continues to work in my favour.
View attachment 12688
Thanks for reading, I hope this was as interesting for you to read, as it was for me to carry out! Wish me luck next trimester!
Vanilla
Aka. Hart
PS. For those interested in learning about the "Extrovert Aspie":
The Extrovert Aspie | AspiesCentral.com
It's time once more for another one of my blog posts. So far I've only really written about my experiences with AS. This next chapter will of course discuss AS as well, as it is now a very real part of my everyday life, but will touch on my experiences in trying to make it in this 'NT world'.
I wanted to share the latest in my current 'project', as it is a topic of great interest to me, and I hope to you as well. Since joining this forum, and learning much about the spectrum, and how it affects me, I've been able to gain a better understanding of myself, and my place in this world. I now feel I understand the difference between who I am, and who others perceive me to be; what I want, and what is expected of me; and how to succeed in life, by doing things "my way". I've been able to utilise the various bits of information gathered in a very practical way indeed.
For those of you who aren't aware, I am currently enrolled as a student at university. The industry I am pursuing, is an area I have been obsessed about since I was a small child. Because of this, it is a field I feel so natural doing, that it rarely stresses me at all, and I am pleased with my most of my final results so far. The challenge I am in fact facing, with my return to study, is the reality that the industry I have chosen to enter, is known for it's requirement for "networking", in order to be successful in finding work. The dreaded 'N' word, which had never been a concern, nor a strength, for me. This was a factor I was well aware of before entering the course, and initially, acted as a major deterrent, however, the desire to become a part of this industry was too great within me (after all...I've been working up to this moment my entire life) that it was a factor I simply could not ignore. In order to achieve what I wanted, I needed to face one of the biggest hurdles I had yet to face.
Preparation
So, admittedly, I had done quite a lot of preparation for this to all work. I had been planning to return to study for years now, yet felt that the time was never quite right, as I didn't feel I was prepared enough to face my destiny (both mentally, and emotionally). Also, it was never a good time in my life, due to various other factors that prevented me from doing so.
View attachment 12684
While I waited for that day to come, I decided that I would need to work hard, in order to ensure that I would be ready when the time had come (keep in mind that this is long before I was aware of my Aspieness). So how had I planned on achieving this? Well, as my weakness lay in my social abilities, it was logical for me to develop an interest in psychology. With this new interest, I was able to hyper focus at the task at hand. I begun to read, observe, and mimic, all sorts of NT behaviours. I learned to better read people by distinguishing different personality types, and mentally cataloging all I had learned. I learned about different behaviours in different genders, age groups, lifestyles, and eventually, neurological types (in fact, I became so good at appearing "normal", that when I did in fact learn about my Aspie-ways, I was told I that probably wasn't one; like many others on this forum).
View attachment 12685
As well as learning all about other people, I did a fair bit of soul-searching. I was also able to learn so much more about myself. I used my newly obtained information to better myself as an individual, and was eventually able to teach myself to become more vocal, more outgoing, more open-minded, and more brave.
Putting It In To Practice
View attachment 12683
I had already spent much time, and energy, trying to perfect my understanding of human behaviour best I could. I had also learned enough to understand that networking is a challenging practise; which even NTs could struggle to do well in, so I felt there was a bit of room for forgiveness. Though I still had much to learn, it was finally time, and I would be able to continue with my obsession for understanding, along the way.
The first thing I needed to do, was to ensure I could do the tasks at hand (the course content, that is). Luckily, this proved much more effortless than I had initially anticipated (it probably helped that I was obsessive in my execution of my assignments).
Next, I needed to get to know the other students. I would observe everyone, and try to determine different behaviours. I noticed one thing right away; there were other potential Aspies in my class. While observing, I also noticed a rather interesting development. Firstly, I recognised that there was a rather "popular" student, who was rather good with people. Others warmed to him easily, and he was able to connect with them with ease.
View attachment 12689
Then, I was able to recognise the "cliques", which seemed to be made up of all the more popular students, and those drawn towards them. These cliques would congregate on to one side of the room; leaving the remaining students on the opposite side. Those who were left, included a few international students (English was not their first language), and the students who I had initially suspected to be Aspies. This explained a lot in my mind. I had read many comments, from members on this site, about how they would learn of their diagnoses, then later learn that their friends, or partners, would sometimes also be on the spectrum. Perhaps this is a natural process which happens everywhere, world-wide, and explains how Aspies do end up together at times.
Eventually, we were required to participate in group projects. In the past, I had always despised these, as I would never know anyone, I was unable to voice my opinions, and projects would often be in the hands of those I could never relate with. This time, I was prepared. Though done in a rather clumsy manner, I was able to become friendly with the other potential Aspies. Eventually, we agreed to form a group, with a few others. I was made the leader, as the others felt my organisational skills would benefit the group, and I was able to manage the group members, and the task at hand.
My priority was to ensure that I would lead, and not control, the group. I wanted to ensure that I was fair, and that the group was able to complete our set objectives efficiently. I learned to understand my group members, and used this understanding to ensure that our project would cater towards their strengths as much as possible. We formed a basis for communication outside of classes, and I was sure to hear everyone's opinion, and help those who needed it. I must admit, there were times that I was concerned that I had taken on more than I could handle, and I had wondered whether I was in over my head.
Luckily, I feel that much of our success was due to having formed a good, reliable, group, with hardworking individuals, who cared about what they were doing. This made my job as a leader much easier than it could have been, so I was very grateful for that; especially as some other teams were not as lucky. By the end of the trimester, I was rather tired, and burnt out; though loving every minute of it. Our group project was recognised as being the best in class, and I was complimented on my ability to hold my group together. I had passed my first, enormous, hurdle.
Keeping On Track
After successfully accomplishing what I had set out to do, it was all a matter of building on top of the foundations I had created, and maintaining it. Due to the success of the group project, I was able to win over the respect of many students, and lecturers; I was even invited to a social event, and was later invited (by that very popular student I mentioned earlier) to join a small social circle, outside of uni, where we would meet together once a week. This was more than I could have hoped for, and I'm still pleasantly surprised at how far I have come, and that I was able to pull it all off at all. I'm currently waiting for my next trimester to begin; in the meantime, I am hoping to learn as much as I can from those who have accepted me in to their "network". I still have a long road ahead of me, and the final outcome is still unclear, but I am hopeful that my luck will continues to work in my favour.
View attachment 12688
Thanks for reading, I hope this was as interesting for you to read, as it was for me to carry out! Wish me luck next trimester!
Vanilla
Aka. Hart
PS. For those interested in learning about the "Extrovert Aspie":
The Extrovert Aspie | AspiesCentral.com
