Bah, stoopid brain, must kill brain too me be free thought for self, stoopid brain.
Ummm, what I mean to say there is that yesterday I bought a fridge and my lovely brain (who it seems I cannot actually do without, judging by the previous statement), my brain decided it was time to introduce me to both humility and common sense. First let me preface by saying that I in no way advocate the sort of senseless superman style activities I am about to relate and suggest for your own sake dear reader, that should you be faced with a similar predicament that you actually do the exact opposite of myself.
So, I used to live in caravans and apartments, or flats as we call them here [Australia] (yes thank you brain), so anyway, I have always lived in smaller places and so a bar fridge and freezer were all I ever required or so I thought, when I moved into this great, big house I didn't bother, despite the need, to upgrade either my fridge or freezer.
Long story short, the elderly owners keep changing their minds as to how long I can stay, and whether they are selling the place or not and what have you like that, this lack of knowledge led me to believe I shouldn't attempt to improve my lot in life as it would all go by the wayside if I had to move in a hurry, or slowly, directly depending on the whim of others.
Recently upon realising that having work again had afforded me a tidy sum in the coffers, I relented and made the decision that some things were deserving of a change and I then went ahead and purchased a specialty made bed base and a separate, factory standard Queens size mattress, both to be delivered at a later date. The very next day (yesterday) I went out again and proceeded to buy a Samsung upright, side-by-side fridge/ freezer combo, and I can only say this, If I have to move I will cross that bridge when I come to it, but in the meantime I intend to live a happy life instead of constantly kowtowing to the indecisions of those around me.
Now, having made up my mind about such things I looked around me and dropped my jaw in stunned silence, it would seem that as I may have mentioned on this self same forum before, I have a terrible habit that when I gain legitimate employ I give a full measure of the 100% required and this means everything else in my life goes on the backburner, as I find it to hard to keep up with routine and constants while trying my damnedest to fit in with my new role as a normal employee.
I assume some of you may be able to relate to this, but add in that I am perpetually lazy [and brave enough to admit it no less] (just ignore him) and you have a combination that sees my living arrangements as chaotic, hectic, less than presentable or just plain woeful depending on how much of my feelings you wish to spare upon witnessing the atrocity that is my housekeeping skill, or lack thereof.
Well suffice to say that the fridge duly arrived in company of two ample gentleman set to the task, by ample I actually mean extraordinarily large and I am myself a big boy, but these guys, lets just say that if you like beefcake you would be eating for weeks. [In fact they weren't even that big, he's exaggerating a little now!] Yes, well, as my brain fails to realise, I am the narrator here and I have artistic license in my own recollections and so I may embellish or allow some slight exaggeration for clarification!
Getting back to the story, these two hefty guys (happy now) [YES], offered to take the fridge inside as well they should and I suggested that that wouldn't be necessary despite my brain telling me otherwise, they did the usual obligatory, "no, no its our job", "we insist" type malarkey and then readily agreed when I reassured them it wasn't necessary. They proceeded to leave the fridge unceremoniously in the carport where I quickly realised I had my work cut out for me.
Using my nous, my brain and I figured that if we placed a long piece of timber under the fridge we could glide it up the two steps to the back door, remove it, place it in front of the fridge again and glide it down the corridor, much like the Egyptians supposedly did with logs and heavy stones while making the pyramids, which as we all know, more rational people are aware were actually built by drunken space aliens one night while out on a joyride in our part of this galaxy... but I digress.
Anyway, this I did, the fridge moving on the timber thing not the pyramid building, and into the kitchen it came, whereupon, becoming upright from my stooped position, I experienced some chest and back pain. Now before you go ringing an ambulance for me as I know you care (you would have to, having read this far already), it was not a heart attack but simply my brains way of telling me [damn straight dickhead] that I need to do more exercise or at least warm up before I undertake strenuous activity that possibly could see me bust my poople valve [nods to Aussie comedian Carl Barron]
So here we are at the end of that little story, and there is a moral, which is this; sometimes you may get a clever idea that sees you thinking you're a superman or Hercules, these are in fact not true thoughts as you in reality are not either of these things or even remotely close to being in the general vicinity of the notion... of either of these things, you are in actuality a regular, run-of the-mill, flesh and blood type human, sure some of us may be slightly bionic in that we have had bits replaced or augmented after accidents, but this does not make you Steve Austin, The Six Million Dollar Man [Or Jamie Summers, The Bionic Woman if you are reading this and you are a female of the species] (thank you yes, I was getting to that).
So don't be like me and let your pride or indeed, shame, get the best of you, if there is work to be done that people are there to do then let them do it, and who cares if they think your a grot, if they think your a bit of a hermit, what does it matter if they think anything at all as it's not like they know you or your mates or your mum and are going to tell them all that you don't look after your self properly [which I don't], which I don't.
They say pride goeth before a fall and if it involves a fridge landing on top of you then it is best not to let pride get a foothold in the first place.
Ummm, what I mean to say there is that yesterday I bought a fridge and my lovely brain (who it seems I cannot actually do without, judging by the previous statement), my brain decided it was time to introduce me to both humility and common sense. First let me preface by saying that I in no way advocate the sort of senseless superman style activities I am about to relate and suggest for your own sake dear reader, that should you be faced with a similar predicament that you actually do the exact opposite of myself.
So, I used to live in caravans and apartments, or flats as we call them here [Australia] (yes thank you brain), so anyway, I have always lived in smaller places and so a bar fridge and freezer were all I ever required or so I thought, when I moved into this great, big house I didn't bother, despite the need, to upgrade either my fridge or freezer.
Long story short, the elderly owners keep changing their minds as to how long I can stay, and whether they are selling the place or not and what have you like that, this lack of knowledge led me to believe I shouldn't attempt to improve my lot in life as it would all go by the wayside if I had to move in a hurry, or slowly, directly depending on the whim of others.
Recently upon realising that having work again had afforded me a tidy sum in the coffers, I relented and made the decision that some things were deserving of a change and I then went ahead and purchased a specialty made bed base and a separate, factory standard Queens size mattress, both to be delivered at a later date. The very next day (yesterday) I went out again and proceeded to buy a Samsung upright, side-by-side fridge/ freezer combo, and I can only say this, If I have to move I will cross that bridge when I come to it, but in the meantime I intend to live a happy life instead of constantly kowtowing to the indecisions of those around me.
Now, having made up my mind about such things I looked around me and dropped my jaw in stunned silence, it would seem that as I may have mentioned on this self same forum before, I have a terrible habit that when I gain legitimate employ I give a full measure of the 100% required and this means everything else in my life goes on the backburner, as I find it to hard to keep up with routine and constants while trying my damnedest to fit in with my new role as a normal employee.
I assume some of you may be able to relate to this, but add in that I am perpetually lazy [and brave enough to admit it no less] (just ignore him) and you have a combination that sees my living arrangements as chaotic, hectic, less than presentable or just plain woeful depending on how much of my feelings you wish to spare upon witnessing the atrocity that is my housekeeping skill, or lack thereof.
Well suffice to say that the fridge duly arrived in company of two ample gentleman set to the task, by ample I actually mean extraordinarily large and I am myself a big boy, but these guys, lets just say that if you like beefcake you would be eating for weeks. [In fact they weren't even that big, he's exaggerating a little now!] Yes, well, as my brain fails to realise, I am the narrator here and I have artistic license in my own recollections and so I may embellish or allow some slight exaggeration for clarification!
Getting back to the story, these two hefty guys (happy now) [YES], offered to take the fridge inside as well they should and I suggested that that wouldn't be necessary despite my brain telling me otherwise, they did the usual obligatory, "no, no its our job", "we insist" type malarkey and then readily agreed when I reassured them it wasn't necessary. They proceeded to leave the fridge unceremoniously in the carport where I quickly realised I had my work cut out for me.
Using my nous, my brain and I figured that if we placed a long piece of timber under the fridge we could glide it up the two steps to the back door, remove it, place it in front of the fridge again and glide it down the corridor, much like the Egyptians supposedly did with logs and heavy stones while making the pyramids, which as we all know, more rational people are aware were actually built by drunken space aliens one night while out on a joyride in our part of this galaxy... but I digress.
Anyway, this I did, the fridge moving on the timber thing not the pyramid building, and into the kitchen it came, whereupon, becoming upright from my stooped position, I experienced some chest and back pain. Now before you go ringing an ambulance for me as I know you care (you would have to, having read this far already), it was not a heart attack but simply my brains way of telling me [damn straight dickhead] that I need to do more exercise or at least warm up before I undertake strenuous activity that possibly could see me bust my poople valve [nods to Aussie comedian Carl Barron]
So here we are at the end of that little story, and there is a moral, which is this; sometimes you may get a clever idea that sees you thinking you're a superman or Hercules, these are in fact not true thoughts as you in reality are not either of these things or even remotely close to being in the general vicinity of the notion... of either of these things, you are in actuality a regular, run-of the-mill, flesh and blood type human, sure some of us may be slightly bionic in that we have had bits replaced or augmented after accidents, but this does not make you Steve Austin, The Six Million Dollar Man [Or Jamie Summers, The Bionic Woman if you are reading this and you are a female of the species] (thank you yes, I was getting to that).
So don't be like me and let your pride or indeed, shame, get the best of you, if there is work to be done that people are there to do then let them do it, and who cares if they think your a grot, if they think your a bit of a hermit, what does it matter if they think anything at all as it's not like they know you or your mates or your mum and are going to tell them all that you don't look after your self properly [which I don't], which I don't.
They say pride goeth before a fall and if it involves a fridge landing on top of you then it is best not to let pride get a foothold in the first place.
