I feel I tell people too much, even here while censoring myself I am far too honest for my own good. Usually this way of being myself leaves me open to all manner of abuse, physical, mental and emotional are the biggies! But, lately I just don?t care, I don?t even care that the couple I had been getting to know lately (and it has turned sour due to his jealousy), I don?t care that one or both of them has discovered my refuge here and is most likely reading all my posts which I assumed were vaguely anonymous and largely unknown to anybody who knows me in real life. However, I have really enjoyed being here and knowing I am not alone and so now I have taken that one step further, let me explain:
Alrighty then, how to start, where to begin, ummm how about this, I thought I was alone, it turns out, I am not!
It has been like coming home after many years to find this place and interact with you guys but it isn?t the real world and that was what I was missing.
I mean to say that I never met an aspergical person in the flesh (that I know of) apart from the son of my old boss and I sincerely doubt he is on the spectrum as is claimed, because he simply has none of the traits I see in myself, he is in fact thee complete opposite to everything I see discussed here, I pretty much deem him to be a faker and, his attitude was confrontational when I pressed him to discuss how we were different from everybody else.
Oddly I was fired not long after I discovered holes in his discussions and raised an issue with his father (my boss) about him always leaving the work station in a shambles even after I had asked him not to.
Anyway, back to the point. I am not the sort of person to socialize with a group and so have never gone to any gatherings of other people with Aspergers, that?s not to say that I wouldn?t like to, I would, but I am not programmed that way.
I had to be god-awful drunk to go to the nightclub back when I had mates? Dutch courage (no offense to the Dutch, actually, is this saying now politically incorrect?)
I digress; I have never been in a predicament where I was able to associate with anybody that has my particular diversion. So, let me tell you what happened to me and what I mean, I had my mother just drop by and bring me a cup of coffee today and this girl walks into my shop and she is so, very, not my type, short and busty. Anyway, I go to serve her and we get to talking and it was like she was the only real customer I had had in all day, everything she said was interesting and amazing and I didn?t stutter or stumble or revert to learned explanations and we clicked with each other and I did find myself wondering If I was developing another crush despite a lack of attraction because as she talked I noticed more and more about her that I could easily find attractive.
Okay, my coffee was going cold, mother was getting ****** and then this other lady comes in and interacts with the girl and said something to her she didn?t like and she went into a defensive posture and started to make excuses and I suddenly knew, I was looking at me! Then the bubble burst, because the girl had said something to the lady which included revealing her age to be like 20 years my junior, ****, that was a let down cause I was starting to like her!
Well, the lady left and then inevitably, so did she and I was just standing there thinking about her and my brain kept saying stuff and I was telling it to shut up because I was sulking that I wasn?t a younger man or a far more unscrupulous one and then it hit me, my brain just screamed: she is Aspergical too!
I made a decision right there and then, and when I make a decision I invariably stick to it, I decided to meet and become friends with real live aspies. To that end, as soon as mother left I rang the guy that got me the job I am currently in and asked him if he knew of meetings where I could meet others on the spectrum and he asked me if I really wanted to know as he knows I actually hate gatherings of more than a few. He is looking into it for me, I am so excited!
I have never willingly thrust myself into a social situation that was specific, in a shopping center or whatever is manageable as it isn?t about you and you can get along by blocking out everybody else, bit of a ***** though when people get annoyed because I supposedly ignored them, even my job is fine as it is calculated for, it?s a planned chaos I control, sort of? mmmm, I think I know what I mean!
What was I saying, oh yeah, so this girl, I mentioned to someone in passing later on in the day about this girl and they said, not knowing about me, that yeah, she is a poor thing because she is autistic! And I immediately went OMG I totally guessed that, I JUST knew it.
How?
We can?t recognize one another; there are threads that I myself have written in where the majority claims it?s not feasible. Well it turns out it is, I spotted someone like me and got rock solid confirmation of said fact!
I actually met a wild aspie today. She got away but not before I had my eyes opened, by hiding from myself I have missed so much and so I am going to change. Wish me luck ; ]
Alrighty then, how to start, where to begin, ummm how about this, I thought I was alone, it turns out, I am not!
It has been like coming home after many years to find this place and interact with you guys but it isn?t the real world and that was what I was missing.
I mean to say that I never met an aspergical person in the flesh (that I know of) apart from the son of my old boss and I sincerely doubt he is on the spectrum as is claimed, because he simply has none of the traits I see in myself, he is in fact thee complete opposite to everything I see discussed here, I pretty much deem him to be a faker and, his attitude was confrontational when I pressed him to discuss how we were different from everybody else.
Oddly I was fired not long after I discovered holes in his discussions and raised an issue with his father (my boss) about him always leaving the work station in a shambles even after I had asked him not to.
Anyway, back to the point. I am not the sort of person to socialize with a group and so have never gone to any gatherings of other people with Aspergers, that?s not to say that I wouldn?t like to, I would, but I am not programmed that way.
I had to be god-awful drunk to go to the nightclub back when I had mates? Dutch courage (no offense to the Dutch, actually, is this saying now politically incorrect?)
I digress; I have never been in a predicament where I was able to associate with anybody that has my particular diversion. So, let me tell you what happened to me and what I mean, I had my mother just drop by and bring me a cup of coffee today and this girl walks into my shop and she is so, very, not my type, short and busty. Anyway, I go to serve her and we get to talking and it was like she was the only real customer I had had in all day, everything she said was interesting and amazing and I didn?t stutter or stumble or revert to learned explanations and we clicked with each other and I did find myself wondering If I was developing another crush despite a lack of attraction because as she talked I noticed more and more about her that I could easily find attractive.
Okay, my coffee was going cold, mother was getting ****** and then this other lady comes in and interacts with the girl and said something to her she didn?t like and she went into a defensive posture and started to make excuses and I suddenly knew, I was looking at me! Then the bubble burst, because the girl had said something to the lady which included revealing her age to be like 20 years my junior, ****, that was a let down cause I was starting to like her!
Well, the lady left and then inevitably, so did she and I was just standing there thinking about her and my brain kept saying stuff and I was telling it to shut up because I was sulking that I wasn?t a younger man or a far more unscrupulous one and then it hit me, my brain just screamed: she is Aspergical too!
I made a decision right there and then, and when I make a decision I invariably stick to it, I decided to meet and become friends with real live aspies. To that end, as soon as mother left I rang the guy that got me the job I am currently in and asked him if he knew of meetings where I could meet others on the spectrum and he asked me if I really wanted to know as he knows I actually hate gatherings of more than a few. He is looking into it for me, I am so excited!
I have never willingly thrust myself into a social situation that was specific, in a shopping center or whatever is manageable as it isn?t about you and you can get along by blocking out everybody else, bit of a ***** though when people get annoyed because I supposedly ignored them, even my job is fine as it is calculated for, it?s a planned chaos I control, sort of? mmmm, I think I know what I mean!
What was I saying, oh yeah, so this girl, I mentioned to someone in passing later on in the day about this girl and they said, not knowing about me, that yeah, she is a poor thing because she is autistic! And I immediately went OMG I totally guessed that, I JUST knew it.
How?
We can?t recognize one another; there are threads that I myself have written in where the majority claims it?s not feasible. Well it turns out it is, I spotted someone like me and got rock solid confirmation of said fact!
I actually met a wild aspie today. She got away but not before I had my eyes opened, by hiding from myself I have missed so much and so I am going to change. Wish me luck ; ]
